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To be so humiliated about the fact I have achieved nothing with my life?

(106 Posts)
FlinchGirl Wed 22-Mar-17 21:00:44

And I really mean nothing.

I'm 24 and I still live at home with my parents. I have never had a full time job, I have only worked in dead end part time catering jobs. I want an admin assistant job and a full time one at that but I never even get to the interview stage. I have had interviews for jobs in retail and for bar work but they all end in rejection.

I feel like such a screw up because I have done nothing with my life. I have no friends and have never really had them. I have never had a boyfriend.

I am currently studying with the open university and I will get a BA (Hons) degree at the end of it assuming I manage to complete it but I'm not sure how it will be viewed. I will be at least 27 by the time I finish it and I don't know if it will be too late to start a career in my late 20s

I feel so sad because everyone else my age is out there enjoying their careers, getting married, having babies and just generally out having fun and living their lives. Yet here's me who is still working part time in catering at the age of 24 whilst studying online part time and living at home with no life whatsoever and in desperate need to lose weight.

Have I completely screwed my life up?

Curioushorse Wed 22-Mar-17 21:02:38

Nope. You haven't screwed up anything.

Any ideas if there's anything you might like to do?

FlinchGirl Wed 22-Mar-17 21:04:20

Despite what my OP sounds like; I like writing and am pretty good at it so maybe a job that involves a lot of writing.

For now though I just want a bloody full time job so I can move out.

EastMidsMummy Wed 22-Mar-17 21:06:09

Don't worry! You've got loads of time yet to screw your life up...

24!? You'll look back on this period of your life in 10/20/30 years time and never believe you were so young. You're young, getting a degree, with most of your life ahead of you.

Good luck!

Koala101 Wed 22-Mar-17 21:07:56

What do you want to get out of posting? Sympathy and hugs or a wake up call? I'm more of a wake up call kind of person but not going to post anything if you aren't up to hearing...

BettyBaggins Wed 22-Mar-17 21:09:00

No you haven't screwed up. You've got loads of time to do that yet wink

Sounds like you might need to work on your people skills if you find friendships hard work. Are you shy? What do think might be the issue?

Can you do some volunteering in a charity that needs admin help to gain skills? There are online training courses for legal secretaries for example which would give you some pretty valuable skills and the pay can be great.

The fact that you are putting yourself through an online degree is pretty fantastic! Well done you!!

FlinchGirl Wed 22-Mar-17 21:09:11

You can give me a wake up call if you want.

Stitchfusion Wed 22-Mar-17 21:09:41

Why are you living at home? Why are you studying part time only?

I ask you those questions because the answers to them will help you move forward. There is nothing wrong with any of those life choices. There is a lot to be said for being a good daughter.

I think 24 is a turning point for a lot of people. Its when they can no longer pretend, even to themselves, that they are still children, and as such, they have a need to list their achievements, to boast about them, and generally 'big themselves up', either for their own benefit or others.
I think you need to work on your self confidence, and you can do that by recognising your life choices are valid, and stop comparing yourself to others.

EmpressOfTheSpartacusOceans Wed 22-Mar-17 21:10:03

Honestly, 24, even 27, is nothing. I more or less started over from scratch at 40, new career, everything. You've got plenty of time.

Misspilly88 Wed 22-Mar-17 21:10:34

Yet!!! You have so much time. Grab life by the horns. It's never too late to start a career, change career or start a new one. It's so disheartening to hear anyone saying things like this.

ShowMePotatoSalad Wed 22-Mar-17 21:10:46

Focus on your degree. Don't be ashamed of the work you're doing. Nothing wrong with it at all. You sound like you work hard educationally and in your employment. That means you're not a screw up.

If you have any spare time can you do some volunteering work? That might help you get some admin experience to add to your CV.

At 24 you should be enjoying your life. Don't worry lass, you're doing fine. smileflowers

Daydream007 Wed 22-Mar-17 21:11:16

No you haven't screwed up. Lots of people your age and older are in your position. It's never to late to start a career and you are doing something positive by studying for your future.

