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To be pissed off with people making it all about them?

(117 Posts)
BeaderBird Fri 24-Mar-17 07:52:31

I'm so sick of hearing people say things like 'God, I was only on that bridge last Wednesday' and 'Did you know that DS was in London on Monday?'.

It's the same when someone dies. 'Oh no, our DD's best friend from primary school (that she hasn't seen or spoken about for 17 years) has died, it's been a real shock for her.'

Are people really this selfish, attention seeking and self centred?


Renaissance2017 Fri 24-Mar-17 07:55:40

It happens all the time. Look at local media reports when there has been a big national or international incident. They all try to find a local connection however tenuous!

purplecoathanger Fri 24-Mar-17 07:56:05

It's not selfish. It's more a realisation of our own mortality and that of our loved ones.

TheCakes Fri 24-Mar-17 07:57:25

It's called empathy. People relating to tragedy on a personal level.

Laiste Fri 24-Mar-17 07:58:38

Surely people are only expressing their connection to an event. Physical or emotional. Are we all to live like robots?

You're responding here to how you feel about how they feel. An even more vague connection!

BeaderBird Fri 24-Mar-17 07:59:41

I don't think it is empathy when it's a FB status designed to get attention though and no word of the people who have lost their lives, the impact on them and their families and the horror they are experiencing. Just, 'that could have been me.'

DoNotBlameMeIVotedRemain Fri 24-Mar-17 08:00:47

My office is next to Parliament Sq and I was there when this happened. My colleague was actually inside the Parliament at the time, she was not hurt but extremely scared.

AristotlesTrousers Fri 24-Mar-17 08:00:52

Isn't it just the human condition to try and want to relate to things though? All part of making sense of the bigger (as well as smaller) stuff in life. I think it's a natural reaction to most things. People just vary in how they express it.

AnxiousMunchkin Fri 24-Mar-17 08:05:24

Purplecoathanger I'm so glad you wrote that. I have found what happened extremely upsetting and it really has shaken me on a deep level. I do have depression/anxiety issues, and DP is met police, it just feels too close for comfort. However I'm worrying I'm "making it all about me" when I actuality I'm fine, no one I know personally was hurt, although one of DP's colleagues is still in critical condition, he is understandably angry and upset - although resolutely professional and committed, I'm so proud of him. His shifts have been extended and looks like he won't have his rest days. But I'm fine, he's fine, so why do I feel so personally affected and violated? I should be thinking of the grieving families more and those who are still fighting for their lives, facing life changing injuries or a long road to deal with the psychological trauma they've endured. I feel guilt for thinking about me and mine.

ssd Fri 24-Mar-17 08:08:22

I couldn't agree with you more op

bruffin Fri 24-Mar-17 08:12:08

The irony of this thread, just as attention seeking, telling the world you are so much better than them.

This thread says more about you than it does about the people you are complaining about. I was caught up in 7/7 was evacuated out of liverpool street and then when i got to my office in the Minories was stuck inside the cordon, someone else in the office lost a friend that day.

TheNaze73 Fri 24-Mar-17 08:13:52

YANBU, people playing grief Top Trumps is pathetic.

user1489261248 Fri 24-Mar-17 08:27:00

I agree with the OP too. Some people always have to find some connection to make them more upset than the other person, or somehow more involved, to make them more important. And as someone said above; they play 'grief top trumps.'

What makes me laugh is (for example,) Chuck Berry died last week, and some club from Coventry came on the news and said 'we remember Chuck when he appeared here in 1966, blah blah blah,' and they go on as if they knew him.

It was over half a century ago, he performed for half an hour and then left, and they never saw him again. What's more, all the people being interviewed (who work there now) weren't even born then (or were 5!) and never even met him. But they just have to get their face in the news, and claim some connection! It happens every time a celebrity dies.

And don't even get me started on people who cry and whine and sob on facebook when a celebrity dies. Like they were a close, personal friend, and they are far more upset than anyone else about the death. It's fine to acknowledge it and be a bit sad, but not to go on about it, expecting sympathy, as if the person was a close relative!

