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to still have age restrictions for 18 yo? WRT internet?

(43 Posts)
Everleigh Sat 25-Mar-17 01:28:46

We have restrictions on our wifi (no pornographic material) that's the only thing that's set, everything else there is no restrictions. My mum seems to think I'm being ridiculous and he should be able to make that choice for himself now he is an adult. But then she says she wouldn't have had restrictions on from about 14+ as it's natural hmm so as you can imagine I'm hardly going to be taking her advice.

AIBU?

WeirdAndPissedOff Sat 25-Mar-17 01:31:49

Hmm, YABU to make it an age restriction for an 18 yo. However if you don't want him viewing pornographic material in your house then that's fair enough.

Asmoto Sat 25-Mar-17 01:32:41

I assume you pay for the household broadband? If so, it's up to you what you want to restrict. If you don't want to risk accidentally accessing material you dislike, that's perfectly reasonable.

Everleigh Sat 25-Mar-17 01:33:25

But WeirdAndPissedOff that's why it's restricted - it's restricted in general as neither DH or I watch it so we have it on restricted the whole time. How else are we supposed to make sure he isn't viewing it in our house?

BoomBoomsCousin Sat 25-Mar-17 01:33:27

I think YABU if you have the restriction on for him because you think he's too young. But YANBU if it's a principled stand against pornography use by anyone in the household.

steff13 Sat 25-Mar-17 01:33:43

Well, if it's blocked because you have a moral objection to pornography, I think that's fair enough. If you're only blocking in from him because he's a "child" I think that's a bit unreasonable. He can always pay for his own internet if he doesn't like it.

corythatwas Sat 25-Mar-17 01:48:09

our house?
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BoomBoomsCousin Sat 25-Mar-17 01:33:27
"I think YABU if you have the restriction on for him because you think he's too young. But YANBU if it's a principled stand against pornography use by anyone in the household."

This. I don't want pornography in my house ever. Not what ds is 18, not when he is 48. And that is my prerogative, to decide about my house. My right to decide about my son otoh ends when he turns 18.

peachgreen Sat 25-Mar-17 01:48:11

I am massively morally opposed to porn and think it's hugely damaging for a relationship but I have to say, I think banning / restricting it is a bad idea. Instead I'd be teaching my son about the differences between porn and sex, explaining the impact it could have on a relationship and then letting him make his own choices either way. I'd probably also explain the differences between porn made by willing participants (Abby Winters etc) and porn that exploits vulnerable people. Banning it turns it into something tempting and illicit when in actual fact it's mostly just a bit seedy and pathetic.

Asmoto Sat 25-Mar-17 01:51:55

I'm not at all opposed to porn, but I think the OP has an absolute right to decide what happens in her house using a service she pays for.

SpreadYourHappiness Sat 25-Mar-17 01:53:08

YABU. If he wants to look at porn, he should be able to. He's a grown adult; it's nothing to do with you.

neonrainbow Sat 25-Mar-17 02:00:03

You pay for the Internet you can put whatever restriction you want. He's probably watching it on his phone anyway.

MakeItStopNeville Sat 25-Mar-17 02:07:19

Has your son complained he can't access porn? I'm confused...

Asmoto Sat 25-Mar-17 02:10:55

It seems to be the OP's mum who's objecting, Neville. It would be interesting to know whether the son has raised a complaint - would the average 18 year old bring up something like that with his mum?

musicposy Sat 25-Mar-17 02:11:18

No, I have parental controls on for porn. Our DCs are 21 and 17. Outside of the house they can do whatever they want but as I see it, I'm paying for the broadband service so I say what gets viewed through it.

The controls apply equally to all of us, myself and DH included. DH is on board with it. It can be frustrating at times - I was once banned from reading washing machine reviews! I don't try overriding it, though, even though I have the password. If I expect the DCs to put up with it I feel I need to myself.

Keeping them on is nothing to do with thinking the DCs are still children and everything to do with not wanting my money to feed into the porn industry in any way. DC1 lives away from home in term time and what happens there is not my business. At home, it is. YANBU.

GoodnightSeattle Sat 25-Mar-17 02:12:59

It would be massively unreasonable and really bloody weird if you purposely removed this block for the sole purpose of your sons sexual gratification.

And your DM is ignorant of technology in this day and age and, quite frankly, the tenacity of a teenager who wants to see some boobs. If he likes that sort of stuff he will certainly already have access to it with or without your internet!

Everleigh Sat 25-Mar-17 02:15:16

Gosh no, my son has never mentioned it to me.

shyturnip Sat 25-Mar-17 02:17:02

Bloody weird of your mum if you ask me

Asmoto Sat 25-Mar-17 02:22:01

If your son hasn't mentioned it, he's presumably happy with or at least accepting of the status quo. If all is harmonious in your house, your mum simply needs to stop intruding on the way you manage things - it's working fine without her "help".

FreeNiki Sat 25-Mar-17 02:52:21

Instead I'd be teaching my son about the differences between porn and sex, explaining the impact it could have on a relationship and then letting him make his own choices either way.

An 18 yo is just dying to discuss this with their mum.

Unpropergrammer Sat 25-Mar-17 04:00:11

I think you are incredibly naive to believe that even the strictest family filters block our porngraphic material.

From working with teenagers personally, I can tell you 9/10 they are accessing some form of pornography online despite filters put in place.

MarsInScorpio Sat 25-Mar-17 04:04:42

If you think an 18 year old boy hasn't very easily circumvented your 'restrictions' then you're sadly mistaken.

Whatever you'd like to believe, he'll be in a tiny minority of teenage boys who aren't masturbating furiously at every opportunity.

I would leave the restriction in place because that's up to you although I think such a restriction is a waste of time.

blubberball Sat 25-Mar-17 05:26:00

If he wants to move out, and pay for his own internet, then he is free to watch porn to his hearts content. If it makes you feel better to have the filters on in your own house, then that is no body else's business.

StudentMum92 Sat 25-Mar-17 06:09:11

If he wants to watch porn he will, there are ways around it.

WizardOfToss Sat 25-Mar-17 06:38:25

I don't understand. How has this become a topic of conversation between you and your mother? She's encouraging you to allow access to porn in your house for the sake of your son?

FWIW, I think your restrictions on your broadband in your house are entirely your business, whatever the age of your son..

harderandharder2breathe Sat 25-Mar-17 06:51:30

Your mothers interest in your 18 your old watching porn or not is bizarre

Yanbu for restricting porn on internet you pay for. Even though he'll find ways around it if he really wants to.

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