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To be hurt by my dh comment about my weight

(325 Posts)
givemestrengthorgin Wed 22-Mar-17 09:48:56

Getting ready this morning I commented to dh that he was still as slim as he was when we meet 18 years ago. He laughed and said, "well you've put on enough for both of us". While it might be true (probably about 3 stone since we met) I have carried two babies who are still young (3 and 18 months). I'm fully aware that I've put on a lot of weight and so while his comment is true it's still hurtful. When I told him I was upset by what he had said his response was, "well you have" (put on weight enough for two). Am I being too sensitive or is this a shitty thing to say even if it is true?

malika54 Wed 22-Mar-17 09:50:54

He's a twat flowers

LouKout Wed 22-Mar-17 09:51:51

Quite shitty

moonchild77 Wed 22-Mar-17 09:52:00

That's a shite thing to say.

PaulaBBB Wed 22-Mar-17 09:52:13

That's a horrible thing to say to someone

WorraLiberty Wed 22-Mar-17 09:53:55

That's just nasty.

And even nastier is that he reiterated it when you told him you were hurt.

MissGoggins Wed 22-Mar-17 09:54:25

That is on page one of the don't be a twat handbook.

What could he have said that would have been ok? Is he usually good at accepting compliments?

MadMags Wed 22-Mar-17 09:55:10

Wow. Prick.

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia Wed 22-Mar-17 09:55:34

what were you looking for when you said that to him? Talk about being set up!

there's NO answer in the world that wouldn't offend. ...a simple "thanks" from him implies he cannot return the compliment, a "you too" is obviously a lie if you are 3stone up, and to say nothing at all just hangs in the air like a bad smell

Poor guy.

AliciaMayEmory Wed 22-Mar-17 09:56:57

He's a dick. You are not being over sensitive at all. My DH would never comment on my weight like this. Even if it were true.

TheNaze73 Wed 22-Mar-17 09:57:52

You backed him into a corner there. Not nice but, whatever he'd of said would have been wrong

WorraLiberty Wed 22-Mar-17 09:59:07

A simple thanks would have been fine.

If the OP got offended by that, I'd say she was the one who was out of order.

Sallygoroundthemoon Wed 22-Mar-17 09:59:07

It's shitty but obviously true so it sounds like something that bothers him. I'm sorry he was such a dick about it though.

ems137 Wed 22-Mar-17 09:59:40

Erm I can think of many kinder responses than the one he used!!

He didn't even need to lie and say "so are you" he could have just said and "you look beautiful in the picture and you still do"

I think it was plain nasty tbh and my DH is hardly sensitive but even he wouldn't say something like that!

LouKout Wed 22-Mar-17 09:59:56

Poor guy? Wtf

MrsChopper Wed 22-Mar-17 10:00:18

That was a bit of a shitty thing to say.

Twopeapods Wed 22-Mar-17 10:00:40

Horrible thing for him to say. flowers

MadMags Wed 22-Mar-17 10:01:00

Thanks would have been fine, ffs.

Poor guy! hmm

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 Wed 22-Mar-17 10:01:19

Actually I would like my dh to point out my weight gain!! I know it needs to come off and his honesty would spur me on!!
I know he loves me regardless and he him self is a chunk (still fancy him etc no change from when we met!) but health wise being slimmer would benefit us both!
Maybe your dh loves you so much he feels he can be straight with you. .

Chloe84 Wed 22-Mar-17 10:01:39

I think YABU and YANBU. It depends on the tone of his voice. Was he being judgemental or matter of fact?

Perfectly fine to have put on some weight. I would have told him he's not the one that had to carry two babies.

However, do you expect him to never mention weight? If my DH puts on weight, I worry about his heart, cholesterol etc and will mention it to him. I would expect him to do the same to me.

bigbuttons Wed 22-Mar-17 10:02:05

What did you want him to say to you? Ideally he should have just thanked you for the compliment, that's true. But 3 stone is a lot of weight to have put on, babies are not an excuse.
If you are happy with your weight gain then the comment shouldn't bother you. If you are unhappy then own it and do something about it.

TisMeTheLadFromTheBar Wed 22-Mar-17 10:03:14

That is fiercely insensitive.

Bluntness100 Wed 22-Mar-17 10:03:22

This is a bit like "does my bum look big in this". He can't win, even saying thanks and nothing else could have been hurtful if you feel sensitive.

Yes he was insensitive, but like a lot of people, he may have thought he was just being factual.

Maybe the bigger issue is how you feel about your weight? Three stone isn't huge, but guess it depends on your starting weight.

GotToGetMyFingerOut Wed 22-Mar-17 10:03:34

Well I appreciate my husband being honest about my weight because I can Los myself on and pretend it's not as bad as it was even though I was unhappy. So it helped spur me on to do something. It obviously bothers him, although maybe he shouldn't of say it so offensively by saying you had gained enough for both of you.

How do you feel about your weight open?

GotToGetMyFingerOut Wed 22-Mar-17 10:03:55

Op not open

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