Botox for dh & highlights for me

[BreakfastMuffin]

Dh is nearing 50 and feeling old and wrinkly. Went to get botox done and likes it, wants to do it again plus fillers. I don't like the idea that he wants to spend all this money on something I don't think is important. He's still who he is botox or no botox. He says why don't I stop going to the hairdresser's getting my hair done and let the roots grow out as it's the same thing. We're not poor but by no means are we rich either. I am trying to see how getting one's hair done is the same as botox. Wdyt.

[mummymeister]

if you can afford it, he wants to spend his spare money on this rather than holidays, theatre trips etc then fine. its his money as much as yours.

I would be a bit concerned about the vanity issue personally but that's because I think having your hair done is one thing but stuffing your body full of unnecessary chemicals that no one really knows the long term effects of is something else.

how would he deal with it if it went wrong?

[KungFuPandaWorksOut16]

If you've got the money and that's what he wants why can't he?
It is comparable. You having your hair done makes yourself feel good, he wants Botox done too make himself feel good about himself.

[LostSight]

I am trying to see how getting one's hair done is the same as botox.*

I guess there's more risk to the botox. Other than that, they are both things that are fairly expensive and aimed solely at modifying your appearance in a way that you both individually feel makes you feel more attractive. One feels more invasive, but that is, at least in part because it is less common, I suspect.

[uggmum]

I had Botox for the first time this week. I had frown lines between my eyebrows and I hated them. My dh hates the idea of Botox. When I mention that I wanted to have it done he was not happy and said I wasn't to do it. He doesn't usually express his opinions like this but feels it's a poison and shouldn't be injected into your face.

I have had it done anyway. I haven't told him yet. I will as we don't usually have secrets.

I have lost 3.5 stone in the past 6 months and really want to improve myself. I think that anything that makes you feel better about yourself is worth doing. It's my body, my choice.

If your dh feels he looks better with Botox and fillers and he can afford it then it's his choice.

[showmeislands]

It makes him feel better about how he looks, just as you getting your hair done does. So in that sense, the reasons for doing it aren't dissimilar. If he's able to afford it and it makes him feel good, why not just let him get on with it?

[moreslackthanslick]

I'm due to get Botox for the first time next week uggmum my DH is also the same but has resigned himself to it. 😳

[moreslackthanslick]

Oh and I'm just off to the hairdresser now too - I don't think your husband is being U Op.

[ShowMePotatoSalad]

He's right about the comparison - you're each doing something that makes you feel good and better about yourself. If you can afford it then it's not a problem, is it? And it's not up to you to decide what is important to him or not.

[Stripeymug]

I think that you having your hair coloured, to cover grey is a way to cover up aging in the same way that he wants to cover up aging with Botox. Let him get on with it.

[Ethylred]

Blimey, I hadn't thought of botox, I'm sending DH off for his right now. He had a recent passport photograph ("no smiling") that makes him look like one of the undead.

[ImperialBlether]

So ummm how much does Botox cost? Just asking for a friend...

[icanteven]

You could make a case that the hair is MORE profound than botox, because it is a dramatic change. If your natural hair is, like mine, mousey brown with more and more grey every year, and you are having it bleached every couple of months to make it blonde (a colour traditionally associated with youth) then that is a far more dramatic change than having some fillers, designed to subtly erase a couple of years without making any actual changes.

We're used to the idea of highlights, but botox has until relatively recently been associated with wealthy older ladies in Monaco, so there's more resistance.

I'm getting lip injections in September and I'm VERY excited about it. My upper lip has always been thin but at 38 age is starting to (to my mind) exacerbate it.

[theBaldSoprano]

I am with your husband. Both are non-essential and purely cosmetic, and probably work out the same financially over a year (botox once or twice a year, hightlight 6 to 8 weeks...)

You don't need either, and you have the choice for a cheap home dye so expensive hairdresser really is a luxury (highly recommended, I hate home colours , they wreck my hair).

Your husband happiness is not less important than yours, it sounds selfish to ask him to stop when you don't. As long as he doesn't have botox every 2 weeks of course.

[statetrooperstacey]

Iv had Botox for the second time about 4 weeks ago and I look fucking awesome ! Really pleased with it. I think your DH is right, you don't want to give in to grey hair and ageing and neither does he, it's not that expensive really, I had my 11s and forehead done for the first time 4 years ago and the 11s have never come back as badly since and my forhead looked better for over a year. I had my second lot recently had 3 areas done for £95 !

[Littleballerina]

I agree with your dh.

[Ecureuil]

I'm with your DH. They're both unnecessary processes, designed to make you look younger and feel better about yourselves.

[harderandharder2breathe]

I agree with your DH, both things you pay for to make you feel better about your appearance.

[Bluntness100]

I'd also agree with your partner. I think it's deeper though, why are you tying to stop him doing something about himself that makes him feel good, and probably also makes him look better?

Do you have some insecurity there as to why he's doing it and why you'd rather he didn't?

Do you think he's trying to attract other women? Do you feel he looks better than you? I don't think this is about the money, so what's the deeper issue that's causing you to not want him to do it?

[BreakfastMuffin]

Stacey- £95? 😱 his was £350 and will be well over a grand for the fillers..

[BreakfastMuffin]

Bluntness- I don't think he looks better than me - also I'm quite a bit younger. It is mainly about the money- eg I'd like laser hair removal but don't feel we can easily afford it - and also the vanity of it - what's 'inside' is more important type of thing. But good to see different opinions

[statetrooperstacey]

I went back to the place I first had it done and I was a model in one of their training sessions.! The regular person did it and used me to demonstrate to one student he was training, just meant he took longer as he was explaining every step to her. It would have been about £ 230 ish otherwise. It was also really interesting as he was talking about how all the different muscles work., he clearly knew his stuff. Apparently I have forehead muscles like Fatima whitbread, tho that is not a good thing!

[HmmmHashtag]

The thing to remember about botox is that realistically it needs redoing every 3-4 months, so it's quite a big financial commitment!

[theBaldSoprano]

I don't understand your comment also the vanity of it - what's 'inside' is more important type of thing. You said yourself you are having your hair done, what is the difference?

[statetrooperstacey]

It doesn't need doing every 3/4 months at all. Also it's not a commitment, you can stop any time without your face falling off or turning into Gordon Ramsey overnight !

[Amar1na]

Botox is fantastic if you can afford it. There is no need to have a stressed looking forehead these days. I pay £320 for frownlines and vertical lines on the forehead about every 6 months. It's smooth but not frozen. They do say to return every 3-4 months but even if you have it once a year it gets results.. They always start with a very minimal dose. It takes 12 days for full effect to show and if you're not happy you can go back for a bit more.

That said, I've never had highlights and only stared having a semi-permanent tiny recently at the age of 40 to cover the greys. So my hair has been cost-effective up until now at least!

OP - Botox is no more vain than anything else, if that's what he wants to do.