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To be really offended by this?

(33 Posts)
kellyisnthere Sat 25-Mar-17 06:24:12

I know there are A few posts about people wanting clean/ tidy houses with toddlers so this has reminded me of something that quite upset me the other day. My dtwins are 15 months old and literally want to grab everything they see! Before I had kids my house was spotless and very minimalistic, no clutter anywhere. I was very proud of my home but to be honest had very few visitors so no one really noticed. Fast forward 15 months and my house has just exploded. There are always toys everywhere, washing up to do/ pack away, crumbs on floor, beds unmade, laundry piling up and low and behold now I have twins every Tom, dick and Harry want to visit angry mostly unannounced too. So my sil visits last week and brings her 7 year old dd. She's sat on the sofa and her mum says to her 'why don't you roll the ball for the babies?' Her dd then scrunches her face and says ' no the floors too dirty' this has really annoyed me as I know my sil will probably go round telling everyone what a s**t tip my house is. Funny thing is she never once visited before I had my babies so had to idea how well I kept my home. It's so frustrating angry

Devilishpyjamas Sat 25-Mar-17 06:26:58

I think she just didn't want to roll the ball and do said that (meaning any floor is dirty / 5 second rule and all that). A 7 year old won't be noticing housekeeping

Euphemia Sat 25-Mar-17 06:35:55

Is the floor too dirty? confused

There's mess and there's mess ... and my DD would have noticed housekeeping at 7. grin

You don't mention a DH/DP: what's he doing?

abbsisspartacus Sat 25-Mar-17 06:38:01

Don't answer the door next time?

SomethingBorrowed Sat 25-Mar-17 06:40:23

YANBU
Advice from a fellow twin mum:
- get a cleaner a couple h a week
- tidy up as you go during the day, for ex don't leave the kitchen after a meal until the dishes are done etc., put all toys away when leaving the living room.

floraeasy Sat 25-Mar-17 06:40:29

If they don't like it they don't need to visit. You sound like you've enough going on without worrying about them.

If you would like to get on top of things for YOU (not them) check out stuff like FlyLady.

I find housework and organisation overwhelming at times and I don't even have kids.

Good luck.

kellyisnthere Sat 25-Mar-17 06:43:13

There were crumbs on the floor where a baby had stood on a carrot crisp thingy. This must have happened between me opening the door and them coming in as I would have swept it up I had noticed. I think the main problem I have is people thinking I'm incapable of having a clean home as their first impressions of my home is a bomb site whereas before I would have been proud to show it off.

Cheby Sat 25-Mar-17 06:44:29

Was she right? I completely get how hard it is to keep on top of stuff with small kids, and mess is to be expected. My house is usually a tip and we are rarely 'visitor ready' (although it's unusually tidy atm as my pregnancy nesting instinct has kicked in).

But if you've got kids crawling then you do need to push the toys aside every few days and run the hoover over.

Cheby Sat 25-Mar-17 06:46:19

Tip for toddler food crumbs; we got a mini handheld vacuum that stayed out in the lounge. Could zap mess up in seconds before it got trodden in.

Shurleyshummishtake Sat 25-Mar-17 06:49:12

Ah bless you- life with toddler twins is exhausting.

You sound a bit overwhelmed by it all and tbh if you were house proud before I suspect it is bothering you how it looks now more than it is bothering others.

Try and get on top of it again and then plan how to keep it

Pack the kids out with DH for a few hours one weekend and blitz the place

Get big soft ribs in the living room that all the toys get chucked in twice a day (the kids can help with this), get rid of any excess toys or stuff they are fussed about.

One thing that helped me was only brining toys out in a cycle. They can't play with it all at any one time and they get 'toy blindness' and ignore most of it anyway so just have a few out and keep the rest in the loft or spare room or under stairs and just change them over every couple of weeks.

Could you afford a cleaner?

If not then aim to have a quick vacuum daily for the main areas when the twins are in their high chairs. Strap em in with a biscuit and chuck toys in tubs, quickly tidy up and vac and wipe and that's it. Makes a huge difference.

Your DH could do laundry when he gets home whilst you do bath time or vice versa. If you do a load a day it won't pile up.

And wash upas you go along

I think the more you leave it to all pile up the bigger a job it is and feels insurmountable.

And then get out the house!! You won't see the mess from the park!!