FlinchGirl Wed 22-Mar-17 21:11:38

I live at home because my mum is autistic and my dad sometimes guilt trips me into staying to look after her.

FataliePorkman Wed 22-Mar-17 21:12:34

You are still very, very young OP. I know it doesn't feel like it now- but you are.

I'm not much older than yourself but similar back story. Worked in dead end jobs until I had enough at 25 and went and got myself a job I loved- which has lead to me starting my own business.

I got into my chosen career by doing some volunteering- sure I worked jolly hard at it for no pay but it was experience to put on my CV and a reference for future employers. Plus it does look good to them.

As for the marriage and babies- again, your still very young. Go and live a bit more of your life before you even start thinking about it- not to mention these things have a habit of appearing when you stop looking for them!

I'm 28 with 2 DC and my third on the way- I don't for a second regret having them but I do sometimes I feel I had left my 20s for "me".

FlinchGirl Wed 22-Mar-17 21:12:39

But I don't want to stay forever. I want to live my on life at some point.

gamerchick Wed 22-Mar-17 21:13:00

You're 24 man confused Christ you have a lot of years left.

Baby steps, keep that drive you've got going.

uglyflowers Wed 22-Mar-17 21:13:14

I was on the dole from 18-24. I did NOTHING. I was a punk so it was cool etc etc. Aged 24 I did a degree in English, then trained as a teacher then worked as one which I was very good at. Later I moved to another country on my own, and at 31 met my now husband, had 2 kids, started to home ed them, bought my own house and now run my own tutoring business. When I was 24, I repeat, I had done NOTHING. You have your whole life ahead of you.

LilacSpatula Wed 22-Mar-17 21:13:20

Yep, you have ages! I've always found the hardest part is deciding what you want. Once you've done that, find out what you need to do and make it happen.

BeyondThePage Wed 22-Mar-17 21:13:57

haha I'm 52 and still don't know what I want to do when I grow up...

You sound pretty switched on, studying for a degree etc.

Decide what you want to do and just go for it.

Apply for 200 admin posts, let people know you want an admin job - then if they hear that someone has a job going they may mention your name... (that is how I got my latest job)

uglyflowers Wed 22-Mar-17 21:14:37

Oh and I've always been fat too 😁

FataliePorkman Wed 22-Mar-17 21:15:20

OP- you are an adult now. While it is your Mum and you need to support her it can't be at the expense of your own happiness.

Do what YOU want to do- not your parents.

FataliePorkman Wed 22-Mar-17 21:15:50

Maybe also look for an apprenticeship?

InvisibleKittenAttack Wed 22-Mar-17 21:17:26

Ah, the quarter life crisis. Lots of my friends had dramatic career / life changes at 24/25. 27 isn't too old to be starting a new career, as many people do just that in the mid-late 20s.

The wake up call might be what you need. can you look at moving to study full time? Ideally at a uni away from home to force you to move?

Do you know what you want to do with your degree once you got it?

Worth remembering, 30 is now the average age of the first time mother, so at 24 you've got ages to get that part of your life sorted.

Moving away might well be the making of you. Overseas study an option you'd consider?

ViolentDelights Wed 22-Mar-17 21:17:37

I started an OU degree at 23, finished when I was 27. It's always been viewed favourably and hasn't held me back from enrolling on a masters course at a rg uni or being accepted for a PGCE.

Bellebullerebelle Wed 22-Mar-17 21:18:04

Can empathise, but if you want it you're going to have to go out and get it. Start with the weight loss, it's a shorter term target and something that will motivate you to achieve everything else. Although I say this as an overweight, underachieving 28 year old. I get so jealous of the success of everyone else but this past week have applied and accepted a place at uni to start a course that will hopefully get me somewhere. It will take 6 years to finally qualify by which time I'll be 34 but hopefully then I'll be able to buy a house, get a nice car and enjoy some nice holidays. Might be a little late but it's never too late to start!

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