to find this really frustrating?!(7 Posts)
Our twins (5 yr old) have never been brill sleepers. Lately I have been on a(nother) severe training spree after they started yet another phase of waking up at 5am. This involves me getting up loads of times in the night and early morning, explaining again that they need to stay in bed until the sun comes up (they have a gro clock), and, if there's one star left, persuading them to read quietly and whisper if they want to say anything to each other. (They never go back to sleep at this point.)
I can't sleep once they're talking and have a chronic condition which makes me very, very tired and achey the more I get up which is part of my motivation. I am also the breadwinner of the family so need to get as much sleep as I can.
T2 was ill the night before last, and about 6am this morn he was sick again a little. I put a towel over his sheet and asked him to try and sleep some more as he was obviously tired. 10 mins later T1 comes to tell me T2 has been sick again. I ask DH to deal with it this time. There isn't much despite T1's description but apparently requires DH to strip the bed. He tells T2 to take his pyjamas off as they're wet. Then he tells him to get dressed, rather than put on more pyjamas, and doesn't put new sheets on his bed either. Bearing in mind that it isn't that early any more BUT their sun isn't up yet! DH gets back into bed and falls asleep, as usual.
The twins start chatting loudly and I am wide awake by this point, so I go see what they're doing. Turns out they are both very confused, they think it's morning, T1 wants to go downstairs, T2 is sitting on the floor with no clothes on upset coz he wants to go back in bed and rest, but can't coz his bed's not made. So I make the bed and help him get dressed - but now he's in clothes, not pyjamas, coz that's what he'd started doing - and then he asks for me to brush his teeth as his mouth tastes funny... T1 has started playing by this point (and is also dressed), and wants to go downstairs but I have to explain again that it's not time to get up. By this point after having teeth brushed T2 has decided he'd rather play, after all that. (Typical!)
Now I won't get any more sleep guaranteed. Again. They play for 5 mins and then T2 is retching again so I go check on him. Their sun comes up at this point - yay... T1 says 'yay we can go downstairs and have breakfast' so I tell him to go ask daddy for that (coz there's no way I am!) So off he goes with his older brother who is up and dressed by now. And then T2 comes for a cuddle with me in bed. And stays there for ages coz he's tired, what a surprise.
AIBU to be annoyed that DH has just blatantly ignored all the sleep training I've been doing (and yes, it has been collective but let's face it, it's mostly me) and, knowing our boys, has probably put us back to square one i.e. the 'we can get up whenever we like regardless of whether the sun's up' situation?!
And yes I did mostly just want a moan. It's so damned frustrating and tiring trying to sleep train and I absolutely despise and loathe it. They used to wake up 5-6 times a night EACH so this is definite improvement, but it's just so hard to keep going when I'm so tired all the time AND also now trying to work.
Sounds awful and you have every right to a big moan.
What rewards/sanctions are in place for getting up before the clock goes orange? My older two share and no one gets any TV all day if anyone gets up before the clock goes orange.
That said, if someone is ill then I don't think it's fair to expect them to stay in bed. We generally think all bets are off in these circumstances. I'd have brought the sick one into bed with me and a bucket and left the well one to wait for the clock to go orange.
Does your dh understand what you're trying to do with the sleep training? You probably need to make a plan with him about what to do in certain circumstances, the key is consistency so you both have to agree what that means.
I hope your day gets better and your sick boy is ok
I'd be livid with DH for not putting clean sheets back on and pjs on T1! What did he say about why? Just sounds lazy to me
Op I could have written the EXACT same post as you! My twins are also 5 have a gro clock but STILL get up at 5-6. Dt2 actually turns the lock off, put the sun up and acts like he has slept in
Dh is ok at dealing with it but I think both of us are too tired to follow through as firmly and consistently as we really should be iyswim?
A vomiting bug knocked it all out recently too.
Op are you me?
The clocks go forward tonight that may help?
I'm just amazed so many people get so arsey about stuff that's parenting. Sorry OP - I recognise that's not supportive but you have an unwell child. Yes, they wake up early, most children do and many adults in these lighter mornings. It's normal. If you want a life of lovely snuggly lie ins then children don't fit well into that!
Agree with RN in that I think in households where sleep isn't an issue, when kids are ill its really just go with the flow.
So I wouldn't say DH wbu to do things differently in that situation.
However the situation does sound like a nightmare and you have my sympathies.
Can you get stricter on the sanctions for getting up and push the rewards for staying in bed?
I used to do the "pom pom" method with DD for the things we struggled with. Her problem was she liked to sleep to much, we have to be out by 6.30 every day so mornings were horrendous. I gave her a little tub and if we had she could earn a pom pom for a good morning, and a good after school. I'd also give her a pom pom if she did something kind/ helpful off her own back. You can then give rewards when the tub is full or I used it like a currency system which we'd both agreed to. So 4 pom poms meant she got to choose her favourite meal for dinner, 10 pom poms a trip to her favourite cafe etc. It worked really well and I did notice a marked difference in her behaviour in the mornings. Keep the tub on their bedside table as a reminder and chat frequently about what they are working towards. And most importantly don't take pom poms away for bad behaviour.
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