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Should after school club meet DDs needs

(8 Posts)
IsithormonesoramIamadcow Wed 22-Mar-17 17:29:54

Changed my username after my sister found my other one - but I am a regular mumsnetter.

DD is 3 and goes the after school club once a week. She's been going since Christmas. She has real issues with toileting and we are working with her nursery with a bit of success. However she has wet herself at every single after school club session. DD has some speech delay and finds it hard to ask to go. The toilets are in the junior part of the school and so are large (and end of the day filthy) they have fire doors for access which DD is not strong enough to push open. Basically she is scared of using them, but the staff expect her to go and manage by herself. - She can do this in the nursery and at home... the session is from 3.15 to 4.30 and they take children from age 3.

Today I picked her up soaking again, they didn't want me to take her to the loo and help her get sorted due to 'safeguarding issues' in case there were other children in the loos. So DD was sent in by herself and got stuck and very upset.

AIBU to think that the staff should be helping DD with this ( I have discussed it with them on a couple of occasions and one of the staff is a nursery assistant in DDs class.) Or should I just accept that she is not ready for the after school club.

GrassWillBeGreener Wed 22-Mar-17 17:36:12

If they are taking 3 yr olds in the afterschool club then I would have thought some degree of toiletting supervision needed to be incorporated in their plans. Especially given the doors - I imagine reception kids find it difficult too. Alternatively ask them to ensure that all young children (eg 5 and under) using the club are taken to the bathrooms in foundation prior to the session - not perfect but might be the simplest solution.

Thebookswereherfriends Wed 22-Mar-17 17:38:07

I do an after school club two days a week and the little ones I always go and push the door open for them and then stand outside until they come out - if i have more than 4 children then all the children have to come and stand down where i can see them rather than leaving a couple in the hall.
I think that is mean to deliberately allow her to struggle and they should say if it is not possible to help.

harderandharder2breathe Wed 22-Mar-17 17:40:20

If they take 3 year olds they need to be prepared for some to still need help going to the toilet.

I've known 7 year olds unable to open big heavy doors, so surely not unusual for 3 year olds!

Trifleorbust Wed 22-Mar-17 17:44:44

My perspective is a little different: they aren't obliged to provide this wraparound (I assume?) so they can quite reasonably say they can only cater for 3 year olds who are able to take themselves to the toilet. Is it a staffing issue?

redexpat Wed 22-Mar-17 17:47:50

If she cant talk can you agree on some sign language that she uses to show she needs to go?

IsithormonesoramIamadcow Wed 22-Mar-17 17:49:50

They are expected to go in the nursery before they come to the club, but DD is not really mature enough to go 'just in case' and then needs to go again when she actually needs to go IYSWIM.

Ruby2202 Wed 22-Mar-17 17:55:31

Could you ask the nursery staff to make sure she goes before after school club pick her up? End of day is a bit stressful but surely it wouldn't take much for one of the nursery staff to take her.

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