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To be annoyed at my brother and SIL?

(165 Posts)
rainbowsockstoday Sat 25-Mar-17 09:54:13

My brother and his fiancé are getting married in June. The wedding has been in the planning for a couple of years now and they have been full on all the time so some us will be pleased when the constant pressure stops. I'm a bridesmaid and so am trying to be positive but yesterday all people did was complain about me!

My first crime was that I'm going home the day after the wedding (it's abroad) on the Sunday because I have school on the Monday. My family told me to just tell school that I'll be in later that week so I can stay longer. They don't seem to understand that as a teacher I can't just put in holiday and have to go during term time.

My second is not going to the first hen do (there's three) because it's going to be nearly £400 and that's a lot for one weekend when we are already paying £1100 to attend the wedding.

Third is saying I don't want to lose weight. We are ttc right now so it's not an ideal time to go on a crash diet and I'm not overweight (size 8). She wants us all to "look our best" because she has to "look at the wedding pictures forever" given I'm buying my own bridesmaids dress I don't see what it matters.

I think I'm just being over sensitive because they called our wedding boring so feel free to call me out on it.

GeillisTheWitch Sat 25-Mar-17 09:57:59

The bride and groom sound awful. How dare they tell you to lose weight for their wedding and call your wedding boring. How some people get to this age without realising that the world doesn't revolve around them is a mystery to me.

Cherrysoup Sat 25-Mar-17 09:58:53

Major bridezilla: 2 years of constant planning?! Turn up when essential, ignore hen dos, one presumes her best mate will be organising these for her. 3 hen dos is ridiculous. As a fellow teacher, I sympathise, you really can't just turn up later in the week! You get one day unpaid if you're lucky for sibling weddings. People become blinded by their wants and needs. Smile and wave, smile and wave.

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 Sat 25-Mar-17 09:59:22

Wow didn't realise you had to pay to be a bridesmaid!! As you have effectively done!! Offer to stand on the end of the photo so they can crop you off if your humongous size 8 body is offending her!!
Hopefully after bridezilla has had her day normal can life can resume for you.

wowfudge Sat 25-Mar-17 10:00:24

Pull out and cancel your trip. Then they may have something to complain about.

Astro55 Sat 25-Mar-17 10:00:35

Just ignore and be glad it's over -

Your memory of their wedding will be their nasty comments !!

Tell her you'll remember the 'lose weight" comment for a long time

PurpleWithRed Sat 25-Mar-17 10:00:38

Oh I do love a good Bridezilla. They are nuts. Carry on as you are. If dieting is a deal breaker then pull out of being a bridesmaid (and entertain us all by asking her to give you the money for the bridesmaids dress you won't be wearing any more...).

WonderMike Sat 25-Mar-17 10:01:40

If you're a size 8 what size do they want you to diet to? shock

Iamastonished Sat 25-Mar-17 10:02:03

Your future SIL sounds awful. I can't really suggest anything except to repeat ad nauseum, "no I can't take extra time off" and "no, I can't afford to attend all the hen dos".

At a size 8 you don't sound overweight anyway so stuff that.

I feel sorry for your brother. What does he say BTW?

StatisticallyChallenged Sat 25-Mar-17 10:05:07

Some folk really do lose any and all sense of reason in a fog of bride and groom zilla Ness.

It's like newsflash, it's going to be broadly the same as every other wedding folk have been too. I've got one of these just now who is pushing people away left right and centre because if she doesn't there won't be any 'surprises'...

Doyouwantabrew Sat 25-Mar-17 10:08:28

I would stop all contact and just turn up on the wedding day. They sound ridiculous.

Moussemoose Sat 25-Mar-17 10:13:11

Fuck off with "go on a diet"!angry

How dare she. I would have walked right out, after, an incensed feminist rant about policing other women's bodies.

They would be begging me NOT to come. Outrageous.

Bluntness100 Sat 25-Mar-17 10:14:53

Is this real? You're a size eight and they want you even thinner? shock

AgricClucky31 Sat 25-Mar-17 10:14:55

Sounds like it's the drama of the wedding that is feeding their relationship. I wonder what they will focus their attentions on once it's finished and they realise they are ordinary mortals who now have to be with each other for ever..... and ever... stares off into the abyss

Anyone opened a book on the length of this marriage? Fancy a wager?

sparklefarts Sat 25-Mar-17 10:17:28

Fudge that, I would not be going to this wedding. If the 1100 was non refundable I'd be going on my holiday but not attending the wedding

Whocansay Sat 25-Mar-17 10:17:33

I just can't get passed the fact she wants you to lose weight when you are a size 8!!

It would be rude to ask that of you no matter what size you were, but bloody hell! Please tell her to fuck off.

You are not unreasonable in any way about any of it. She is an idiot.

eyespydreams Sat 25-Mar-17 10:20:04

But seriously, what size does she want you to be? shock

floraeasy Sat 25-Mar-17 10:24:57

It's your poor brother who has the worse of it - he's got to live with her! shock But I'm not surprised you're annoyed.

Hulder Sat 25-Mar-17 10:28:36

You are so not oversensitive.

At this point I'd be resigning as a bridesmaid and possibly from the wedding

Any chance your brother is the golden child?

Gingernaut Sat 25-Mar-17 10:29:06

This would leave me resigning as bridesmaid.


TestingTestingWonTooFree Sat 25-Mar-17 10:30:17

The poor brother chose his bride and inflicted her on op and the rest of the family. Maybe he's an arsehole too?

upperlimit Sat 25-Mar-17 10:30:21

You're sil told you to lose weight for her wedding day?!

I think you should muscle through with your own plan at your own weight regardless of disapproving pa comments and steele yourself for a lifetime of batshit craziness.

upperlimit Sat 25-Mar-17 10:31:49

Sorry, not you're, your

madcapcat Sat 25-Mar-17 10:32:02

Fuck me! I couldn't get past the three hen dos even before I got to the presumption of her daring to tell you you had to lose weight (from a size 8 shock ) because she has to look at the photos forever! And how dare they say your wedding was boring. I am just gobsmacked by the things some bridezillas think are acceptable. I am furious on your behalf and I've never met you or them!

portico Sat 25-Mar-17 10:32:03

For a start I am sure you are gorgeous. Your job matters, and how dare they tell you otherwise. Tell the SIL to FO. Secondly, if she is as vain and selfish as all that I don't see the marriage lasting beyond 3-5 years. Don't think the photos will matter to SIL then.

Btw, what do you get out of 3 hen dos that you can't get from the first one. Perplexed here.

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