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Should she just have worn it?

(55 Posts)
BroomHandledMouser Thu 23-Mar-17 14:35:15

DD 5 is in a talent show in a few weeks time.

The girls are wearing tutus and the one boy in jogging bottoms.

DD has spoken up and has said that actually, she would rather wear joggers as she's not keen on tutus and other 'girly' clothes.

The TA who's organising all this has blown a gasket and has said that she won't look like all the other girls now and that she'll look different. Not only that, she now has to give everyone the choice.

DD is fine with not looking the same, but should I have just made her wear it for the sake of 3 minutes on stage?

Part of me thinks yes I should've. The other part thinks actually...this little girl has spoken up and she's got a point!

IamFriedSpam Thu 23-Mar-17 14:37:16

I don't really see the problem with her wearing jogging bottoms since there'll be other kids on stage in them too, why do the girls and boys have to be distinguished by outfit (or do they have separate girl parts and boy parts in the show?)

ImFuckingSpartacus Thu 23-Mar-17 14:38:22

If the boy can look different and wear joggers, so can the girls. Or if they all have to wear tutus, he can as well.
Tell the TA to find something else to get cross about, because this isn't worth more than a moments thought.

Gileswithachainsaw Thu 23-Mar-17 14:38:52

Blown a gasket?

Ta needs to calm down

Dint see why she can't wear joggers. It's a talent show with the year olds at school. I wouldn't want them to look the same.

I love seeing kids personalities shining through. The ones who do the whole thing stood on one leg or facing the wrong way slightly or the costume falling off a bit....

It's the best part.....

BroomHandledMouser Thu 23-Mar-17 14:40:05

They're all doing the exact same routine.

My DM thinks I'm being very unreasonable! Just wanted to get other opinions.

FWIW I agree that girls and boys don't have to be distinguished by clothes. DD has realised this and I'm quite proud of her.

I've reimbursed the TA for the cost as she had already ordered the tutus.

GeillisTheWitch Thu 23-Mar-17 14:40:26

Hmm I'm on the fence a bit. On the one hand, if the boy is getting to wear joggers then I don't think your DD is unreasonable to want this option too but on the other hand my DD does dancing and doesn't get to choose her own show costumes, the dance teacher chooses and she has to suck it up so I tell her that it's just part of the commitment she has to make to do dancing as a hobby.

greeeen Thu 23-Mar-17 14:41:09

I would have let her wear the joggers.

BroomHandledMouser Thu 23-Mar-17 14:41:59

It's just a one off talent show thing at the school, it's not a regular thing thank god confused

Seeingadistance Thu 23-Mar-17 14:42:14

Good for your daughter!

GooseFriend Thu 23-Mar-17 14:42:38

Well if they're all doing the same thing then surely it's better to have not just one dressed differently?

BroomHandledMouser Thu 23-Mar-17 14:43:01

She is...and a boy hat too the shock!

harderandharder2breathe Thu 23-Mar-17 14:43:22

They're 5, there's another child in joggers, why can't she wear joggers?

There will be other times when she just has to wear what she's told, but I don't think this needs to be so strict

0dfod Thu 23-Mar-17 14:45:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sirfredfredgeorge Thu 23-Mar-17 14:46:08

Nope, her choice, choice of what you wear is one of the few choices you can have at age 5.

You could've made some arguments about why everyone looking the same is important, but of course, only if everyone looking the same was important, which it clearly wasn't. So there weren't really any logical arguments you could make, and making an illogical one would be pretty poor.

BroomHandledMouser Thu 23-Mar-17 14:47:45

Exactly, she asked me why she needed to wear one to dance and I actually had no answer to that. Not one single answer that would've made any logical sense

VestalVirgin Thu 23-Mar-17 14:48:25

The other part thinks actually...this little girl has spoken up and she's got a point!

That's what I think, too.

Either everyone wears a tutu, including the boy or everyone has a choice. Simple as that.

candyvilla Thu 23-Mar-17 14:50:07

YANBU. My ds also 5 ,would have wanted to wear the tutu. I think all of the children should have been given the choice at the beginning. I can't help but think that some adults find it difficult when some children don't fit in neatly of what they think a boy/girl should be like/wear and just don't know how to deal with such things in a well balanced way. Why couldn't all of the children wear joggers or similar?

Swirlingasong Thu 23-Mar-17 14:52:10

But if the TA is organising it and your daughter asked her if she could wear joggers then it is the TA's job to say yes or no. I can't see why she should get cross that a five year old asked a reasonable question. I also can't see why you should reimburse her for the tutu if the school are buying costumes. I'm sure they'll get used for other things.

BroomHandledMouser Thu 23-Mar-17 14:52:59

They weren't given the choice candy, they were told what to wear and that was the end of it.

I wouldn't be surprised now if DD is shoved to the back!

WaegukSaram Thu 23-Mar-17 15:02:53

Either everyone wears a tutu, including the boy or everyone has a choice. Simple as that.

This. Good for your daughter for saying something.

SapphireStrange Thu 23-Mar-17 15:03:27

Good for your daughter!

I can't see why she should get cross that a five year old asked a reasonable question. Yes, I agree. Is she generally a good TA?

Falafelings Thu 23-Mar-17 15:04:17

The TA is being pedantic and unreasonable

Morphene Thu 23-Mar-17 15:09:03

YANBU . It is SO important that when our DD's ask questions like 'why do I have to do this when the boy's don't, that we don't fob them off, but work out if there is a real justifiable reason, and if there isn't, we make it clear there isn't and support them.

glitterglitters Thu 23-Mar-17 15:10:53

@BroomHandledMouser Sounds like you're raising a strong, confident young lady there who has her head screwed on. 🙌🏼

Lweji Thu 23-Mar-17 15:12:35

What's the point of buying tutus for a one off?

<I digress>

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