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To not be comfortable with current parents as school staff

(79 Posts)
FrenchDragon Sat 25-Mar-17 10:43:13

When my first DC started school there were two people working there who had children at the school (I didn't know this). Now there are two permanent teachers, plus another one who did permanent part time for the second half of last year and will probably again this year, plus is relieving. Plus another reliever, an office administrator and the caretaker.

One teaches her own child, the relievers have taught their own children. The school is zoned so they mostly live in the community as well. They teach their friends' and neighbours' children, some they have known since babies.

AIBU to think this is just not right? The school obviously doesn't think so, or the board.

My problems with it are lack of impartiality, lack of boundaries (there was an incident with drunk teachers going to a party at a parent's house last year, when quite a few school children were present), confidentiality issues as I'm sure everything is discussed, and it just feels inappropriate.

On the upside they are all very, very nice people and I'm sure are great teachers.

This school is not in the UK. Am not trying to drip feed but as this is very identifying, I'm trying not to out myself.

QueenieGoldstein Sat 25-Mar-17 10:47:36

I teach at my DD's school. I'm in a different KS to her and it has caused no issues. My school appreciates the fact that I'm a professional and in no way let it affect my work. It might be different outside of the UK but here lots of parents work in their DC schools (usually as TAs but increasingly as teachers)

VivienneWestwoodsKnickers Sat 25-Mar-17 10:49:48

I think YABU. My dad taught me for a year at primary school. The teachers were all friends and I saw many of them drunk at our house at some point over the years. It's perfectly normal.

Pangur2 Sat 25-Mar-17 10:52:17

In small villages etc teachers are going to be part of the community, so they are going to be friends with other parents, be in the local pub, go to parties etc. It's a different dynamic from being a teacher in a big city, where you often live as far from the school as possible! (For secondary school anyway! I know primary might be a little bit different.) Surely if the teachers and staff you have mentioned live in the community, their kids are going to go to the community school?

MaisyPops Sat 25-Mar-17 10:52:54

Its fairly common in the UK.
Id happily send my child to the school i teach in and many of my colleagues do. At secondary staff children dont get their parents as teachers but i can see in a small primary school how its unavoidable.

Pangur2 Sat 25-Mar-17 10:53:41

Also my husband's Dad was a teacher. In that situation you are used to seeing the other teachers about socially. My fella said you just think of them as "real people" a bit earlier than other kids might. (I used to think my teachers lived at the school in primary, haha!)

dilemmmmmma Sat 25-Mar-17 10:54:06


I know people do it but I think it's unfair on everybody

QueenieGoldstein Sat 25-Mar-17 10:54:27

Why is it unfair?

JigglyTuff Sat 25-Mar-17 10:55:31

I live in a small town and most of the teachers have kids at our school. Its pretty normal here. They're not allowed to teach their own children though

corythatwas Sat 25-Mar-17 10:57:21

So what do you do as a teacher when your child is allocated the school you happen to teach in? Quit your job?

Pud2 Sat 25-Mar-17 10:57:42

Unfair?! In my experience, parents who work in schools are very professional and if anything, they give their children less attention than the other children. If they were unprofessional in any way, in or out of school, the head should deal with it in the same way they'd deal with any staff.

MsMarvel Sat 25-Mar-17 10:57:44

My mum is a teacher and taught me. How do you think small village schools would get around this happening?

I also knew a lot of my teachers as friends of my mum. There was one occasion where I accidently called a teacher by her first name rather than 'miss' . but it was just seen as funny, and I apologised, so no different really to a teacher being accidently called 'mum'

If anything I think it was slightly unfair towards the children of teachers, rather than any favoritism shown. My teachers were able to say 'd you want me to go and tell your mum?' if I got in trouble for talking in class etc.

MrGrumpy01 Sat 25-Mar-17 10:58:27

Fairly normal. There are a number of teachers and support staff at my primary school who have children in the school.

Some of the academies have children of staff as part of their admission criteria.

