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To accept never having a job

(164 Posts)
11122aa Thu 23-Mar-17 00:22:35

Hi. I've posted a few threads before but is it normal to accept you never have a job Due medical Reasons. I'm at uni doing law but a I'm finding the course hard and b I know I'll never get a job afterwards as I have autisum and dyspraxia and also mental health issues. I'd never cope with a full time job and I can't imagine I'm a suitable candidate for a part time shop job..

WildBelle Thu 23-Mar-17 00:25:21

I don't know if it's normal, but I feel the same way. Just about to finish my degree but I know there's very little chance of me getting a job afterwards. The scary thing is the welfare reforms that mean I'm really fucked if I don't get a job sad

AlmostAJillSandwich Thu 23-Mar-17 00:26:55

Had to drop out of school at 15, never managed to even finish schooling lt alone have a job, it makes me feel lower than dirt, like prisons full of murderers etc are better than me as they could actually do something to benefit others when i can't. It's bloody horrible.

11122aa Thu 23-Mar-17 00:27:27

My parrents will probably give me enough to buy hobby things which suits them as they like to control me.

BBCNewsRave Thu 23-Mar-17 00:41:24

I'm in the same boat; also studying atm. Thing is, I have worked before (intermittently!) and just thought I'd somehow get back to it, but don't seem to be regaining any capability years later...

What we really need is recognition that some people can only manage part-time work and benefits to refect that. So you might get, say, 50% disability benefits but work 20 hrs. Or something.

It would be great if a load of us could pool our knowledge and start a business and employ others like us. OP can be our legal bod. wink smile

Almost it makes me feel lower than dirt, like prisons full of murderers etc are better than me as they could actually do something to benefit others when i can't.

Erm - it's an awful lot better to not have a job than to go and kill someone! (regardless of what Tories say... hmm) Remember we live in a bonkers society than has a very narrow definition of what's "worthwhile"... paid work isn't everything. I know it feels beyond shit though. sad

potatoscowls Thu 23-Mar-17 01:04:08

Similar situation here - I'm starting Law at uni in September but I'm severely autistic with PTSD. Even the most basic daily tasks take hours to complete, I can't gauge the passage of time... there's just no way I could have a job. I accomplish so little each day. Not a useful post but I understand how you feel OP. Just do your best, that's all you can do, and be kind and patient with yourself.

caroldecker Thu 23-Mar-17 01:05:01

Given that 16 year olds have jobs to support them through studies, it is unlikely that you cannot get a job, only you cannot get a job that suits you.

FreeNiki Thu 23-Mar-17 01:09:30

And yet you managed to get a place at university and presumably are keeping up with the work or the university would have intervened by now.

Perhaps try not to decide your fate as it will become a self fulfilling prophecy.

5OBalesofHay Thu 23-Mar-17 01:11:16

Why would you take on the debt of a degree with no prospect of a job at the end of it? Surely if you can't work you can't study? Aren't the requirements similar in terms of getting stuff done?

WildBelle Thu 23-Mar-17 01:19:51

In my case, the debt of the degree is irrelevant if I can't get a job as it doesn't have to be paid back until I earn over £21k, which isn't likely to happen.

And the way in which studying is different - if I have not slept (have PTSD/depression/anxiety), or am just feeling like I can't cope, then I don't go to uni. I miss a lecture but that's not the end of the world. If I'm struggling I can get extensions for my work. With a job those things aren't possibly, you have to be there reliably and be firing on all cylinders to do the job you are paid to do.

WildBelle Thu 23-Mar-17 01:20:02

*possible

FreeNiki Thu 23-Mar-17 01:23:53

I miss a lecture but that's not the end of the world. If I'm struggling I can get extensions for my work.

They'll only grant extensions so many times.

The more lectures you miss the more you play catch up and the closer you get to finals you do not want to be playing catch up along with revision for the rest of it.

mylaptopismylapdog Thu 23-Mar-17 01:26:01

Have found the following articles which I hope will be useful: -
www.autism.com/advocacy_grandin_job
www.psychologytoday.com/blog/spectrum-solutions/201007/how-find-your-career-the-autism-spectrum
Even if you are unable to find paid work, a knowledge of law may be useful in the voluntary sector and may suit you better.

Rubies12345 Thu 23-Mar-17 01:28:25

OP, do you really think there's no type of job you could do? Is customers/clients the problem? I sometimes see an advert for working in the stock room of a shop

What about working with animals at a kennels or dog walking.

