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AIBU to feel a bit 'picked on' for being 'posh'?

(82 Posts)
muddyspringwellies Fri 24-Mar-17 06:59:53

I'm aware it's a ridiculous thread title and I've actually namechanged, due to being a bit embarrassed but also due to quite specific info.

I own a business and the manager and workers are excellent so I only need to go in a couple of times a week to check everything is running smoothly. As well as the business I have various sources of income and one of these is working in a minimum wage capacity in home care.

The area I am from has a strong, noticeable local accent, which I don't have. Because of this I'm often treated with some hostility and also and more annoyingly with some amusement by clients and colleagues alike. I get a LOT of 'say <insert word>' and accused of being foreign hmm or from some part of the UK they don't like, usually Liverpool or London (!)

I mean, it's something and nothing really but AIBU to be a bit pissed off with it?

isthistoonosy Fri 24-Mar-17 07:04:20

I use to get this because I had a very strong bham accent and lived up north. Its kind of annoying as you say but if the same people keep doing it just say no im busy and or make a joke of it.

Trifleorbust Fri 24-Mar-17 07:13:59

Just say no, if you want someone to do accents and entertainment, call Kenneth Williams.

muddyspringwellies Fri 24-Mar-17 07:16:58

Yes, but it's not just that, is it? It's the aggressive 'where are YOU from' and then the endless 'Liverpool?' 'No ...' 'where then?' 'Here ...' 'no, but where are you FROM?'

You can't ever just BE, if you see what I mean!

oklumberjack Fri 24-Mar-17 07:18:43

Yes, I've often felt a bit picked on/teased for sounding 'posh'.

I live in Bristol. Not the wealthy, upper middle class parts of Bristol but the slightly down trodden edges. I didn't grow up in Bristol and don't have the gurt lush accent. However I've been here 20 years and I feel some of my words can have a West Country twang. Most people are very friendly, however I've been at parties or on buses where some people have been very hostile when hearing my voice. I've been called a Posh twat before now.

I don't get it really. I can only guess it's extreme fear of knowing no-one outside of your immediate area maybe?

Trifleorbust Fri 24-Mar-17 07:21:39

Why don't you just tell them where you're from? Doesn't sound very aggressive to me, sorry.

muddyspringwellies Fri 24-Mar-17 07:25:46

I do Trifle but they don't believe me!

Say I am from Bristol (I'm not)

'Where are YOU from then?'
'Bristol.'
'Ehhhhhh no you're not.'
'I am, yeah, grew up in XXX'
'Well you SOUND like you're from Liverpool/London/Cardiff/Down South (the South round here is a strange and dangerous place that starts around Shropshire)'

Then there's the mocking. 'Could you pass me one of those?' 'Oh yes, you can have one of THEWS!'

And being referred to 'that one from down south (I'm not!) Liverpool (I'm not!) London (nope!)'

It gets VERY tedious. And it can feel a bit aggressive when people are firing questions at you when actually you just want to get on with stuff.

SansComic Fri 24-Mar-17 07:28:27

I've only ever had it once.

"I'm from Roedean, where did you school?" followed by unblinking eye contact until they fucked away sorted it once and for all.

If they're asking you to repeat a word then do and say something like "Now you try..." "Yes that's right. Keep practicing. You'll get there."

Fight rudeness with rudeness. Rising above it is accepting defeat.

YMMV

You're being fairly U to get pissed off though. It's all quite minor.

muddyspringwellies Fri 24-Mar-17 07:29:38

I think it's because it's marking me as Different which I had all the way through school. Just a reminder that I'm alongside the same sort of people who once caused me a lot of pain smile

Iamastonished Fri 24-Mar-17 07:29:38

I think they have a chip on their shoulder. We have this issue too. We live in South Yorkshire, but I'm from South London and OH is from the North East.

People say I have a posh accent, but it isn't, it is a South London accent. I point this out and tell them to stop having a chip on their shoulder because a South London accent is not posher than a Sheffield/Barnsley accent. It's just different.

