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Correct time to text someone

(254 Posts)
mummy2oneandtwo Fri 24-Mar-17 09:40:00

So last Saturday I text my friend at around 7am...I was up with my 2 young boys and it was the Next sale, which she usually goes to, so I was asking if she was going. She text back saying I text her too early and wake her up....

I said I was sorry but asked why does she not have her phone on silent at night to avoid this. She said it's on silent but vibrate. We left it at that.

This morning I took a snapchat video of my boys playing on the bed and sent it to a bunch of friends. It was about 7:20. She has now put her profile picture as a black screen saying "no snapchats before 8am" with an angry face....I am in shock at how laughable this is!!

Firstly it's a weekday and she has 2 young children, 1 school age, so would assume she was up, but also Snapchat doesn't send noise alerts from what I know, and also pretty passive aggressive!

I took on board not messaging before 8 on a weekend but didn't think about a snapchat at 7:20 on a weekday.

When her kids were little she would message at all random times of night...I had no problem with this...my phone just goes on silent when I sleep.

AIBU to think this is a bit of a crazy thing to have an issue with? Do I message and apologies or just ignore the not so subtle message directed at me?

EdithWeston Fri 24-Mar-17 09:45:14

yes, I think that's early. and she certainly does - as she's told you.

I thought notifications (sounds/vibrations) were set on the device according to what the perseon needs/wants.

So if there are people who she may need to wake for, then they'll be left on - and that's up to her, not, you to decide.

I try to make all calls between 9am-9pm, unless there is a particular reason to do otherwise. 7:20 would be early for me too for just sharing a vid.

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 Fri 24-Mar-17 09:47:16

First thing on a morning most people are busy dealing with the goings on in their own home to be interested in texts /snap chats etc I would imagine!!

CatsRidingRollercoasters Fri 24-Mar-17 09:49:52

It's too early and yabu. Personally I would be up, but she's told you it's too early for her. Why is it your business to question that?

I leave my phone on vibrate overnight so that friends and family can still get hold of me in an emergency. We don't have a landline.

Mulberry72 Fri 24-Mar-17 09:50:53

If she has an IPhone then she can use the Do Not Disturb setting, I have it set for between 9pm - 7.45am, so any texts, WhatsApp messages arrive but I don't get the beep to announce its arrival. I have 4 numbers (immediate family) that I will receive calls from, anything else just goes right to answerphone.

I did this because I was fed up with early messages/calls.

Universitychallenging Fri 24-Mar-17 09:50:55

Too early for sure.

CatsRidingRollercoasters Fri 24-Mar-17 09:52:07

And yes, as a pp said, at that time in the morning most of us are far too busy with kids, breakfast, commute etc to be checking and responding to snapchat! whatever that is

Universitychallenging Fri 24-Mar-17 09:52:24

Sorry. Posted too soon.

Even when mine were young and I was getting them out to school we didn't get up until 7.45.

7am on a Saturday is far far too early. You could have asked the day before.

FumBluff1 Fri 24-Mar-17 09:55:07

I would find it weird. I don't see why she can't leave phone on silent, or away from her bedside. And she is being very passive aggressive putting it on FB - how childish!

I'd just stop texting her if it were me but then I can be quite petty!

HermioneJeanGranger Fri 24-Mar-17 09:56:37

People need to put their phones on silent if they don't want to be woken up.

user1486562272 Fri 24-Mar-17 09:56:38

My phone stays downstairs off or on silent at night. In emergencies family can use the landline.

Even when I am awake in the mornings I'd find snapchats or random unimportant texts annoying until I've got all the busy "morning stuff" out of the way and everything is calm.

I leave texting to later, 9.30am until 9pm.

floraeasy Fri 24-Mar-17 09:57:00

She should set her phone to Do Not Disturb and switch off vibrate.

You never know when you'll get a message - my service provider O2 are always texting me promotion stuff for instance.

Also, I have email notifications on my iPhone and family on the other side of the world. I could receive an email at 3am my time.

It's her responsibility to turn her phone off. She's also a bit cheeky if she used to send you stuff all through the night herself!

