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To think BDSM type activities are a no-no for teens?

(95 Posts)
Mumoftmtocount Mon 20-Mar-17 14:30:26

Just wondering everyone’s opinions on this. It’s not something I’ve experienced personally, but I’ve been reading a few posts on MN about BDSM. I’m not talking full on, whips, chains and d/s relationships BDSM but more the lighter S&M aspects - think spanking, choking, gagging etc. (So probably more rough sex than BDSM tbh)

Anyway, whilst personally I’m not into that, I don’t see a problem with grown adults incorporating it into their relationship. However, my question to MNetters is: would you raise a red flag at the thought of teenagers, so like 17-18 year olds, being spanked and choked etc by sexual partners of their own age?

Personally I find it shocking - I think those sexually adventurous years are yet to come and your teens should be for all the fumbling awkwardness of vanilla sex - but am I just an old prude? And would it indicate something psychologically wrong with youngsters who do it 'like that'?

ImFuckingSpartacus Mon 20-Mar-17 14:31:29

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Mumoftmtocount Mon 20-Mar-17 14:33:12

ImFuckingSpartacus neither, I can assure you!

WhirlwindHugs Mon 20-Mar-17 14:33:34

Errr, choking is not exactly light is it?

Mumoftmtocount Mon 20-Mar-17 14:34:35

My view is that it's not appropriate/normal behaviour for a teenager, reasons for bringing up this topic I won't be sharing, and I simply wished to find if anyone believed the same or didn't.

Mumoftmtocount Mon 20-Mar-17 14:35:29

Whirlwind I was thinking choking with hands as opposed to with something else - though tbh I guess it depends on everyone's view of it, everyone has different limits

FlyingElbows Mon 20-Mar-17 14:35:36

Yes because we're all going to talk about teens and bandage. You utter weirdo. Is there not enough of that on the Internet for you already? Fucking Nora.

FlyingElbows Mon 20-Mar-17 14:36:08

Or bondage, even.

Renaissance2017 Mon 20-Mar-17 14:36:56

I find it best not to be overly concerned with consenting adults having legally allowable sex in any form.

SumThucker Mon 20-Mar-17 14:38:26

Crikey confused Odd topic.

Sparklingbrook Mon 20-Mar-17 14:38:52

So at what age can teens dump the vanilla if they so wish? Do they have to report to the Sex police for an upgrade? confused

Mumoftmtocount Mon 20-Mar-17 14:40:39

Sparkling well, when I was 17 the thought of plain vanilla sex was enough for me..would have shat myself at the thought of gags and choking.

Beachedwh4le Mon 20-Mar-17 14:41:18

Flyingelbows you made me burst out laughing with your response.

Just when you think MN can't get weirder

CancellyMcChequeface Mon 20-Mar-17 14:41:30

They're consenting adults. It's not your business.

Whether BDSM/kink is 'normal' or 'psychologically healthy' is another debate, and a very complex one, but bringing it up in this context is odd.

Annesmyth123 Mon 20-Mar-17 14:42:21

Choking and breath play of any description isn't lighter BDSM. People die from that and have done.

Mumoftmtocount Mon 20-Mar-17 14:42:53

Personally, my view is that it's not healthy, and that's why your formative years are not the time and place to experiment with BDSM - which is why I brought it up in this context.

Papafran Mon 20-Mar-17 14:43:29

So why precisely have you brought this topic up? How is it relevant to your life? Unless you give a background story, you will be presumed to be a troll and your post reported. HTH.

Annesmyth123 Mon 20-Mar-17 14:45:00

I don't understand either. Why can't a teen give consent to sex if any kind that they want to try? Surely they're as likely to try at 17 as 27? Probably More.

DiversAlarums Mon 20-Mar-17 14:45:20

OP, why isn't it healthy?

Faez Mon 20-Mar-17 14:46:05

How can anyone consider choking light and I find hands even more worrying. Wouldn't cross my mind to put my hands around someone's throat as it is so fragile and risky :/

TimeforANewTwatName Mon 20-Mar-17 14:46:06

Choking either with hands or not is not light! That's pretty serious and dangerous shit.

FlyingElbows Mon 20-Mar-17 14:47:36

Oh and btw I must have missed the handout where we got our "acceptable levels of abuse" timeline. Can anyone post a copy of theirs so I know in advance exactly when I can expect Mr Elbows to announce something like "well that's you 43 now, Mrs Elbows" before he closes his giant man hands round my throat!!

Mumoftmtocount Mon 20-Mar-17 14:47:39

Papafran I've already requested my post to be taken down due to the reaction I'm getting but fine, if you want a fucking backstory, I'll give you one.

I said I hadn't personally experienced it, but that was a lie - when I was in my late teens I had my first sexual experience with a very messed up young man. This involved rough sex, choking, me being cuffed, and so much spanking I couldn't lie on one side of my body for days.

I started taking therapy a couple of weeks back. I brought this up, and the therapist suggested it may be the underlying reason for some of the problems I suffer with now - that I had a 'first time' which was this rough.

GotToGetMyFingerOut Mon 20-Mar-17 14:48:24

I'm not interested in any 17 years old sex live as long as it's consensual.

GotToGetMyFingerOut Mon 20-Mar-17 14:49:41

Well that's slightly different to your op. Were you actually happily consenting to that?

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