DD gets accused of being posh because she takes salad to school for lunch and lives in a bigger house than some of her friends. Their parents earn more than we do and take more foreign holidays than we do, but they don't seem to "get" that.

TinfoilHattie Fri 24-Mar-17 07:30:01

Some people have massive chips on their shoulder and inferiority complexes. It's a kind of inverse snobbery.

Happens throughout life - I was branded "posh" because I handed in my homework on time by some of the low-achieving people in my class at school. I was again "posh" in my first job at 16 because I didn't swear like a trooper and wanted to pass my exams at school. "Posh" again at Uni because I went to Uni in a different scottish city where the accent is different. "Posh" now to some people because of the suburb we live in.

Just ignore it - it's not OK and it just shows their ignorange. You wouldn't call someone an uneducated, parochial oik so it's not OK to take the piss out of someone who you think has more life experience or has lived in a different place than you.

Trifleorbust Fri 24-Mar-17 07:30:19

I get it's irritating but I wouldn't be taking it this personally tbh. Just say, "I just told you" and "No".

TheNaze73 Fri 24-Mar-17 07:31:44

I agree, ignore it. They're only jealous

wobblywonderwoman Fri 24-Mar-17 07:31:58

That sounds draining actually.
Can you change the subject - it is really rude I think

sexymuthafunker Fri 24-Mar-17 07:32:48

How on earth do you sound like you are from London AND Liverpool???

tillytown Fri 24-Mar-17 07:39:56

sexymutha I was thinking that too

OP, can you do any other accents? If you can, keep changing them, and really piss these people off

WizardOfToss Fri 24-Mar-17 07:40:12

Ah, the famous friendly North. Unless you're from the South, in which case you're an up yourself twat. Bloody tiresome.

I don't know OP, I guess you can't be too direct with these rude and aggressive people if you're caring for them?

Headofthehive55 Fri 24-Mar-17 07:40:38

I think it's really rude. We suffer with this in this household too.
I mean flip it around and you wouldn't say oh you sound like you're from the gutter would you? It would be considered rude.

grumpysquash3 Fri 24-Mar-17 07:42:21

I also have the south London accent that people think is posh. It isn't.

My PIL (from Lincolnshire) think everything I say or do is posh. They won't use our recently refurbished shower room because it's too posh and insist on using the manky 1960's cubicle in the other bathroom.

It's annoying and very judgemental. I wouldn't dream of suggesting they weren't posh enough or anything like that.....

muddyspringwellies Fri 24-Mar-17 07:42:31

It is VERY draining!

Sexy, I don't! smile It really just is code for 'you sound Different', so they name various towns where they are vaguely aware people sound Different.

Frillyhorseyknickers Fri 24-Mar-17 07:44:28

It's just inverse snobbery. I'm from (born and bred) near Barnsley in south yorks. I went to boarding school up both at 11 and then to uni at 18. I live in Lincs now but still have a lot of client work up near home and a lot of family. It is constant, but I just have to remind myself that it could be worse - I could have a Barnsley accent. 😬😬

Inthehighcastle Fri 24-Mar-17 07:45:13

Who are these people that think a Liverpool accent is posh?! 😂

BeyondThePage Fri 24-Mar-17 07:46:41

I was born in Birmingham, raised in Scotland and live in the South West -

I work on the counter in a pharmacy, there is not one single hour of the working day when I am not asked where I am from and comments made on my accent...

I know I sound "different", I like it... and just let the ruder comments pass over my head.

At the moment all I get is "how would you vote/do you get to vote - in the Scottish referendum?" - never mind the fact it has not even been decided they will have one, oh, AND I was born in England and live in England...

hey-ho...

amboinsainbos Fri 24-Mar-17 07:47:01

^Exactly what i was going to say!

museumum Fri 24-Mar-17 07:49:37

People are being rude and a bit bullying towards you. If it's the people in your business you need to pull rank!
In the care work if it's older people who might be early stage dementia then it's forgivable but just hold your boundaries "yes I am from here and yes I know I don't have a string local accent" then change the subject. And imagine how much of this you'd get if you had different coloured skin or non-European features!

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