WildBelle Thu 23-Mar-17 01:35:39

Niki - I've been granted an extension whenever I've needed one, but I do try to keep up with everything as it's horrible having to catch up.

sailawaywithme Thu 23-Mar-17 01:39:37

potatoscowls Can I suggest, with kindness, that you may want to rethink doing a Law degree, if you struggle with Day-to-day tasks? Law is a particularly gruelling area of study, and jobs/internships are fiercely competitive. Even for neurotypical, mentally-healthy people. I am a former attorney and would hate to see you struggle the way some of my classmates did. It would be terrible for you to incur all that debt and come out without a well-paying job that you like. Cards on tables - I regret going to lawschool and it sounds like this is not a good fit for you.

sobeyondthehills Thu 23-Mar-17 01:40:13

OP

I am 35, and have been classed as disabled through mental health reasons now for 3 years.

It really gets me down, I thought I would be back in work by a year, however the one thing that keeps me going, is the fact there is a job out there for me. It might not be one I want, but one I can cope with, even if its means being self employed and doing something small that brings in a bit of money. The business I had before is probably not going to happen again, but there might be something else I can do. Just need to think outside the box.

EmiliaAirheart Thu 23-Mar-17 04:08:42

Well OP, your question seems a bit defeatist, but of course you're answering it within the context of your own experiences and beliefs.

I am sure the number of people who are forever unemployable and unsuitable for volunteer work in any position in all circumstances is quite small.

The number of people who are employable in specific circumstances would be much higher. Many in this group could work if the circumstances were different (such if they could find a flexible employer and a position well-suited to their strengths and weaknesses, could create their own small business, or if they lived without any family support or were in a country without a strong social security system and had no other choice).

The question is, which of these groups are you in? If it's the second group, is there anything you can work towards to find something that fits for you?

Engaging in meaningful, productive activity doesn't need to be working full-time - it could be part-time or casual work, volunteering, self-employment, or study. When each of us do what we can, in the way we can, it's good for us and helps contribute to society.

Mummyoflittledragon Thu 23-Mar-17 04:57:23

You have many skills. You're managing a highly stressful degree. I imagine you have many skills I don't have as an NT person. Can you sit down with an experienced careers advice person and find them? You won't be the first person they've met in your situation.

KoalaDownUnder Thu 23-Mar-17 05:22:58

Surely there are very, very few people who can get through a degree but are unable to do any type of job. confused

Swanlake123 Thu 23-Mar-17 05:31:33

As a previous poster said, why are you attending university to attain a degree if you don't think you will be able to gain a job at the end of it in order to re pay the debt?

You say it's irrelevant to you as you won't pay it back until earning over 21k but what's the point in going in the first place if that's never your intention

SuperBeagle Thu 23-Mar-17 05:56:37

A Law degree is one of the most broadly applicable degrees out there. There aren't many industries/organisations who won't accept a Law degree as an acceptable qualification.

You need to address (professionally) your mental health problems and find a way to manage your autism and dyspraxia. It's possible. But it's not going to happen if you don't want it to happen and you don't put forth the effort to address it.

Very few people are completely incapable of working. The fact that you're studying at uni is testament to your ability to work.

Whattodo23 Thu 23-Mar-17 06:11:07

Will sound unkind but if you can complete a degree you can hold down a job of some sort. Why assume its an impossibility? If there was no welfare state I imagine this wouldn't cross your mind.

GrinAndTonic Thu 23-Mar-17 06:13:22

You can do more then you think you can.
A friend of mine was told that she would never achieve anything.
She went to uni and now has a law and accounting degree. She works for the government as a tax lawyer. She drives a car, she recently got married and just bought a house with her husband. She competes competitively in open water ocean swimming and has a great social and work life.
She also has no arms and does everything with her feet.
You can do it.

user1471548941 Thu 23-Mar-17 06:28:10

Don't give up! I have autism and work for an investment bank. The work is repetitive and procedure driven meaning I can follow tick lists to complete the tasks. I have support from
occupational health (after leaving a couple of jobs because I couldn't cope, going into a massive company meant they actually have the best support services) and it is accepted that I have much less tolerance for sensory issues, change and stress. My boss has made a real effort to understand my autism and knows to only give one instruction at once, allow me time to process before responding to questions and help me with prioritising and writing a to do list. For example questions he asks others verbally, he will email me so I have time to process my thoughts and put together a response. A quiet office space is available should I be overwhelmed by the noise of the main office.

It has taken a really long time to get here as I wasn't diagnosed until 23 and was floundering in a couple of other jobs first. But my current employer actively seeks out people with autism as they see the "different way of thinking" as a strength. My manager is interested, rather than put off and if I'm stressed, he wants to understand what's triggering it and help mitigate it. With these adjustments I can be a productive member of the team and that I am valued for the work I do. My colleagues accept my differences; although I sometimes ask odd questions about how to deal with a social situation, they see my brilliant long term memory for past work and procedures as a strength they like to draw on. My work is not legal but in a asimilar vein. PM me if you want to know more.

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