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Mother selling gifts bought for child - AIBU?

(140 Posts)
FantomPhairy Tue 21-Mar-17 21:24:18

Genuinely not sure if Aibu.

We bought gifts for toddler dn for combination birthday/xmas in December. All of which have been put up for sale on local social media site by dn's mum all unopened in packaging.

Gifts were toys and age appropriate. Dn loves playing with similar items when visiting us so know they would have been enjoyed.

Now I appreciate with both bday and cmas in December, there may have been surplus gifts but we had put thought into selecting them for dn and if we had have known they were going to be sold, would have gladly donated them instead.

AIBU to be really annoyed that all of these items we had got as gifts for dn have been sold and should I say anything to dn's mum?

Coldilox Tue 21-Mar-17 21:28:08

We've sold on stuff if we've been given duplicates.

ThePiglet59 Tue 21-Mar-17 21:29:03

I would be annoyed too, but what rotten sod buys a combination Xmas/birthday gift?

FantomPhairy Tue 21-Mar-17 21:29:49

Sorry there was four gifts in total, two birthday, two xmas

sonyaya Tue 21-Mar-17 21:30:54

YANBU. How rude to do it publicly too

MrsGsnow18 Tue 21-Mar-17 21:32:15

I can see why you are annoyed as you put thought and effort into the gifts. It's prob like you said though with a birthday and Xmas so close there were prob a lot of duplicate gifts or too many gifts to play with. With my niece who has a similar birthday/Xmas together I usually give her money for one as that way later on in year she can spend it.
Try not to take it personally as hopefully they are not doing it to offend you. You could always ask next time what they would like gift wise.

WhipMaWhop Tue 21-Mar-17 21:35:18

There was a woman on a local fb selling group that was selling one of her kid's presents on Christmas Day!
Someone asked her if it had been a gift and she just said yes and it wasn't needed!

Notso Tue 21-Mar-17 22:00:28

Unless there is a massive back story and she is doing it out of spite I would just assume there is a genuine reason for her selling them and that any money from the sale will go to DN.
We got 3 or 4 versions of Guess Who in December and we already had two versions from older DC. I sold or regifted the surplus and gave DC the money.

TheresABluebirdOnMyShoulder Tue 21-Mar-17 22:05:04

I don't think there's anything wrong with what she's doing, although it's a little rude to sell them on FB where you can clearly see.

She may have received duplicate gifts and is selling them with a view to putting the money in DN's piggy bank. It's not necessarily that she doesn't appreciate your gift, but children don't need multiple identical toys and if she sells them then she can buy DN something else instead.

Mehfruittea Tue 21-Mar-17 22:13:25

Perhaps give gift receipts with any other presents? Or offer to take DN to toy shop as a trip out to choose her own presents? DS is 5 and this year is first year we took him to a toy shop with birthday money to buy toys. He was very good in understanding there was a limit and got really excited just by the experience!

TheRealPooTroll Tue 21-Mar-17 22:16:17

Bad form of her advertise them for sale where the giver can see imo. But maybe next time ask if there's anything sn would like/need then you know it will be appreciated.

ny20005 Tue 21-Mar-17 22:19:40

I have sold pil presents in the past. Mil never asked what kids had or wanted & sometimes bought really inappropriate gifts. I learned to say thank you & hide them. Then sell & but something child did want

I didn't do it publicly where pil would see unlike my sil, who donated all the clothes bought to charity shop near my pil's 🙄

AtSea1979 Tue 21-Mar-17 22:19:48

I second including gift receipts or getting gift voucher next time

Only1scoop Tue 21-Mar-17 22:28:41

I have been known to re gift a duplicate but selling on SM seems somewhat brazen

BestZebbie Tue 21-Mar-17 22:41:55

Were they gifts that could easily fit into a home, or something like a trampoline or rocking animal that takes up lots of space?

Porpoiselife Tue 21-Mar-17 22:46:11

YANBU it's rude and ungrateful

lalalalyra Tue 21-Mar-17 23:19:58

I sold several Christmas presents my kids were given. They were either duplicate items or ones the kids wouldn't play with. So they were sold and the kids chose new toys that they do play with with the money.

What's the issue with that? There's no point in my DS having 3 junior scrabble games. Or my DD having 2 of the same bing blender.

FantomPhairy Wed 22-Mar-17 00:47:20

Sorry to dripfeed and thank you for the replies so far.

With regards to duplicate gifts, I can absolutely understand there would be no point in keeping in this case and wouldn't have an issue with the recipient exchanging or selling. None of the gifts were duplicates or awkward items. Think along the lines of happy land figures and bath toys.

I actually did ask if there was anything we could get dn prior to getting anything and was told there was nothing in particular.

I guess I'm just pissed off that dn wasn't given an opportunity to enjoy our gifts even though they would have loved them and the openly selling them right where all can see. Just seems really ungrateful tbh!

mummyto2monkeys Wed 22-Mar-17 00:48:04

There were really duplicates of all four presents? That seems very unlikely, yes perhaps one of the gifts but all four is very strange. Do you get on with your sil/ sister? Do they have limited space for toys? Do they seem short of cash? If it was my sister I would be upfront and ask, if my sil I would get my husband to ask/ ask my brother what was wrong with thegifts. Were the toys particularly noisy? My husband used to joke that all the noisy toys had to stay at grandparents house 😂.

Whatever their reason its best to ask now, rather than let resentment grow and wondering if they will sell all of the future gifts you buy your dn.

SugarLoveHeart Wed 22-Mar-17 00:55:25

I think selling gifts is awful. Donating to charity is much better. Don't buy your nephew anymore gifts.

FreeNiki Wed 22-Mar-17 00:56:40

The next time give a gift certificate and if anything is said say well you sold the last presents i bought her so i thought it best you choose.

highinthesky Wed 22-Mar-17 00:58:51

YANBU. I think monetising it in this way is the height of rudeness.

If you don't want the gift, don't accept it. Let someone else benefit instead.

anothermalteserplease Wed 22-Mar-17 02:34:04

Ouch. That hurts. But tbh sometimes kids can just get too many toys. It becomes overwhelming. I wouldn't sell brand new toys especially on social media. But sometimes I do despair of the excess amount of stuff my children are given. You gave 4 gifts. What if everyone gave 4 gifts? That's quickly adding up to unmanageable levels there.

Joinourclub Wed 22-Mar-17 03:20:19

I put a fair few of my children's Christmas presents straight into the charity box. They weren't exact duplicates but we have enough (too many already!) bath toys, Lamaze, cuddly toys, card games etc so it seemed silly to use them and then throw them or others away in a declutter later on. Better to give away new stuff for someone else to benefit from. I did feel a bit mean / ungrateful but I have limited space abd I find the ever increasing mass of toys overwhelming. I wish family would stick to one present only! ( I have said this repeatedly and I always give ideas) I personally wouldn't sell stuff, I always donate, but there isn't much difference really as far as the original giver is concerned and it's probably fairer on the child to sell and then give them the money.

MissGoggins Wed 22-Mar-17 03:26:35

If she keeps the money YANBU if she is selling on behalf of daughter savings YABU.

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