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AIBU?

Getting married next week and I'm so nervous il faint?!

25 replies

StandardNameHere · 24/03/2017 19:08

I have been with partner for 3 years and very much want to be his wife but I'm not looking forward to the day as I'm so scared that I'm going to faint in front of everyone!
Sounds insane but it's all I can think about. I don't have any health conditions but there have been a few occasions where I have fainted when stood up for a while (nerves, being hot helped) so now it's all I can think about.
I feel sick just thinking about how I'm going to stand still in front of everyone for 20 minutes without fainting.
I know it's ridiculous but what can I do? I'm ruining my own wedding.
I'm not close to my family so it's not like they will be calming me down in the morning.
AIBU to think it's going to happen

OP posts:
Whatsername17 · 24/03/2017 19:11

I wore a veil over my face because I couldn't stand the idea of people looking at me. The only thing I can say is that you will concentrate so hard on the words you will forget everything else! X

ProudBadMum · 24/03/2017 19:11

Are you absolutely sure you want to marry him?

Have a shot or 2 before you walk down the aisle Grin

miserablemolly · 24/03/2017 19:12

Most of the weddings I've been to the bride and groom actually sit down for most of it. And that's a mixture of church/hotel/beach weddings: could you sit??

StandardNameHere · 24/03/2017 19:15

Being married to him not the issue, if it was the simple answer would be to sack off the wedding lol.
It's the thought of standing there, stil, all eyes on me and not being able to sit down if I need to.
Makes my legs weak just thinking of the situation.
I think a shot of something might have to be the answer. Can a pint be classed as a shot 😂

OP posts:
StandardNameHere · 24/03/2017 19:16

It's a hotel wedding.
I didn't know that sitting down was an option? All the ones I've been to have been stood throughout 😱

OP posts:
JassyRadlett · 24/03/2017 19:18

Wriggle your toes and do tiny knee bends - it will help!

Moltenpink · 24/03/2017 19:18

Just make sure you are standing in front of a chair. I felt the same, but I was fine on the day.

I'm sure you could sit down if you wanted though?

Ice3 · 24/03/2017 19:20

Apparently people faint when stood up for a long time because they lock their knees so keep your knees relaxed.

I was so focused on saying the right words (and not laughing) I couldn't think about anything else.

SloanePeterson · 24/03/2017 19:23

We got married on the hottest day of the year and my dress was laced very tight! I was shaking like a leaf before walking in but I didn't faint. Once I'd walked down the aisle I couldn't have cared less about who was sat looking at me, it was just me and dh (and the vicar!) who even registered with me. I didn't even notice our photographer milling around next to us.

19lottie82 · 24/03/2017 19:27

I wasn't nervous at all until the actual day of my wedding then I was such a mess I was on the toilet all morning with an upset stomach Confused best advice I can give you is dutch courage !!!

Boffered1 · 24/03/2017 19:33

I used to faint quite a lot when I stood too long and was really worried about this on the run up to our wedding. On the day though excitement took over and it never crossed my mind. JassyRadletts advice on toe wiggling really does help.

bettybyebye · 24/03/2017 19:49

As someone who did actually faint during her wedding I would strongly advise you to eat a decent breakfast!

Try not to worry about fainting, but you know what? Even if it happens, it's not the end of the world - it was quite the talking point at our wedding, especially as the priest carried on with the ceremony whilst I was lying on the floor of the church porch!

maddiemookins16mum · 24/03/2017 19:53

Adrenalin will kick in. You won't faint. Please eat breakfast. Even just yoghurt and banana. YOU WILL BE FINE.
Enjoy your day.

maddiemookins16mum · 24/03/2017 19:58

Oh and if you are really worried, put plans in action. Have a bottle of water nearby, have a chair nearby, have a code word with someone ( chief bridesmaid etc), so if you start feeling funny, you can say 'code Hobnob", they can then ensure you sit down, take a swig of water etc.
Knowing you have "emergency plans" in place will take a lot of the stress away. It's the worry of what could happen, have plans for what might (but probably wont) happen.

KC225 · 24/03/2017 20:00

I eloped to Las Vegas with three friends tp be witnesses. I remember being so nervous and scared I was dry retching in my frock. My friend saying 'what is it, don't you think he will turn up' but it wasn't that. I wanted to be married but not go through the wedding process.

Anyway , I did. We have been married 11 years. You will be fine. Look onto the chairs idea. Good luck Op.

