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"Are you on your period"

(111 Posts)
nicetoseeyoutoseeyounice Wed 22-Mar-17 22:05:28

If I snap or I'm angry about something my OH immediately assumes I'm on my period!! Why? Does my opinion not matter any other time of the month? Does anyone else's dp just assume they are on their monthly every time they are a bit arsey? Aibu to think this is a ridiculous assumption?

FeliciaJollygoodfellow Wed 22-Mar-17 22:08:59

No because he's not an arsehole.

I think he once made that 'joke' hmm when we were first together and I went apoplectic at him. Screamed at him that I am ALLOWED to be angry or upset without it being hormonal and how DARE he trivialise my feelings. I made it clear to him that for me, I spent long enough having to bat off boys at school and my dad dismissing my very real feelings and I just would not accept it from a partner.

He was a bit lot taken aback but he never said it again.

Ask him - what's his fucking excuse for being a dickhead?

Mungobungo Wed 22-Mar-17 22:09:43

That's just rude.

feedingducks Wed 22-Mar-17 22:10:11

I had a university lecturer who truly couldn't believe how women coped with everyday life given the ups and downs of all those hormones....

When he says it again tell him you can't cope with cooking or cleaning obviously, take thee to bed with a hot water bottle and let him do the work. Even when you aren't on a monthly. He will soon realise his argument has no basis (-:

Mungobungo Wed 22-Mar-17 22:10:12

And actually pretty juvenile.

DartmoorDoughnut Wed 22-Mar-17 22:10:23

What felicia said, DH tried that shit once about eight years ago

MangoSplit Wed 22-Mar-17 22:11:37

YANBU and I would find this absolutely infuriating. My DH would never say this.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Wed 22-Mar-17 22:15:08

He felt comfortable making that statement more than once to you. Interesting. I have had men ask me if I'm on my period. No one has ever done it twice. Why do you tolerate it?

MrsTwix Wed 22-Mar-17 22:16:44

Apart from anything else I'm fine when I'm on my period. It's the week before that everyone should keep well clear....

PacificDogwod Wed 22-Mar-17 22:18:07

It's a way to shut down debate, dismiss you, make damn sure that anything further you might say is somehow invalidated because you are a victim to your hormones.

It is misogynistic shite and needs to be challenged every fucking time angry

nicetoseeyoutoseeyounice Wed 22-Mar-17 22:28:44

He also had joked today that when my daughter reaches "that age" we will both be banned to the shed during our periods!!! He thinks he's so funny. How disrespectful.

shinynewusername Wed 22-Mar-17 22:34:00

He also had joked today that when my daughter reaches "that age" we will both be banned to the shed during our periods

How lovely. Does he know that millions of girls miss out on education and are at risk of sexual assault because of rules like this? What a laugh.

haveacupoftea Wed 22-Mar-17 22:35:53

No, he's often immature and finds farts hilarious but no period jokes or comments in my house confused

BellonaBelladonna Wed 22-Mar-17 22:38:49

I've had it said at work. shock
I would not tolerate it from a partner.
Misogynistic crap.

Coverup890 Wed 22-Mar-17 22:42:46

My partner says similar. Its just a way of ignoring whats upsetting me as im just being hormonal and so anything that comes out of my mouth isnt serious.

morningconstitutional2017 Wed 22-Mar-17 22:44:12

My DH never asked this but have heard it from others. My response went along the lines of, "No, you're annoying all the time."
It usually shut them up especially when accompanied by a hard death stare.

MrDacresEUSubsidy Wed 22-Mar-17 22:46:20

He also had joked today that when my daughter reaches "that age" we will both be banned to the shed during our periods!!! He thinks he's so funny.

He doesn't sound funny - he sounds like a sexist twat. And I would tell him that. What a shame that he can't even rein in his own misogyny from his own daughter. Some Father.

MaximaDeWit Wed 22-Mar-17 22:47:13

Yes, I get this regularly. I tend to counter with "what's your excuse for acting like a fucking dick?" I just read him this thread and he started justifying it. I told him maybe men just have a sense for a woman who's about to get her period and they have actually evolved to behave unreasonably at that time of the month.

Knifegrinder Wed 22-Mar-17 22:49:09

Please see lengthy current Mn thread called 'How over-emotional do you get before your period?'

PacificDogwod Wed 22-Mar-17 22:49:10

It's funny how short-tempered or unreasonable or irrational behaviour by men is not routinely blamed on their hormones when it is recognised that testosterone can make aggressive and impulsive.

But that's men so that's different hmm

MeadowHay Wed 22-Mar-17 22:50:41

That's a horrid, disrespectful, sexist comment to make! If my DH ever said that to me he'd know where to go!! But he never would say anything as horrible and sexist as that anyway. Plus he always knows when I'm on my period as I moan about it constantly and he sees me in the bathroom changing sanpro and whatnot -shrug-.

Ignoranus Wed 22-Mar-17 22:50:48

My DH makes a joke about it too. If he realises I'm on my period he says 'oh I thought I saw the ants coming in the house again' as though me being on draws them in. 😂

sniffle12 Wed 22-Mar-17 22:51:42

I can see your annoyance in this case so YANBU.

But weirdly, sometimes when I'm in the pit of despair and randomly crying at nothing, DH will say "you're not due to be on soon are you?" and I'll realise that yes, yes I am PMS-ing big time and hadn't realised. So in that case it's helpful grin

Casmama Wed 22-Mar-17 22:53:25

You owe it to your daughter if not to yourself to come down on him like a ton of bricks every time he says this sort of thing until he stops. Ask him if he would be comfortable with anyone else dismissing his daughters thoughts and feelings by attempting to humiliate her into silence.
Like other posters, I think my dh may have said such a thing once but has not repeated the error.

thequeenoftarts Wed 22-Mar-17 22:56:45

Hope he really likes that shed he is so fond of...He would be relocating to it permanently...

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