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To hate mothers day

(21 Posts)
cheesyinkent Thu 23-Mar-17 13:47:28

My DM loves her birthdays and mothers day. I'm a bit meh about it all, just made up by PR to force us to spend more money at a quiet time of year.

I do always get her something as I know it means alot, and she has alot of time on her hands so it means more to her, but sometimes I think shouldn't she respect that i don't buy into it and I want to be kind to her every day of the year?

Flowers flown from the other side of the world by people in poverty just to sit on table and die while others go hungry. I really feel uncomfortable with it but she loves her flowers.

CookieWarbler Thu 23-Mar-17 13:55:35

I wouldn't say I hate it but I'm meh about it as well. I can't understand the hysterics and drama people get into about it on the threads that regularly pop up on MN at this time of year.
My daughter is with her Dad this weekend and people have been really shocked that I'm not seeing her or that her Dad doesn't cut short his weekend with her. I'm really not bothered.
FWIW I am doing somethind nice with my Mum but I don't need to be told to and she's as meh about it as me!

WormwoodScrubbed Thu 23-Mar-17 14:00:56

Just a huge money making scam like most other so-called special days. My mother died in 1999 and my own dc don't bother with it so I'm meh about it as well

BillyButtfuck Thu 23-Mar-17 14:01:39

I agree with not liking how commercial it all is. I don't buy shop bought flowers or £5 cards from clintons. I'll be baking my DM a Dorset apple cake and making her a hand made card which my Dtwins will decorate destroy with finger paint.
It's my first year as a Mother myself and have spent the last few years upset after struggling TTC, it's a weird one because I can understand how a lot of women who can't have children for whatever reason or have lost children will be feeling.

Wibblewobbles Thu 23-Mar-17 14:04:23

I would get a gift plant/flowers in a pot that last longer than a bouquet and can often be planted outdoors afterwards too.

It doesn't have to be so commercialised. You could make her homemade cakes nicely decorated, or do an afternoon tea at home. That way you're showing you care without going along with all the commercial bollocks.

Gottagetmoving Thu 23-Mar-17 14:04:40

No YABU to dislike mothers day and people who like it are not BU.
We have had a few threads about this already.
It i snot made up PR - There was mothers day long before all the commercialisation.

pointstaken Thu 23-Mar-17 14:14:41

I am not that bothered about it, but my little ones are so proud to celebrate and make me something special, it's sweet.

It doesn't cost me much to call my mum on that day and send her some flowers, we talk all the time anyway. I am lucky she is there, I understand it can be painful when your own mum is gone. It's the "grand-mother's day" and other even more recent inventions that are getting annoying. If you are a grand-mother, surely you are a mother too, so what is the bloody point?

Reow Thu 23-Mar-17 14:15:03

It means nothing to me at all. Hallmark capitalist nonsense. I'd love to not acknowledge it.

It means a lot to my mum, and she makes a big deal of it, which makes me feel bad.

MumBod Thu 23-Mar-17 14:27:11

Hate it.

ImFuckingSpartacus Thu 23-Mar-17 14:29:38

Someone you love loves it. Isn't that enough of a reason to do it?

VikingVolva Thu 23-Mar-17 14:35:09

My mother is really firm that she's celebrating Mothering Sunday (not the recently coined Mothers Day).

A plant would portably give your DMum just as much pleasure (if your objection is that flowers die).

And it is admirable that you want to give your entire disposable income to charity, presents to your mother twice a year on the occasions that mean the most to her surely doesn't reduce your giving that much. Especially as you can ask everyone to always make charity donations rather than ever buying you a present.

IamFriedSpam Thu 23-Mar-17 14:35:25

* I think shouldn't she respect that i don't buy into it and I want to be kind to her every day of the year?*

Not really. Not buying into it just means you don't expect anything from your kids. If it's important to your mum why not go and give her a card if it'll make her happy? You could always do home made stuff if you're opposed to the commercial stuff.

I don't like mothers day either and try to be nice to my mum every day of the year but if it was important to her I wouldn't begrudge her a card and small gift for mother's day.

Pumple Thu 23-Mar-17 14:37:14

shouldn't she respect that i don't buy into it and I want to be kind to her every day of the year?

That's a bit miserable of you. There are plenty of ways you can stick two fingers up at The Man and still give your mum a nice Mother's Day.

Don't be a springtime grinch. It's not a good look.

Crunchyside Fri 24-Mar-17 21:11:20

I just saw this advertised and thought of this thread... Maybe this is something you could 'buy into' OP...

Help deliver a baby

Wriggler79 Fri 24-Mar-17 22:20:17

YANBU, you're entitled to feel how you feel and shouldn't feel pressured to make a big thing of it. I never really cared that much when I was with my ex because he made such a fuss about it, it seemed a bit fake. Since separating from him, my time with my kids is more precious for having them part time. My youngest gave me two cards and a poster tonight. All of them had elaborate wording and words written in alternating colours. One of them had a song written for me, in it! I was so happy about the effort she had put into it all, and the massive hug she gave me. I got a bit teary actually. Genuinely lovely.

FunnysInLaJardin Fri 24-Mar-17 22:27:14

I like Mothers Day and my DC get so excited about what they have made me. TBH it is more exciting for them, although as it nears I really look forward to it.

I will ring my mum on mothers day and have sent her a card.

It doesn't have to be overly commercial

beachbodyunready Fri 24-Mar-17 22:48:13

Mothering Sunday is a long standing Christian day celebrated 2 Sunday's before Easter Sunday, the Mother's Day cards we buy are a newer variation. I love the tradition of giving our mothers something just for them whatever it is.

welshmist Fri 24-Mar-17 22:54:19

As a Mum I love to see all my children together they are all now much taller than me, two married but on this day I feel very blessed. It is not about presents or cards but the gift of their time that I cherish.

Scrubba Fri 24-Mar-17 23:02:09

I dislike Mother's Day because I have to buy a card that's says something along the lines of Best Mum Ever on it when, in reality, she's about as far from that as possible. But if I don't go the whole hog I'm a disrespectful madam.

OrangeStar Fri 24-Mar-17 23:02:51

I get you OP! I don't feel the same way as my mum.

I just want my son to do a load of housework and a cup of tea. Thats all!

TeaForever Sat 25-Mar-17 08:57:04

I think Mothers Day can be an extremely painful day for many women - childless women (who desperately want to be mothers); women (and men) who have lost their mothers; those who have broken relationships with their mothers; those whose children are far away, and more besides.
I find Mothers Day very difficult for a variety of reasons. I know that for some other women it's a wonderful day, and I am happy for them, and wouldn't wish to take away from their joy; but I have to try and protect myself from aspects of it, by hiding away! I'm glad it's only once a year.

I have to say too, that I'm not a lover of 'special' days in general. I'm a simple soul, and really something of a fan of the everyday. I rarely do much for my own birthdays either. Each to their own...

I totally agree with you about flowers from the other side of the world OP. The cut flower industry is so unethical. Impoverished people paid a pittance to work in terrible conditions, breathing in agri-chemicals, that among other things have been proven to cause miscarriages among the workers. Then all those air miles. It's just bonkers! Fairtrade organic flowers are better of course. But locally sourced is better still, and flowers grow so well here. Or alternatives such as origami paper flowers. Anyway, sorry, went off on one! The point is I agree.

Ethical flowers to all those for whom tomorrow will be a difficult day. You're not alone x

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