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to be so angry?

(35 Posts)
Margaritaisme Thu 23-Mar-17 13:38:09

Relations in my shared house have broken down because one flatmate won't stop having her boyfriend here to stay. He is regularly the last one here in the mornings, and often stays until midday (after the rest of us have gone to work for 9am).

Things came to a head fairly recently when he used a different mode of access to leave the house, rendering the front door inaccessible (long story) and meaning that we had to get a locksmith out to let us in. Housemate and boyfriend were nowhere to be seen and left us to do this ourselves...

Since then, we agreed on new house rule that all guests should enter/leave with the housemate who they are with. She has consistently flouted this rule, and when pulled up on it, has accused me of bullying the boyfriend (who I hasten to add, doesn't and has never contributed a penny).

We also agreed that keys should not be left outside the house (they were the only ones who did this, compromising everyone's safety and personal possessions)!

Today things got even worse as I was home by myself (they didn't know this) and could hear him in her room, by himself. He had her key and left at around midday (hours after her), hiding the key outside...

I'm so angry! She is not talking to me at the moment and will be moving out in 2 months, but I am infuriated by the way she continue to treat me and other housemates and blatant disregard she has for us!

Help please

NewIdeasToday Thu 23-Mar-17 13:41:59

You've had at least two other threads about your flat share issues. What advice can anyone possibly give now, that you haven't already had?

Have you taken any real action following all that previous advice? How did that help you?

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 Thu 23-Mar-17 13:43:22

Take the key and leave her locked out. .
If she comes knocking just pretend you aren't in. .

wowfudge Thu 23-Mar-17 13:45:25

The OP has asked for advice. She has asked is she BU to be so angry.

I don't think YABU OP. But, she's leaving so this should resolve itself. Did you not ask her boyfriend to leave when you realised he was there? I would have done. Your housemate is arrogant and doesn't care about anyone else in the house share by all accounts.

ImFuckingSpartacus Thu 23-Mar-17 13:46:45

If he left her key outside, take it, but don't let on.

Margaritaisme Thu 23-Mar-17 13:47:13

NewIdeas: I have taken all the advice - I have confronted her, spoken to her nicely, exploded at her, tried to have reasonable discussions with her. All of the above - everything apart from going to the landlord. She is now moving out. However I still have to live with her for two months (she is not talking to me and thinks I'm a bully...) - I get on v well with other two housemates though.

Other housemate (who is kind of in the middle) will be able to let her in tonight. Fourth housemate (who is very much on my side) is incensed and infuriated as well... Obviously I will not be giving back the key until she comes clean - her usual style is make a shitty excuse then turn it into a personal attack on me and the others!

Can I ban him from staying? Our house contract states that guests only allowed 5 nights a month. (She doesn't care.)

ScarletFever Thu 23-Mar-17 13:47:22

yup - do this
Take the key and leave her locked out. .

but dont admit it

SleepFreeZone Thu 23-Mar-17 13:48:18

I was also going to suggest taking the key and buggering off out.

ImFuckingSpartacus Thu 23-Mar-17 13:48:41

She's going to do what she wants now no matter what you say, given that she's leaving. You can say "he's banned" but how can you actually keep him out? You can't.

AnneLovesGilbert Thu 23-Mar-17 13:48:56

Another one saying take the key and don't let her back in.

Cosmicglitterpug Thu 23-Mar-17 13:49:21

If he left her key outside, take it, but don't let on.

Agree with this. Then be out tonight.

Also, contact your landlord?

Margaritaisme Thu 23-Mar-17 13:50:30

Our third housemate (who is in middle) will let her in this evening though. She spends more time at home than the rest of us do.

AnneLovesGilbert Thu 23-Mar-17 13:51:55

What's there for the other one to be in the middle about?

Cosmicglitterpug Thu 23-Mar-17 13:52:23

Well that key can just mysteriously disappear can't it

IamFriedSpam Thu 23-Mar-17 13:52:45

Take the key and leave her locked out. . That would probably teach her a lesson. Say that you noticed the key had been left there and took it with you for security reasons before you went to visit your friend for the entire evening.

MiddleClassProblem Thu 23-Mar-17 13:56:16

It's only 2 months. Fingers crossed it will speed by.

Gatehouse77 Thu 23-Mar-17 14:01:20

I get how pissed off you are and agree with taking the key for now.

However, you said you're moving out in 2 months. Try, and I know how hard it is!, to let things go. Vent away but keep in mind that the end is in sight.

mickeysminnie Thu 23-Mar-17 14:09:23

Why did you not just tell the boyfriend to get the fuck out this morning?

SuperFlyHigh Thu 23-Mar-17 14:10:53

I'd be inclined to leave it as only 2 months.

What will you do about her replacement though?

SuperFlyHigh Thu 23-Mar-17 14:12:49

You could (a friend of mine did this) make the remainder of her life with you a nightmare, when boyfriend stays etc... Could backfire but may be ultimately pleasing.

Report to landlord re her boyfriend saying max number of nights, landlord may dock off her deposit being returned.

The80sweregreat Thu 23-Mar-17 14:13:15

It sounds annoying and anti social, but you are moving out soon - 2 months will fly by. best let it go, who ever takes your room will have all the same problems no doubt.
Sharing must be hell when you all dont get along or the rules in place are broken- lets hope your new place is a lot better for you with more reasonable people.

harderandharder2breathe Thu 23-Mar-17 14:22:39

If you've done everything except go to the landlord then surely go to the landlord

crazyspaniellady Thu 23-Mar-17 14:23:16

I would be tempted to take the key, not let on you have it so she thinks it's been taken. She then has to pay for a locksmith to change the locks, like you and the others had to do. Then again, I am extremely petty towards people like that grin

Margaritaisme Thu 23-Mar-17 14:58:40

Good suggestions all thank you

Margaritaisme Thu 23-Mar-17 21:55:22

Update from her.

She has messaged demanding keys are returned to her as she pays rent for them...

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