Oh and visitors?
That's your cue to say great I could do with 20minsto crack on so please entertain the babies whilst I sort the beds out etc.
Don't feel you have to entertain people. Anyone with a heart or an ounce of common sense will know that their role when they visit is to muck in.

kellyisnthere Sat 25-Mar-17 06:49:25

I Hoover twice a day! Like I said this must have happened when I went to answer the door... Baby pulls crisp off table, then stands on it. It doesn't take long for that to happen. I do have a handheld vacuum for quick pick ups .

SmileEachDay Sat 25-Mar-17 06:49:29

Stop caring what other people think.

If you are naturally a tidier, you'll get it back once your babies have left home are a little older.

If anyone actually talks about how clean/dirty someone else's house is then they are clearly a twat.

kellyisnthere Sat 25-Mar-17 06:53:07

Smile thank you for that reassurance. I feel like I'm constantly on the go but there's no progress.

kellyisnthere Sat 25-Mar-17 06:53:07

Smile thank you for that reassurance. I feel like I'm constantly on the go but there's no progress.

airforsharon Sat 25-Mar-17 06:53:51

Well firstly balls to your SIL if she is the sort to criticise but not offer to help. Don't worry about her.
I had a 2 yo when dts were born so I understand the mess of which you speak grin And like you I was v tidy before dcs, and wanted to keep that up - the house has never been as tidy as it was before but I've reached a middle ground i'm happy with.
What worked for me was -
A good old fashioned rota, ideally certain things done on certain days - beds changed Monday, bathroom thoroughly cleaned Friday etc. At 15 months your dts will be fine amusing themselves in a safe area for a while as you crack on.
Tidy as you go, especially the kitchen.
Make sure you have enough storage, esp for toys and laundry, to cut down on clutter. Dts can help you tidy their toys away at the end of each day.
I hovered round once a day (dcs and pets so that really was necessary) either when dts were napping or just after their bedtime.
Online shopping saved a huge amount of time and can be done/put away when dcs in bed.
Do you have a DP? He should be helping too.

Devilishpyjamas Sat 25-Mar-17 06:55:11

TBH it sounds as if you care about it more than any visitors. I expect your house is still pretty spotless by most people's standards.

airforsharon Sat 25-Mar-17 06:59:39

Ah crossed posts with you there - tbh it sounds like you're already doing as much as you can. Sometimes being constantly 'on the go' is actually less effective than doing things less frequently but still regularly and more thoroughly, if that makes sense. So don't constantly be jumping up to hoover a few crumbs, just a good go round once a day.

And def echo other posters, really don't worry about what anyone else thinks.

fourteenlittleducks Sat 25-Mar-17 07:09:57

Why are you so upset?

Baby stood on a crispy thing, crumbs on floor, child didn't want to sit amongst the crumbs to roll ball. You know floor wasn't dirty, it just looked that way because of squashed crisp!

Thewolfsjustapuppy Sat 25-Mar-17 07:14:11

Some of these responses are really shock. I wouldn't give a flying fuck if your floor was dirty and remained that way for the next 5 years. Life's too short to be making rotas and worrying about being visitor ready. Before you realise it your twins will be independent, in the mean time enjoy them.
My house is still a tip and my youngest is 7, I work full time and DH hasn't worked out how the hoover works, plenty of people still visit and no one would dare comment.

wowfudge Sat 25-Mar-17 07:15:56

A 7 year old wouldn't notice? My nephew would and he'd be asking if he could get the hoover out and help clean up because he's fascinated by any electrical appliance!

And don't worry about your SIL - she has one to care for and you have twice the work so ignore.

wowfudge Sat 25-Mar-17 07:16:07

A 7 year old wouldn't notice? My nephew would and he'd be asking if he could get the hoover out and help clean up because he's fascinated by any electrical appliance!

And don't worry about your SIL - she has one to care for and you have twice the work so ignore.

LastYearsUsername Sat 25-Mar-17 07:23:51

Have you thought about a session with someone from APDO? (Association of Professional Declutterers and Organisers). They will be able to help you implement some good new ideas and better strategies which might help you to feel calmer for longer the sooner you do it.

NormaSmuff Sat 25-Mar-17 07:25:10

I think you should have offered the 7 year old your hand held cleaner thingy. I bet she would have enjoyed helping

but chill, your twins need love not a clean house

frumpet Sat 25-Mar-17 07:29:36

Last there are people out there who do that for an actual job ? How much do they charge ?

NavyandWhite Sat 25-Mar-17 07:30:32

Does SIL have form for going round gossiping lies? If not I'd say you were a bit presumptuous in your accusation of her!

Thr floor did have crumbs on it though confused the child wasn't lying, just being a bit tactless like kids can be.

Try not to take this to heart.

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