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Is it embarrassing to admit I haven't much in my life apart from work and kids?

(10 Posts)
ssd Tue 21-Mar-17 17:36:26

and the kids are teens but still seem to take up a lot of my time and emotional energy

I always thought by this stage I'd have a more exciting life, lots of nights out with dh and a better job....

but I haven't, I'm still plodding on with the same old dead end but family friendly job and me and dh hardly ever go out

we're low income , am trying to get more hours or a better paid job but am hitting brick walls so far, and we just don't have much spare for a social life, we both work extra at weekends when we can get it

I haven't any extended family, no one to pop in or pop into...ever

I have friends but they work or have elderly parent commitments (my parents have both passed away and I sorely miss them)

I know I should have hobbies and lots going on, but theres always someone needing a lift/work has run me ragged and I'm knackered/someone needs the car/money's too tight

please dont flame me, I just wondered if anyone else out there is the same? I don't know if I'm content or bored!

SuperMoonIsKeepingMeUpToo Tue 21-Mar-17 17:38:20

Have you thought about volunteering? I'm a Cub leader and have made a huge circle of friends through that.

booloobalooloo Tue 21-Mar-17 17:41:35

Are you happy? If you are happy with it then it's not weird. Hobbies are non essential options you know. X

reallybadidea Tue 21-Mar-17 17:46:25

I know where you're coming from. I applied for a job recently and I had to make some hobbies up when they asked what I do outside work - I didn't think the truthful answer of 'do lots of washing, cook, taxi teenagers around and collapse in front of the telly' would cut it somehow grin

SlB09 Tue 21-Mar-17 17:49:17

I honestly think we all find ourselves in this exact situation at some point/s in our lives, its the nature of the beast. Depends if your happy with it or not, if your abit fed up then maybe time to change something or just say no to more things and pursue your own interests. There is something to be said for a steady same old job sometimes, suppose its whether a big change like job is needed or just a tweak in other areas that would help. Depends where you live but alot of places have free taster sessions or museums etc xx

hollyisalovelyname Tue 21-Mar-17 19:27:57

I read it here on Mumsnet
'Somebody in the world is wishing with all their heart and soul to have the life you are dissing'
Or words to that effect.

ssd Tue 21-Mar-17 22:50:31

thats true, though I'm not dissing it, I just sometimes feel everyone else is having parties and social get togethers and loads of fun...and I'm not, although I'd be the first to admit I'd run a mile from a party these days!

I'm not unhappy, maybe just needing to make the next step job wise and dont know where to start

BackforGood Tue 21-Mar-17 23:12:52

It's not embarrassing, and I can't see why you think anyone would flame you, however, if you feel you'd like to branch out a bit, then now is probably as good a time as any.
As supermoon says volunteering with something like Scouts or Guides can make you a whole host of new friends, and won't cost you a lot.
Or, if that isn't 'you', then what about joining a running group, or a choir, or a book club, or something that just commits you to a couple of hours a week. Or - for example - my local hospice has little groups of fundraisers who put on events in their area to raise money for the hospice - so, by organising social things such as quizzes, dances and so forth, you are automatically expanding your social life, again, without spending much money.

CantSleepClownsWillEatMe Tue 21-Mar-17 23:31:40

No you've nothing at all to be embarrassed about but the fact that you're asking says that you feel something is missing and you'd like more.

It's so easy for family and work to take over most of your time, finances and mental and physical energy but it's worth trying to change that. Having friends and interests add to your life and of course your family commitments will presumably reduce a bit in the coming years as your dc grow up so hopefully you'll have time and energy to invest in other things.

As pp suggested there are probably plenty of groups and clubs you could get involved in which would get you out more and expand your circle of friends. Get googling and see what's out there smile

ssd Thu 23-Mar-17 08:12:09

thank you

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