DoIDareDisturbTheUniverse Fri 24-Mar-17 09:58:47

YANBU and I never understand why other people get upset about this. Just turn your phone off, ffs. I keep mine on silent all the time and return texts/calls in my own time.

mummy2oneandtwo Fri 24-Mar-17 09:59:11

Thanks for the feedback, it will help when I talk to her later.

Totally agree about it being a time when we are all busy. It's just the sort of friends we are, she sends me random videos of her cooking dinner, going out for dessert, quite often I don't watch these until the next morning, so it's not like I expected a response from her, we just send snap shots of our lives to each other.

I'll be sure to be more careful when contacting her.

I have also asked my other friends I sent it to if they were ok with the time, they were, said it's nice to wake up to, so it really does depend on the individual.

Thanks again!

TheDowagerCuntess Fri 24-Mar-17 09:59:25

She's being ridiculous. If she doesn't want to receive notifications before a certain time, then the power lies with her.

If I were you, I wouldn't be contacting her anymore at all <deeply petty> but seriously, what a bore. confused

Allthebestnamesareused Fri 24-Mar-17 10:01:27

Personally do it when you want and when its convenient for you. If I text at unsociable hours I don't expect a reply but I feel better knowing I have sent whatever it was I needed to inform someone or ask them? They can then reply at their convenience.

More fool them if they don't switch phones off/to silent or non-vibrate. surely they get pesky sales stuff as they seem to come through overnight anyway.

Universitychallenging Fri 24-Mar-17 10:01:33

Did she tell you not to message before 8?

GoodyGoodyGumdrops Fri 24-Mar-17 10:02:07

What's the big deal? No-one has to respond to a text straight away.

I pick my phone up, it shows me who has texted/messaged/Whatsapped/whatevered me since I last looked, and I choose there and then whether to actually view the post or ignore it until I'm ready to respond. Whether it's midnight, midday, or anywhen in between.

Phone is on silent overnight. Text or data me whenever you want. Just don't expect an instant reply.

StillaChocoholic Fri 24-Mar-17 10:03:53

I think you might be messaging a bit early but if I get woken up by a message I tend to have a quick look at it and then roll over and go back to sleep. She doesn't have to even look at the messages really.

lalaloopyhead Fri 24-Mar-17 10:05:56

I think she is being a bit daft, just because you send something doesn't mean she has to respond.

I sometimes text a particular friend early, say 7-7.30am, its usually about arrangements to meet up and I know if I don't do it then I might not have chance once I am at work - I've never had any objection to this.

If she is getting disturbed she needs to put her notifications on silent.
Also I have a friend who sometimes texts quite late at night (10.30pm onwards) and I am assuming as that is when she sits down and thinks about whatever she is contacting me about. I however am in bed and don't see the text until the morning - again no issue all round.

soundsystem Fri 24-Mar-17 10:09:12

I figure that nowadays it's ok to message at whatever time, and the recipient will look at it at a time convenient to them. Up to her to set her phone so she isn't disturbed!

Lucked Fri 24-Mar-17 10:11:34

I never put my phone on silent, there is work who might need me in an emergency but also we both have elderly parents and would hate to be uncontactable. I have no friends who text or post in the middle of the night so it isn't a problem.

One friend is an early riser and texts really early. She has been asked repeatedly not before 8 (although I would prefer later!) but the odd one still happens. Pisses me off,I never respond to those in a timely manner.

It feels like an intrusion into family life.

TheNaze73 Fri 24-Mar-17 10:11:40

You can't argue a feeling & if that's how she feels, then so be it.

Totally with you though, I don't think you've done anything wrong.

Treaclespongeandcustard Fri 24-Mar-17 10:12:33

I think it's too early. I have two small children and am usually up way before then, but, if by some miracle they both slept I would not be pleased to be woken by a text. We also don't have a landline and so I leave my phone on vibrate in case there is a family emergency. Sorry OP, I think you were being unreasonable.

Pinkheart5915 Fri 24-Mar-17 10:13:19

I think a text is fine anytime of day, surely if people don't want to hear the phone they put it on silent.

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