Munchkin1412 · 24/03/2017 20:00

Gosh I don't think this is weird. One of the reasons I've not got married (among others!) is that I'm scared of having a panic attack with everyone looking at me. I would have some champagne before just to get through it. Good luck (it won't happen, you'll be fine!)

Lovetolaugh123 · 24/03/2017 22:39

I was really scared this would happen to me on my wedding day, as I've fainted before when I've felt nervous & had to stand up for a while. But on the big day the excitement & adrenaline kicked in & I didn't even think about fainting, I just forgot to worry about it! The ceremony ended up being my favourite part of the whole day!

welshmist · 24/03/2017 22:43

On the day before we left for the church my Father poured two brandies for us to drink. I am not sure who was more nervous, we both sailed through it in the end not sure if it was the brandy or just the fact that I forgot everyone around me.

Edsheeranalbumparty · 24/03/2017 22:46

I totally feel your pain. One of the reasons i had a tiny wedding was because i just didn't think I would get through a whole wedding with everyone watching without passing out.

Kalms or Rescue Remedy might help.

Also agree with the PP who said about the 'emergency plan'. If you have an exact plan of what to do if you do feel faint then it will calm you down enough that you will probably be fine.

One of the triggers for my feeling faint (i guess its a type of panic attack really) is being in a situation that i cant get out of easily, so i know exactly how you feel. All the best for your wedding, I'm sure you will have a fantastic day!

Sunnysky2016 · 24/03/2017 22:49

Good breakfast and breath. Congratulations by the way

PerspicaciaTick · 24/03/2017 22:52

You won't be standing for 20 minutes. You'll stand for about 10 minutes, then sit down to sign the register, then stand for a couple of minutes before leaving.

If you have chosen long readings, then maybe ask the venue to provide a couple of spare seats (if there is room) for you to sit during the readings.

It will be over before you know it and I'm sure you will be fine, just make sure you eat, don't get drunk and don't lace your corset too tight.

MrsPringles · 24/03/2017 22:52

I got married in December. When I got to the end of the aisle, my legs were shaking so a bad Confused but after a couple of minutes I was absolutely fine and it continued into the best day of my life!

You'll be ok OP, I promise. Good luck x

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Dontstopmovin · 25/03/2017 00:41

Aw OP, I was so anxious and worked up worrying about this happening to me on my wedding day but I was absolutely fine in the end! I'm sure you will be absolutely fine when it comes to it too, but you can also reassure yourself that even if it did happen, so what, you're surrounded by family and friends who care about you and would look after you. I know it's easier said that done but try to get your head to understand that the stress it's giving you worrying about something that might happen is actually worse than the stress you'd have if it did happen Flowers

kel1493 · 25/03/2017 22:19

I got married nearly 2 years ago. Amazingly I felt fine all morning (wedding was 3pm in a registry office). I was 4.5 months pregnant as well which meant I couldn't even have a stiff drink beforehand.
I felt fine all morning as I said. Got up, had my tea and sat there like it was any other day. Even getting ready and on my way I was fine.
We chose to have a very traditional wedding, including not seeing each other beforehand, and htb not turning round and watching me walk down the aisle. I was in a small room next to our ceremony room to finalise details with the registrar and I still felt okay. It wasn't until I was standing outside with my dad, bridesmaid and my brother and sister (ring bearer and flower girl), that the nerves hit me.
I hate everyone looking at me, (and I had my princess dress - ballgown with long train and long 2 tier veil over my face). But I remembered what the lady in the bridal salon said to me at my final fitting "it's your moment, take it, enjoy it, hold your head up high, as you won't get it again".
I tried to block out everyone looking at me, I gave the off glance each way to show willing, but I mostly focused on the man I loved standing proudly waiting for me, wanting to turn around so badly (but he didn't). I found that helped.
Also we stood for the whole time except signing the register.
I think most brides are nervous, it's natural. I'm sure your groom will be just as nervous as you (my dh told me on the way to our reception he was pacing up and down he was so nervous).
Good luck

specialsubject · 25/03/2017 22:29

If too late to turn down the size of the wedding - make sure outfit fits properly, not tight , corset, too heavy or similar 18th century nonsense. Hopefully room wont be too stuffy.

The wedding ceremony is a bit cringy, but if you can keep a straight face at all the mushiness I do recommend marriage. ☺

Best wishes to you both.

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