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AIBU: gut instinct

(133 Posts)
ShakyMilk Tue 21-Mar-17 20:08:08

Thinking about what advice I would give my younger self and one of them would be: go with your gut.
Have you ever been really glad you trusted your gut instinct? AIBU to ask you to tell me about it?

hickorydickorynurseryrhyme Tue 21-Mar-17 20:17:10

I am a believer in following your gut but it's not always easy is it? What made you post?

Trifleorbust Tue 21-Mar-17 20:19:00

I hate people going on about their gut instinct. It always seems to have a strange correlation with their prejudices. Black man walking behind you? Gasp! Probably a mugger! Are you a racist? Of course not - you just felt it in your gut. hmm

sparklefarts Tue 21-Mar-17 20:19:17

Gut instinct when I saw my ex husband for the first time was 'what a Fucking creepy weirdo' should have listened to that one!! grin

IHeartKingThistle Tue 21-Mar-17 20:22:47

God no, my gut instinct is often way off beam. Luckily I know it's a wanker and I ignore it most of the time.

ShakyMilk Tue 21-Mar-17 20:29:54

hickorydickorynurseryrhyme not sure really. I think, if anything, I ignored mine for a lot of the time, but I have girls now and I want them not to do that, to instead listen to the little voice that's saying hmmm, not sure about this

Bananamama1213 Tue 21-Mar-17 20:36:30

I always trust my gut.

Usually about people cheating!

joystir59 Tue 21-Mar-17 20:50:55

Little voice always right imo

sum1killthepawpatrollers Tue 21-Mar-17 20:54:01

theres been a few times i certainly wish i had, but then again if i had i wouldnt have my ds, i wouldnt have met my few amazing friends (met through a person i thought was a real mate, turned out she was a back stabbing cunt)
i will be forever greatful for 1 time i did though, even if it did nearly split dh and i up and have since resisted the urge to say told you that he was a perv

hickorydickorynurseryrhyme Tue 21-Mar-17 21:30:02

OP I'm the same

WombOfOnesOwn Tue 21-Mar-17 21:39:21

Once upon a time, I was an underage runaway survival prostitute.

A prospective client emailed me. We discussed rates and acts briefly. He agreed to meet me at a particular time.

As soon as the conversation stopped, I got a sinking feeling. I'd had a fair number of clients before, and felt fairly "empowered" (gag!) in my work because I was making good money and my clients had been kind and respectful, at least to my face. This anxious feeling had never shown up before a "date." Never.

I cancelled -- no, actually, I stood him up.

And he emailed to say "Hey, I guess I missed you. Maybe you were freaked out. That's totally fine, but I'd really love to get together if you're still interested."

Somehow, the way he was kind about it made me let down my guard -- I'd been prepared for anger and vitriol.

We arranged another time to meet. This time, I showed up.

He took me back to his place. He raped me in every orifice, at knifepoint. I spent the next six hours convinced I was going to die in his apartment. When I left, it was with a brand-new case of PTSD and a sense of shame that would take years to go away.

I trust my instincts, now.

hickorydickorynurseryrhyme Tue 21-Mar-17 21:43:19

Womb you poor thing, how horrible.

VestalVirgin Tue 21-Mar-17 21:56:30

Womb, that's horrible. sad
I'd have had the same reaction to him being nice about it. Frightening to think that there's rapists out there who have such a perfect strategy to trap their victims. Makes one wonder how many women he did this to.

I was molested at a job interview I went to despite a bad gut feeling. Decided to always listen to my gut now, but it is hard when there's no way to explain the gut feeling.

VestalVirgin Tue 21-Mar-17 21:59:03

I hate people going on about their gut instinct

And I hate people who have no empathy for women.

You knew there would be people on this thread who had been sexually assaulted or raped by men they decided to trust against their gut feeling, and still you chose to complain.


putdownyourphone Tue 21-Mar-17 22:07:44

My ex worked with a girl who I had a bad feeling about - she had done nothing wrong but something intuitive made me not trust her. One morning I woke up early, took my ex-DPs phone and went through his texts from her - nothing. Just as I put the phone back next to the bed it went off several times - text after text of her declaring her love for him and asking him to leave me. It was so weird, I'd never looked through his phone before but my gut instinct told me to do it there and then.

putdownyourphone Tue 21-Mar-17 22:08:33

And so sorry womb.

ShakyMilk Tue 21-Mar-17 22:15:11

Oh, Womb I am so sorry. You are very brave to tell your story.

I think, particularly when you are young, it's easy not to trust your own instincts, because you are young, unsure, inexperienced etc. I really want to instil in my girls that those feelings are there for a reason, and one day might save your life but also don't want to freak them the fuck out!

Meekonsandwich Tue 21-Mar-17 22:37:42

I've read somewhere that apparently you are more likely to be happy with a snap decision you made than if you took Time to think about it. So yes go with your gut!

Trifleorbust Wed 22-Mar-17 07:53:38


Huh? So I should not express my opinion (which I did without reference to or in response to anything about sexual assault) just in case people have experienced something terrible that gives them a different opinion?

Never heard so much shite. You appear to have compartmentalisation issues.

BertrandRussell Wed 22-Mar-17 07:55:37

I would say "Your guts are for digesting food and they are very good at it. But if you want any thinking done, your brain is the organ to go for"

Trifleorbust Wed 22-Mar-17 07:55:44

That is a horrible, sad story, Womb. Obviously you should follow your instinct in a situation as risky as that one. I hope you are safe now.

Trifleorbust Wed 22-Mar-17 07:56:03



ZogsAnon Wed 22-Mar-17 07:59:22

Womb, so sorryflowers.
Hope you don't mind but I've reported this thread to have a trigger warning.

Whatthefudger Wed 22-Mar-17 08:09:58

Womb. I'm so sorry flowers

mrsheathy85 Wed 22-Mar-17 08:12:22

I always try and trust my gut but I have BPD so it's hard to trust it 😣. I'm working on it but it's hard!

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