NoMoreAngstPls Sat 25-Mar-17 10:58:44

confused Tbh i thought this was the norm.
About half the TAs, the Secretary , and a few of the teachers live in our village. At least a few of them have DCs at the school.
I think it adds to the community feel of the school, and a focus on improvement

FrenchDragon Sat 25-Mar-17 10:59:00

Interesting! I didn't think it was that common as I'd never heard of it before. Although to be fair I didn't think of rural communities.

Its not a small community. It's in the suburbs of a city that has approx 500,000 people.

I did think it was inappropriate when a parent was investigated by SS and obviously the teachers knew more about it than the parents and were discussing it at social occasions.

I pipe in the Highlands so the majority of school staff in all the local villages schools live very locally including having to teach their own children at times it doesn't seem to be a problem. My dc have been to parties with teachers at them and we are good friends with and socialise with a couple of school staff. Children are very good at separating the two and that mums friend is Jane out of school and Mrs Smith in school.
We don't directly chat about any of the children and confidentiality is very much considered and probably a little hotter on it because we are small villages and know everybody than if things were a bit more anonymous.

SashaTaught Sat 25-Mar-17 10:59:21

This is very common in my experience. Not only from when I was at school but with my own DC. My DP is from a family of teachers, well all except him, and it's quite standard.

I really don't think it matters in a school that is set up and operates in the main fairly. Any very overt favouritism is picked up on. From what I remember of my friend who's mum was a teacher, she had a much more difficult time at school as she couldn't get away with anything!

QueenieGoldstein Sat 25-Mar-17 11:00:36

Also how would it look to parents if I had sent my daughter to a different school? Trust me they would see it as our school not being "good" enough for my daughter which is rubbish as I love our school and it's the best fit for her.

It happens more often in the private sector as well as staff get reduced fees.

sonjadog Sat 25-Mar-17 11:01:13

YABU. Are teachers meant to send their children to schools far away from where they live, or they not allowed to live within a set distance of the school? So what if teachers turn up at a party. They are allowed to have lives outside the school too.

SashaTaught Sat 25-Mar-17 11:01:17

We're in London and its still quite common, which is a city of millions.

FrenchDragon Sat 25-Mar-17 11:01:39

Not as identifying as I thought then gringrin

KingscoteStaff Sat 25-Mar-17 11:02:25

This will increase in the future, as education authorities can now choose to give the children of employees (kitchen staff, TAs, Teachers, office staff etc) priority places (after LAC, statemented children and siblings).

FrenchDragon Sat 25-Mar-17 11:05:49

There are about 10 schools within a 5-10 minute drive so they wouldn't have to go miles away! All their children were at the school before them so I just would have thought they would look for a job somewhere else.

Perfectly happy to be told IABU though.

isittheholidaysyet Sat 25-Mar-17 11:06:00

I'm a parent, and the child of teachers. Live in a semi rural area.

It greatly worries me when staff don't send their kids to the school they work in. Obviously the school isn't good enough for their kids so is it good enough for my child?
(Disclaimers on that: I'm talking about primary, and where the school would be the obvious choice for where the child lives and any SEN they may have.)

Round here everyone knows everyone else. Go to the pub and you will be socialising with your teacher, doctor, dentist, etc.
(And you probably went to school with them when you were a kid!)

When I was at primary, (elsewhere) every single member of staff had a kid in the school (Except the nuns). It was normal, no issues. (One child was particularly naughty, teachers were careful not to complain about him when his teacher mum was in the room, and only tell her when they would have spoken to a normal parent in the same situation)

Currently there is a teachers child in my kid's class. Teacher is just careful to not comment in certain parent conversations, and we are all grown ups and know why that is.

Witchend Sat 25-Mar-17 11:08:05

Dm reckons it's a sign of a good school. After all if the staff still want to send their dc to that school, despite all the disadvantages of being a teacher's kid, it shows that they think it's the best.

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