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Delicate Situation - unhappy child...

(10 Posts)
NotSureWhatToDo2017 Sat 25-Mar-17 07:28:15

I had a friend (A). we were really close, then we drifted. I felt she moved away from me (to another friend) more than me from her and it made me sad, but hey, i'm a grown up...

then friend has EA with her (A)s dp, just before A & dp were about to make some big life decisions. A tried to get past it, but eventually couldnt. (all understandable)

A then got a new partner and moved in with them (D).
A had 2 dc with exDP.

I saw one of the DC the other day, and they used to be bouncy and over the top, and they seemed quiet (could be age thing....)

i stopped to talk to dc and asked how they were, etc, and how mum was and they said " Mum now lives with D her girlfriend" I asked how they were, and the dc said " D is mean to me and mum doesnt do anything about it "

i asked dc if they had told their teacher/dad and they said they had but nothing was happening about it

i just dont know if i should say anything, i get on well with the exDP - friendly etc, but is it just over strict parenting? or something more serious?

i dont really know what to do - i guess my aibu is wibu to speak to the exDP? and if so, how do i word it?

Moanyoldcow Sat 25-Mar-17 07:32:19

Yes, I'd mention it to the kids' father. If a child makes a disclosure then you must act on it.

PumpkinPie2016 Sat 25-Mar-17 07:36:02

I would mention to the child's dad. The fact that the child has mentioned it to you in a conversation tells me that it is bothering them.

It could be something simple and easily solved but equally could be something more.

luckylucky24 Sat 25-Mar-17 07:37:19

I would speak to Dad. "Hi just wondered how you were doing? I saw X the other day and he mentioned things weren't going well with mums new partner. He seemed upset by it. Is everything okay?"

NotSureWhatToDo2017 Sat 25-Mar-17 07:41:12

thanks all - i guess i know i needed to say something as its been preying on my mind....

NotSureWhatToDo2017 Sat 25-Mar-17 07:41:43

do i speak to Dad or Mum - i havent fallen out with mum, but as i said we have drifted apart

Mummyoflittledragon Sat 25-Mar-17 08:30:46

I'd speak to the dad I think. That is, if you believe him to be still engaged in the child's life. Your friendship has gone with the mother anyway. And she may see your intervention as interfering. Whereas at least mentioning it to the dad, it will be heard.

NotSureWhatToDo2017 Sat 25-Mar-17 09:59:26

He is fully involved - from what I can see he's a good dad

NotSureWhatToDo2017 Sat 25-Mar-17 15:08:07

thanks all - had a chat with the dad - all ok!

really appreciate your help

Mummyoflittledragon Sat 25-Mar-17 15:24:04

Good 😊

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