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Should I feel upset or just get over it?

(14 Posts)
Justwondering1 Mon 20-Mar-17 21:06:25

I had a fairly serious knee injury last week. Followed by a flight home and an MRI that showed suspected DVT. So I was called back for urgent further scans and told I might have to be admitted to hospital. I have 2 DC aged 12 and 7.

Simultaneously my FIL who is 86 and lives a 6 hour journey away was hospitalised with serious and unidentified hemmorrhages. My DH was understandably feeling he might need to go to him as FIL possibly close to death. (He nearly died 2 years ago).

My AIBU is that when I explained this to my DM - her response was immediately that she couldn't help because my DSis needed help with school runs for my DN this week as her husband is away.

I was quite shocked that she might not even consider for a moment asking Dsis whether it was possible to arrange a playdate for an hour or 2 til she could pick up DN - under the circumstances.

In the end we were ok, thank goodness. But I have been left feeling a bit low on the list on priorities.

Am I over reacting?

Moanyoldcow Mon 20-Mar-17 21:24:00

Nope - not over reacting. Glad everything has worked out for your family though.

highinthesky Mon 20-Mar-17 21:30:07

I think you might be expecting a bit much from DM. It can't be much fun being stretched between 2 adult DDs, she's damned either way.

pictish Mon 20-Mar-17 21:45:58

Wellll...I dunno. If I say I'm going to do something, I'll do it and I operate on a firm first come, first served basis.
Glad you got it sorted though.

Witchend Mon 20-Mar-17 21:46:15

I think if it was definitely arranged that your dm was doing the school runs, you couldn't expect her to drop them for you. If it was a "oh well I might be needed" then she shouldn't hang around just in case.

pictish Mon 20-Mar-17 21:47:57

P.s It's not that easy arranging playdates at specific times at short notice.

DoublyTroubly Mon 20-Mar-17 21:54:14

I take it the problem is that your DM couldn't be in 2 places at once to do 2 school runs. It's a really tricky one but I also think it should be first come first served - surely you could have arranged play dates for your DC just as easily as your DSis?

NavyandWhite Mon 20-Mar-17 21:55:52

Yanbu. Given your circumstances I think the least your mum could do is give it a bit of thought.

Fishface77 Mon 20-Mar-17 21:56:06

She had already committed to the school runs so I understand that bit but....it was an emergency.
You were ill and DH understandably had to be with his dad.
On the fence I'm afraid op. But flowers

Justwondering1 Mon 20-Mar-17 21:59:02

She definitely had arranged to ge with DSis so I see that would normally take priority but I guess I thought if I was kept in hospital for several days and DH at his fathers bedside- i.e. Not just a question of arranging play dates but literally no one to look after the children, she might have just checked if there were any options. But I guess I do see it's a hard one for my mum.

And of course I do understand how tricky it is to arrange school runs and play dates - I just did it for a whole week at no notice when I couldn't drive or walk without crutches.

londonpia Mon 20-Mar-17 22:02:34

YANBU. When we heard that my brother had been admitted into hospital with a heart attack we asked PIL if they could come up the following morning so I could go to hospital to be with DB (and they'd look after DC). MIL replied that she has a (routine) blood test in the morning so they would be at ours later, and that they could only stay a night as SIL needed them for the school run. My brother was dying and they couldn't help out- it was very hard and stressful sorting out childcare during a really shitty time,when they could have at least attempted to make alternative arrangements.

Justwondering1 Mon 20-Mar-17 22:07:53

I'm so sorry about your brother, that must have been really hard. My situation luckily ended up ok. Still feeling some resentment though!

HeddaGarbled Mon 20-Mar-17 22:15:12

I think sometimes it's just an immediate reaction when you are faced with what seems like an insurmountable difficulty and that probably if you had really needed her and she'd had a chance to think through alternative arrangements and discuss them with your sister, she may well have come good for you.

I've done this myself, said I can't do something when first asked but then when I've thought about it, thought of a solution.

Fishface77 Mon 20-Mar-17 22:21:19

Does she often prioritise your sister over you op?

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