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"She looks like a tom boy to me!"

(46 Posts)
Saltedcaramellove Fri 24-Mar-17 21:44:30

Literally gave birth to our second daughter a few days ago. We have no boys so just our two girls. DMIL (who only has boys) told me that she only wanted sons when we were chatting a while back. Then she told me she thought I was having a boy (we didn't find out the sex). When we sent her a pic of DD once she was born, her reply was that she "looked like a tom boy"! How can a newborn look like a tom boy? It makes me feel as though they haven't got the grandson they were most probably hoping for angry

Bettyandtheboy Fri 24-Mar-17 21:47:47

Just ignore them. My DM tells me every time she sees our 6 month that 'She looks like she's gonna be trouble'!
Why? Because eating your fist and dribbling is the sign of impending drug addiction? Twat!

VestalVirgin Fri 24-Mar-17 21:48:27


She sounds bonkers.

Make sure to not expose your DD to your in-laws too much. I think you are spot on about them wanting a grandson. This kind of sexism is something best kept away from a female baby, toddler and young child until she's old enough to tell them they're bonkers.

OffRoader Fri 24-Mar-17 21:49:10

Sounds like she's making a joke out of being wrong about the sex.

But you've just given birth and everything everyone says is allowed to piss you off grin

Congratulations flowers

zozozoo Fri 24-Mar-17 21:49:27

Diddums to them. Enjoy your girls girly ones or otherwise

Blossomdeary Fri 24-Mar-17 21:51:25

Well that is tough shit for them!

I had 3 girls and got so sick of it when people commiserated with me - especially over the last one. I will admit to being quite rude to one person - I yanked back the pram cover and said "How dare you say you are sorry that I have this perfect baby!"

Some people are weird beyond your wildest imagination! - so sorry that your MIL falls into that category!

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 Fri 24-Mar-17 21:51:47

Sounds like she is envious you got 2 dds and she didn't. .
Congratulations!! - bet she is a cutie!

Saltedcaramellove Fri 24-Mar-17 21:53:43

Urghhh it's infuriating!!!!!

Definitely not said in jest offroader, it's been repeated since along with "I could be wrong but I really really think she looks like a tomboy" angry

So happy with my little bundle of joy though! Hormones are raging though so I just need to vent! I CANT BELIEVE THE LABELLING HAS BEGUN ALREADY!!! angry

Sorry, felt the need for capitals! Lol.

ChasedByBees Fri 24-Mar-17 22:09:09

Have you pulled her up on it? Can't you tell her not to be ridiculous?

DartmoorDoughnut Fri 24-Mar-17 22:11:53

Whilst you can still get away with it - having just given birth n all! - snap back "STOP LABELLING MY CHILDREN!!!!!!"

DonaldStott Fri 24-Mar-17 22:13:19

Omg. That is seriously the most bonkers thing I have heard.

WTF. A newborn baby looks like a tomboy!!!

It's so fucking bizarre, you just need to laugh at it.

Bluntness100 Fri 24-Mar-17 22:13:43

Nice granny. Sigh, I agree a baby can't look like a tomboy. That's just ridiculous.

Saltedcaramellove Fri 24-Mar-17 22:14:34

She's not met her in person yet but I'm going to pull her up. It's not on. The worst thing is I find myself hoping that i don't have a boy now because I don't want to have a son who becomes favourite and my daughters get pushed out! It's not on!

Saltedcaramellove Fri 24-Mar-17 22:15:55

Please don't grill me for saying I wouldn't want a son, of course I would love any children and he equally delighted to have a boy and I wouldn't allow her to taint that but in my hormonal state, that's how I feel at this moment.

Saltedcaramellove Fri 24-Mar-17 22:16:14


CointreauVersial Fri 24-Mar-17 22:16:14

Ignore, ignore, ignore......

RosyGold Fri 24-Mar-17 22:17:00

She's DEFINITELY jealous that you have two girls and she didn't get one! My girl is nearly 16 months and still has barely any hair, I dress her to look on-trend and chic (no frilly bonnets or dresses) and people comment that she "looks like a boy" well FUCK your opinions she is a beautiful loving sweet girl regardless of the lack of hair or "girly" clothes! A baby is a baby. How can a newborn LOOK like a boy or a girl - the comments you have received are just spiteful and pure jealousy in my mind!!

Waddlelikeapenguin Fri 24-Mar-17 22:23:17


When my DH phoned to let his parents know our first was skin side he cried BECAUSE HE WAS HAPPY - FIL asked if it was because he was disappointed that baby was a girl hmm & then has spent his first 15 mins with each of our children describing just how tiny & perfect their cousin was

Congratulationsflowers (on baby NOT on MIL wink)

seven201 Fri 24-Mar-17 22:24:26

She's bonkers. Enjoy your new baby flowers

MiddlingMum Fri 24-Mar-17 22:31:23

Ignore her, or come up with a couple of hormonal retorts. When someone said that my newborn DD looked like a boy, I just said that personally I thought she was beautiful. It shut them up effectively.

Your DD will be totally gorgeous, congratulations flowers

vaginasuprise Fri 24-Mar-17 22:40:28

She's not jealous and pp saying so are just as bad as she's supposed to be.

It was a feeble attempt at humour given she had used her prophetic powers and got it wrong. Op is allowed to be extra sensitive but to those knocking boys only families....
babies are a joy regardless of their sex.

MrsChopper Fri 24-Mar-17 22:41:00

She didn't get the grandson she wanted, so your DD is a "tomboy" hmm i would pull her up on it asap before this 'label' sticks.

Congratulations on your new baby flowers

Saltedcaramellove Fri 24-Mar-17 22:44:20

vagina I've known her a decade. Trust me, it wasn't a joke in any way, shape or form.

EweAreHere Fri 24-Mar-17 22:44:22

She's a lovely girl.

Have your Dh pull her up on it and make the comments stop.

WhiteCaribou Fri 24-Mar-17 22:49:50

Tell her she looks like a kind and thoughtful person so it just shows how looks can be deceiving! Ok not really ...

People are weird, I can remember taking my daughter out dressed head to toe in pink with lovely curly hair and being congratulated on my lovely little boy. A newborn looks like a baby, usually not particularly either sex until they are a bit older, she's just being spiteful because she has the weird and very old fashioned idea that somehow male offspring are more desirable than female.

I'm sure the sensible thing to do is to ignore it but I'd have to call her on it, nasty woman.

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