StrangeLookingParasite Fri 24-Mar-17 08:35:54

The irony of this thread, just as attention seeking, telling the world you are so much better than them.

This thread says more about you than it does about the people you are complaining about. I was caught up in 7/7 was evacuated out of liverpool street and then when i got to my office in the Minories was stuck inside the cordon, someone else in the office lost a friend that day.

Yes to this. I live very, very close to both the Paris attack sites, my son was told to run down the street by the police during the Charlie Hebdo shootings (returning from a sortie). People do what they have to do. You don't get to tell people how they react.

March01 Fri 24-Mar-17 08:37:33

Totally agree, OP. I had people on putting their status as Safe when I knew that they were bloody miles from the attack. One person did it and they live in Essex - and they never bloody leave Essex!

And don't get me started on how the coverage of it has been handled. Mawkish, melodramatic and basically doing exactly what the terrorist wanted to achieve.

March01 Fri 24-Mar-17 08:40:16

There is a whole heap of difference to actually being caught up in something, bruffin and StrangeLookingParasite and having a tenuous connection to it (i.e. "I was on a bus on Westminster Bridge just last week").

user1489261248 Fri 24-Mar-17 08:41:09

LO I saw that too March ^ People saying 'it's OK I'm safe' when they lived 20 miles from where it was anyway. Pure attention seeking, nothing less.

I think it's bad that it happened, but FFS, how much more news coverage do we need about it? A special half hour long report and everything. Last night, 25 minutes of the 30 minute news was about the attack. confused

But yeah, people trying to pretend they are involved (for attention) really piss me off.

Amber76 Fri 24-Mar-17 08:41:17

I remember my mil arriving at my hospital bedside (after i'd had my third section) and she went on and on about how worried she'd been about me going into hospital. How she couldn't sleep as women sometimes die when giving birth. How she was stressed out because there were so many bugs in hospitals.

Honestly she stood at the side of the bed and talked about herself and how 'hard' she had found it. Meanwhile my dh was as home with our two older kids and a bad cold. When I asked if she would call into him she talked about how she raised her kids without help and how we'd just have to get used to it. (She lived on the same road as her own mother and got a huge amount of help from her).

Slight tangent from thread but some people are very much focused on themselves..

user1489261248 Fri 24-Mar-17 08:42:25

I was in London for a week in summer 2014, do I get to claim a connection too. hmm

BeaderBird Fri 24-Mar-17 08:44:54

Bruffin and StrageLooking, I think you might have missed the point.

BeaderBird Fri 24-Mar-17 08:46:02

User1489, this must be very hard for you. My sympathies xx

March01 Fri 24-Mar-17 08:46:40

Yes, the news last night was ridiculous. I listen to Radio London and some of the twaddle that was spouted on that yesterday was incredible. At one point they interviewed some bloke with his dog who lived nowhere near it and had no connection to it and he was blubbing about it whilst also getting in a minor rant about Brexit. The interview asked what he was going to do next and he immediately perks up and says "Oh I'm going for a drink."

To the person who said empathy - yes I agree that is a valid and important reaction. However there is a fine line between empathy and making it all about them.

user1489261248 Fri 24-Mar-17 08:49:30

Thanks Beader. flowers grin

Sparkletastic Fri 24-Mar-17 08:50:46

Strongly agree OP. Attention seeking / ambulance chasing not empathy.

Capricorn76 Fri 24-Mar-17 08:53:24

Oh my days! I wanted to start the same thread but was too chicken. I was starting to get really annoyed with people checking in to say they were safe on Facebook when we all know they live and work miles away from where it happened and had no reason to be in the area. One checked in to say they were safe this morning. The attack happened two days ago, we would've known by now if he was injured or missing!

I really don't know why some people have to insert themselves into everything. 'I was only on that bridge last summer, it could've been me!'. Seriously? hmm.

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