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Mother's day, lunch with friends

(66 Posts)
SEsofty Fri 24-Mar-17 12:49:20

So it's another mother's day one. I know it doesn't mean anything to loads of people but it does to me.

So aibu to be annoyed with dh, and if not, how do I stop myself being cross.

So, dh had been trying to arrange to see friends of his for lunch for weeks and weeks. Last night he announced that we were going to there for lunch on Sunday. He'd checked the calendar and we had nothing on.

Surprised, I said but it's mother's day.

He then says he'll check with his friend in case his wife didn't want to do it. He checked and they are looking forward to having us for lunch.

I feel put out and annoyed as really wanted a fuss made, and I can't complain as they have said it was fine.

It's really pathetic but I feel really upset. Probably because I thought he realised that mother's day is really important to me.

sillygoof Fri 24-Mar-17 12:51:11

Is it your first Mother's Day? If not, what have you done in previous years?

TheNaze73 Fri 24-Mar-17 12:51:39

If it's important to you, then YANBU. Everyone will have different thoughts on this

SparkleTwinkleGoldGlitter Fri 24-Mar-17 12:52:43

So your still be going for a lunch out on Mother's Day?

Is cards from your dc in the morning and lunch out not a fuss?

blueskyinmarch Fri 24-Mar-17 12:52:50

It sounds bloody excellent to me. You get a lovely lunch which you don’t have to prepare and can still spend time wth your family. What age are your DC and what sort of fuss did you want? I find that after the cards/gifts/tea in bed the DC drift off and do their own thing anyway. Once you come home you can put your feet up and have a G&T or whatever your thing is. Sounds perfect.

PopCakes Fri 24-Mar-17 12:53:26

If it's important to you and he knows that YANBU to be annoyed. It does sound like it could have been an honest mistake though so don't be a martyr just tell him calmly that you're disappointed because you wanted a bit of fuss for mothers day. I'm sure you could still fit in a nice breakfast in bed or something.

FilledSoda Fri 24-Mar-17 12:55:20

Do the hosts have children?

Pinkheart5915 Fri 24-Mar-17 12:55:46

So you could have cards/cuddles etc with your dc with breakfast, a nice lunch out with friends that will all be nicely cooked for you, then you have the rest of the afternoon/evening to do as you wish? Sounds lovely to me

Is that not a fuss? What did you want?

ScarlettFreestone Fri 24-Mar-17 12:56:53

I understand that you are a bit peeved but can they not make a fuss if you in the morning with breakfast in bed etc, choice of activity after lunch is over?

I actually think it's quite a nice way to spend Mother's Day but then I have spent every Mother's Day cooking and cleaning for other people, except one which caused a huge ruckus.

Dontactlikeyouknowme Fri 24-Mar-17 12:58:38

It sounds like a lovely way to spend mothers day to me.

SEsofty Fri 24-Mar-17 13:00:39

I think that the main thing is that they are his friends. And although they are fine it will be polite chit chat etc

I know that I am being petty

HelenaGWells Fri 24-Mar-17 13:07:18

To be honest this is the bit that gets me:

Surprised, I said but it's mother's day. He then says he'll check with his friend in case his wife didn't want to do it.

How about asking his own wife? It's a courtesy surely?

You need to tell him though. If you want a fuss you need to be explicit. Most men don't do hints so you need to say "I would like x on Sunday" A lot of women don't care about Mother's Day. If you do you need to make sure he KNOWS that you do.

PinkFlamingo545 Fri 24-Mar-17 13:07:44

I think you are letting Clintons Cards rule your mood

Smidge001 Fri 24-Mar-17 13:17:16

I find all the Mother's Day stuff being about 'me' is really odd. To me, Mother's Day is important for me to spend with MY mother, not as a mother myself. It may be important to your own children to a lesser extent (depending on their age I mean) but once they've done their bit, given cards/breakfast in bed etc, the important thing to me is always about treating my own mother. Whenever she is gone, I would expect it to be time I'd want specifically to remember her.

Just find it odd so many other women think of it as about them! Expecting their other halves to spoil them - you're not their mother, they should be out doing something with their own mum!

Just my view obviously, but surely someone else thinks that way too?

Northend77 Fri 24-Mar-17 13:21:33

What have you done on previous years?
Does your DH actually KNOW you like to have a fuss made on Mother's Day?
Has he booked anywhere as I think you'll struggle to find a table at many restaurants on the off chance on Sunday

ProseccoBitch Fri 24-Mar-17 13:26:47

You haven't mentioned either your children or your mother which is what I don't understand. Do you mean you wanted to make a fuss of your own Mum or you wanted your children to make a fuss of you? If there's anything you should be annoyed at your DH about it's that he's not doing something for his own Mum on the day really, I can't really understand what he's done wrong. Or did you expect him to 'spoil' you all day even though you're his wife, not his mother?

SparkleTwinkleGoldGlitter Fri 24-Mar-17 13:27:53

How old are your children? What fuss do you want them to make or is it dh you want to make a fuss of you?

What do you normally do?

MrsJayy Fri 24-Mar-17 13:29:14

Sounds nice lunch out i know it isn't what you wanted to do but what do you want to do ?

stoopido Fri 24-Mar-17 13:29:19

I think you are letting Clintons Cards rule your mood

^^This^^^^^

MrsJayy Fri 24-Mar-17 13:31:26

Btw you don't sound pathetic card shops didn't invent mothers day

Tissunnyupnorth Fri 24-Mar-17 13:33:59

Agree totally smidge001. For me it's about my mother, who died recently and so I will spend time thinking of our goid times. For my DC, it will be about bringing me & card and cup of tea in bed.

It has little to do with my DH, I hope he is thinking about how to make his own mother feel special.

I just don't get the me, me, me.

GabsAlot Fri 24-Mar-17 13:40:01

who invented mothers day then?

yanbu but it isnt a religious thing dont look too much into it

CheeseCakeSunflowers Fri 24-Mar-17 13:40:02

Its not Mothers Day on Sunday, that's an American tradition celebrated later in the year. This Sunday is Mothering Sunday, a traditional UK celebration where children who have moved away from home visit their Mothers. If you were intending to visit your Mother on Sunday then fair enough. As others have said its the commercial/Clinton's cards affect which has confused the two.

SEsofty Fri 24-Mar-17 13:41:11

I think that it's not unusual for someone to think that mother's day is a good opportunity to show that you appreciate everything that your wife does as a mother and the huge amount of work that looking after small children involves.

The children will make a fuss and I am really looking forward to it but I don't think that it is that werid to want my husband to think about me too.

He knows that this is important to me, as we talked about it last year. Just annoyed that I should have to have the same conversation again.

But clearly aibu and need to just let it go.

And yes I, and the children, make a massive fuss of him on father's day

Veterinari Fri 24-Mar-17 13:42:12

I'm confused as to why your DH should be making a fuss of you on Mother's Day - shouldn't he be fussing his mother rather than his wife?

What about your DC and DM?

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