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To think this doesn't mean she lied and people need to leave her alone?

(15 Posts)
user1490186326 Wed 22-Mar-17 12:58:54

A friend of mine went to the police recently and made an allegation of rape against another friend of ours. She has now withdrawn the allegations.

Obviously I don't know what happened between them as I wasn't there but AIBU to think that just because she has withdrawn her claim doesn't mean she was lying about being raped?

I feel bad for her as she is now being ostracized from the whole group of friends and is now being branded a liar and has people demanding that the police should charge her.

Again I wasn't there so I don't know what happened but she did say to me that she never wanted to report it in the first place but was pressurized into reporting it by her sister after she told her what happened.

I think people should leave her alone.

BillSykesDog Wed 22-Mar-17 13:03:12

That's very sad. It doesn't mean she lied, people withdraw allegations for all sorts of reasons. It doesn't sound like they were friends worth keeping though.

WorraLiberty Wed 22-Mar-17 13:06:18

Yes I think people should keep out of it.

She might not have lied, or she might have lied.

No-one will ever know.

Shoxfordian Wed 22-Mar-17 13:10:05

That's horrible for your friend

There could be several reasons why she would withdraw her case; and it definitely doesn't mean she was lying

I hope you can be supportive to her op

Gileswithachainsaw Wed 22-Mar-17 13:12:08

Your poor friend. Of course it doesn't mean she lied how are people to stupid to see that sad


snotato Wed 22-Mar-17 13:13:56

Of course it doesn't mean she lied.

LolaTheDarkdestroyer Wed 22-Mar-17 13:14:07

From everyone else point of view though she went to the trouble of making the allegations..and didn't follow them through. It doesn't look good as it's a serious thing to accuse someone of and to not follow through with it would leave doubt in my mind, as you would want the person punished.

DearMrDilkington Wed 22-Mar-17 13:15:30

Your poor friend. Well done for sticking by her, you sound like a wonderful friend. flowers

I hope her other "friends" stfu soon, it's the last thing she needs.

DearMrDilkington Wed 22-Mar-17 13:17:38

as you would want the person punished.

In my case and a lot of other cases, this simply isn't true. You want to forget about it and look after yourself. You want to save yourself the trauma of court and any publicity during such a horrible time.

MoominMamma3 Wed 22-Mar-17 13:19:11

Your poor friend flowers please look after her after your other friends have treated her so awfully sad

ScarlettFreestone Wed 22-Mar-17 13:24:08

Come on Lola you must be more empathetic than that!

The woman makes the allegation, suffers a huge backlash from friends and faces massive pressure from people telling her that X wouldn't do that and that it's her fault for being drunk/unclear etc.

Meanwhile the police tell her there's no evidence and that going to court will me a he said/she said nightmare.

I can well see why someone might withdraw allegations.

The stats for false rape reporting are very low. Far less than for other crimes. It's just that when you say you were victim of theft people don't immediately question your honesty, memory and character.

BitchQueen90 Wed 22-Mar-17 13:29:52

Lola no, she may just be afraid that people won't believe her and he may not end up being convicted of anything. It's very hard to get a conviction in some circumstances.

You're right OP. YANBU

havingabadhairday Wed 22-Mar-17 13:31:30

Lola I was abused as a child, eventually contacted the police but decided not to go ahead because it was going to turn my whole life upside down and given that it was something that happened a long time ago, chances are that nobody would get punished anyway.

There are many, many reasons why someone would decide to drop an allegation like this and most of them aren't because the allegation was a lie.

justnowords Wed 22-Mar-17 13:34:35

YANBU, Its sadly one of the many battles that victims face. Given that the conviction rate is something like 6% the odds were stacked against her. Im not surprised that she has chosen not to take it any further, as if he wasn't convicted (and it would be most likely he wasnt) then this knowledge would be even more public and your friend open to accusations of lying.

Mutella Thu 23-Mar-17 16:43:50

Your poor friend. Some battles are so hard, and justice is never guaranteed. I would never assume a woman who withdrew allegations was lying. Id just think tbere wasnt enough evidence to toget a conviction

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