Shouty horse rider!(160 Posts)
We live in quite a rural area, our boundary fence backs onto a large playing field. We have people parking up with horse boxes alongside the boundary fence quite regularly.
I was playing with DD (1) in our garden this morning, she was just pottering in her Wendy house, not making much noise at all just happily babbling and I was talking back to her.
I then hear a woman trying to get her horse into the horse box and the horse is having none of it, stamping its feet and rearing up.
Next thing I can hear a woman telling me to shut my daughter up, shes scaring her horse.
Was I unreasonable in thinking that a horse should be able to cope with a baby babbling especially if she is riding it along country lanes ! I refused to tell DD to be quiet or to go inside as surely we aren't being unreasonable playing in our own garden !
I have no clue about horses so second guessing whether I was rude, plus we are fairly new to the area and everyone knows each other.
I don't know whether this face is appropriate or this one .
She had a nerve. I'm related to many horsey people, so I say this with the exception of my nearest and dearest, but I do find horse people can be very entitled.
YANBU. I have horses and I wouldn't ever be so rude. It can be bloody frustrating if you can't box your horse, but that is her problem, not yours. If she really needed your DD to be quiet for a few minutes she could have asked as a favour kindly and politely.
The other day I was slowing down to a crawl in my car when I saw two horses coming towards me. As they got alongside, one woman gestured to me to put my window down which I did, she told me to turn my engine off and told me to stop my dogs in the back of the car barking until they had gone past!
Yuck. Most Horsey people are awful people so definitely YANBU.
A woman on a horse told me my umbrella was making her horse nervous and that umbrellas should be banned. At least, this is what I think she shouted, it was raining quite hard at the time! I was walking along a road, not on a bridle path, btw. Is it possible to train or encourage horses not to mind umbrellas?
It's your garden. Your baby can babble all she wants.
Yes, I think if she had called over the fence with a polite request that's different to the way she did it.
Yeaaahhh as a horse rider the box is scaring the horse not your child (unless it was high pitched squealing then I can understand it stressing the horse out) sounds like she hasn't exposed her horse to children or horse boxes enough to get the horse used to them and she's taking it out on you.
I can understand it's frustrating, but the shoutier she gets the more the horse will pick upon it and get stressed.
But if she asked you (albeit in a very rude way) I would have obliged while she tried to box. Same if a dog owner yelled "put that f***ing dog on a lead" because their dog wasn't friendly. It's rude but I'd still oblige as it's a safety issue.
Happy - really thanks! We are just normal people honestly
I'm a horse rider & have my own horse & it sounds like this lady is the sort who give us all a bad name.
Her horse wouldn't load, she lost her rag & took it out on you, unfortunately. If (& I very much doubt it) it was your baby spooking the horse, the reasonable thing to do would be to ask you ever so politely, if you wouldn't mind taking her in while she loaded.
Did she manage eventually?
I don't think you're unreasonable.
I was walking my dog, on his lead, on a pavement (a quiet road, on our way to some open fields) when a horse rider shouted at me to hide behind a bush as her horse was scared of my dog. The verge was full of stinging nettles and a muddy ditch so I refused. She got very shirty
Most Horsey people are awful people ?
Loading a reluctant horse (esp on a road) can be stressful. But it's no excuse. That woman was downright rude.
Blue yes you can to some extent, but with most horses it's down to personality. Some are nervous sorts and see monsters everywhere whilst others are fearless and couldn't care less about things like umbrellas / funny coloured leaves / white lines in the road...
Again, she sounds rude though. I think of someone is doing something that might freak out your horse, then it's fine to ask them to stop whilst you go pad as long as you are polite.
Sadly, not everyone is polite, hence some of the comments on here.
Happyandhungry there are hideous horsey people and lovely horsey people; just as in every walk of life!
Agree op that that lady sounded v rude. It is stressful trying to load a rearing horse on your own; if she needed complete quiet she should have asked politely (and with an apology for disturbing you in your own garden).
Yes you can train horses to accept umbrellas ect but it takes a lot of training. It's a bit like plastic bags. Being prey animals horses like to spook at a LOT of stuff and when you're 7 feet off the ground it can be terrifying!! You could train your horse to accept umbrellas and then see one out in the field as such and because it's a different environment or even a different colour the horse still panics.
As for the car slowing down and stopping. She asked? What's the problem? Could you have a noisy car? I rode a horse that had been hit by a removal lorry before, she was fine with any other vehicle but as soon as she saw a removal lorry that was it she was gone, it could be as simple as having someone in the same car as you race past them before and scare the horse so she's taking precautions. Nothing to be upset about. As for your dogs in the back, isnt it distracting having your dogs bark as you drive?? Or was it just because there was a horse there and they were excited?? Again, dogs are predators and horses are prey, they're going to be scared by barking dogs.
A woman on a horse told me my umbrella was making her horse nervous
Exactly the same thing happened to me. I put the umbrella down - she asked nicely and I had no wish to see anyone come to harm, not least myself - but I did think that maybe she and her pet should move somewhere it doesn't rain as much as it does in Britain.
What WitTank said!
It can be VERY stressful for riders and handlers when horses misbehave or are scared - especially on the road. But the vast majority of us are thoroughly reasonable people and not "awful".
Most Horsey people are awful people
Nope. Round here, horse riders wave and shout 'Thanks!' to riders who slow for them, and sidestep their horses into verges to let cyclists pass safely. Last week two riders saw me battling my neighbour's (horse-nervous, barking) rescue dog, and called over to ask if they could help by slowly bringing the horse over and offering treats from the saddle. They were utterly understanding and lovely, and impressively in command of something about the size of an elephant.
Hmm, think I meant 'drivers who slow for them'
It was an order Meek, rather than a polite request. I don't appreciate being barked orders at. She had horses on a road. I had a car on a road. And I was already crawling along very slowly for her benefit. So not a problem no, but I think she should have been more considerate and the type who gives horse people a bad name.
I think most people will be willing to help out or do you a favour if you ask nicely enough. How hard is it to say 'I'm afraid my horse is being really silly and I wondered if I could please ask you a favour and see if being really quiet would make a difference? I'm sorry to ask, I hope you don't mind'. Manners cost nothing.
Hope I'm not in the awful horsey person section
Pleased I haven't broken some kind of horse code!
She did get the horse in eventually. I think she was more embarrassed she was struggling to get the horse into the box, then noticed she could hear us in the garden and blamed that.
Because DD wasn't making any high pitched noises
she's actually got a really gruff little voice.
I'm pretty sure it's the same woman we've waved to, as DD loves the horses, and she's ignored us. Most people on horses wave and a few stop and let DD see the horse.
There are some funny folk round here. I really don't fit it, so thought that might of clouded my judgement a little.
I have shouted (not aggressively but because normal speech wouldn't be heard) into a garden just to ask the kids to hang on kicking a ball against the wall until we were past. They did and no problem
You can ask but be polite about it!
And if she had asked nicely I would of done my best to help.
If I'm honest though terrible 2s seem to of started early and bringing her inside would of resulted in lots of noisy tears !! How do you reason with a head strong 1 year old ?!
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