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AIBU to be so angry at a friend?

(8 Posts)
Motherof3beautfulgirls Tue 21-Mar-17 18:43:50

First time posting but always love reading the threads and come on a lot for tips on subjects etc.

So, here goes.

I have a good few friends and one of these are relatively new (3-4 years). we can spend up to two hours on the phone at a time, we talk about anything and everything and to be honest that's the bulk of our contact. I've invited her around a lot and she never comes, even to events and nights out (just us two) and she will always say yes and then makes excuses last minute!

So anyhow! Her birthday wasn't long ago, I called to say happy birthday etc and it was bought to my attention that no one has bothered, not even a card from mother etc. That evening I went out, I spent quite a lot on flowers, perfume, chocolates and other small bits. I took them to her home and she was so chuffed.

Now, I must add that I do not give to receive! I'm generally generous and it's not the first time I've done this. (There was another occasion when she was feeling down and out and me being me went round with flowers and chocolates in a bid to cheer her up).

So.... Along comes my birthday (she knew for sure before anyone says she may have forgotten) I am certain of this for various reasons).

I did not even get a call or text from her and feel she is avoiding me now. Nothing has happened, I had spoken to her a couple of days before my birthday etc. I really would love to say something but not sure if I'm being unreasonable or would then create an issue and make us feel uncomfortable (another mum at the school).

AUBU to be angry/upset/disappointed?

ThoraGruntwhistle Tue 21-Mar-17 18:47:13

One shouldn't give to receive... but I would also be quite hurt in your situation, that she couldn't do the absolute bare minimum of acknowledging your birthday by texting you. Making the same amount of effort you did might be too much for her, but doing nothing at all and avoiding you is pretty crappy behaviour.

Happyandhungry Tue 21-Mar-17 18:51:52

Just phone her up for a chat and when she says "what you been up to?" You can say "had a fab birthday got xyz from DP etc etc" guilt her definitely. The very least she could have done is a text. She sounds very fairweather. I wouldn't try so hard with her in future.

Awwlookatmybabyspider Tue 21-Mar-17 18:56:48

YANBU. Its not about giving to receive, but friendship is about give and take.
I'd be peeved in your situation.
However in her defence. It could be some as innocent as she's ran out of minutes/texts.
Are you both on Facebook.

Allthebestnamesareused Tue 21-Mar-17 19:41:53

Maybe she can't afford something at the moment and feels a bit guilty so therefore is trying to avoid the issue.

MeNeedSleep Tue 21-Mar-17 19:49:30

Yeah as allthebesy says, maybe she's feeling guilty or embarrassed that she can't return the gesture.
Personally I'd have called her pre birthday and said it's my birthday, I'm going for drinks are you coming?

Motherof3beautfulgirls Tue 21-Mar-17 19:50:15

Yes we both have Facebook. I wouldn't expect her to buy me anything, I would have been shocked if I'm honest... A text... A call. A message through Facebook (she was active that day too).

It just leaves me in a very uncomfortable position

nogrip Tue 21-Mar-17 19:51:03

If she was skint and embarrassed, she could have phoned up, made a card, picked some daffs, regifted something, whatever

I would never contact her again - she avoids meeting up with you yet gladly receives your generous gifts and doesn't think you deserve the same back. Yes yes, I know its not about giving to receive back, but friends give you a card for your birthday, they don't just ignore it.

Friends also do not never meet up. Sounds like a weird one sided relationship.

Bin the bitch, that my advice. Don't even explain why. Keep her guessing. I reckon shes too selfish to realise why

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