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To ask what you do on Mother's Day?

(29 Posts)
SoAngryArghh Mon 20-Mar-17 13:36:50

My mother lives away this year we're not visiting her - we were with her last year. She is a widow lives alone. She has plans though with friends for mothers day.

My DH wants to go for lunch with his mother & father and 1 of his siblings will be around too with their kids.

I just kind of wanted for me the 2 DCs and DH to do something together.

Lunch with the PILs is always LONG in some mega fancy restaurant my youngest still napping and gets super irritable at food time. As that's nap time. The youngest DC will cry and MIL will tell DH to take my youngest outside.

It's just no fun! I want a chilled out day with my kids and DH. AIBU? DH said he'll look after the youngest...still I just want my own special Mother's Day. But DH will probably be moody if we don't go.

ParadiseCity Mon 20-Mar-17 13:40:32

Some years one of us is at work, some years one of the kids has something on, and we rotate seeing family, this year we are having a big family meal out for about a dozen of us. Can you do something with MIL and something just you DH and kids? Eg brunch with MIL and then afternoon tea at a castle/somewhere kids are happier but you get to chill?

Lasvegas Mon 20-Mar-17 13:41:35

I always go out just me and DD. This year a National Trust house (I have always wanted to visit) and cream tea. Geocaching last year. London Eye another time. Basically a day out.

Pinkheart5915 Mon 20-Mar-17 13:42:54

For us a table has been book for afternoon tea with champagne for me,dh, dc, mil, my Mum & dad and I think my brothers, nephew and sil are coming aswell. And I would imagine dh has got me a card, small present, flowers from the dc as he normally does

I can understand your dh wanting to see his Mum tbh but maybe he could arrange a card/flowers for her Sunday and go and see her the following weekend and have lunch with her or something? That way his still made the effort for his Mum

BeachyKeen Mon 20-Mar-17 13:43:00

I get to choose each year if I'd like to plan something or if I want a surprise. Obviously, in poorer years it might have been a homemade card, wild flowers and breakfast in bed. In better years it was a necklace and a day out, or a family picnic in a park or on a hike.
What works for us, works for us, iyswim? You as a couple have to figure out at what point it goes from being his mother's mother's day ( confused ) to being your mother's day.
If you have to wait for your kids to be old enough to do something about it, and all they have seen is their dad ignoring it for you, they may do the same.

ImFuckingSpartacus Mon 20-Mar-17 13:43:25

Well this year I'm having dinner with my MIL, 3xSIL, my sister, my nieces and my daughter.

I don't really get the fuss and angst about mothers day though, how is it any different to any other day? Just see your mother/mil/nan/kids on any day of the year, this forced love in is just weird, like Valentines Day for mams!

SparkleTwinkleGoldGlitter Mon 20-Mar-17 13:46:11

A table has been booked for me, dh, dd, parents in law, my parents for a nice fancy lunch and it's my first Mother's Day so I'm hopeful dh has thought to sort a card.

Could you send dh to his Mum as she's his Mum and it's Mother's Day and you take your children somewhere of your fancy ?

Could dh spend time with his Mum before/after Mother's Day? ( dinner one evening this week. Lunch next weekend)

zukiecat Mon 20-Mar-17 13:48:25

I'll be working as I do every Sunday

I don't bother with Mothers Day, as I feel it's just a date on a calendar and I tell my DC not to bother with any gifts or cards

The DC and I go out for lunch as and when we can afford it, so maybe around three or four times a year

We just generally do small but thoughtful things for each other throughout the year, so I don't feel a need for it just because the date says so

I get that I am a bit unusual though

WhatHaveIFound Mon 20-Mar-17 13:50:08

Mothers Day is never relaxing for me. Either i'm cooking for my DM or MIL or we're off climbing a hill/out on bikes. Occasionally DH is working so it's just me and the DC. To be honest it doesn't bother me, it's just another Sunday after all.

ragz134 Mon 20-Mar-17 13:51:14

I'm working this year. Don't usually do much to be honest, I'm not a Hallmark person... Maybe a walk or something.

SoAngryArghh Mon 20-Mar-17 13:54:46

I'm a SAHM. Apart from Birthday or Mother's Day I don't get a time to chill or relax. No one does anything particularly thoughtful for me. In saying that I'm not overly bothered.

It's not an issue to see the PILs we see them most weekends. I just kind of don't want to sit in a poncy restaurant with people tutting at the toddler - when it's nap time and I'll feel embarrassed. We'll probably end up going as I don't want to let DH down he wants to see his mum.

youngestisapsycho Mon 20-Mar-17 13:59:46

Same as any other Sunday... laze about, pop in to visit my mum, go out for dinner. I will get breakfast in bed though with a card and nice present from DDs.
People stress too much about the day...

Boiing Mon 20-Mar-17 15:40:39

Well if it's like the last 4, sulk that my husband has forgotten all about it.

But yanbu for not wanting to do something that's no fun on mothers day. How about you say you've already made a plan with the dc that you're looking forward to, and invite dh to come if he wants?

Fadingmemory Mon 20-Mar-17 15:46:39

I look at the flowers and card that I have bought for myself because the children don't. They feel it is all too commercialised.

Then, I carry on regardless and enjoy the day!

Italwaysworksitselfout Mon 20-Mar-17 16:06:33

I visit dm and mil (who's birthday is on the same day) but I really don't do anything out the ordinary. Nobody has ever made a fuss of me on mother's day and I don't expect it either.
My fil makes a tremendous fuss of mil on mother's day even if it doesn't fall on her birthday which I find weird considering she's not his mum and dh makes more than enough fuss for her hmm

gabsdot Mon 20-Mar-17 16:06:35

We usually invite MIL over, I buy something easy to cook and DH and his brother throw it in the oven and wash up.
This year my mum and dad are coming too and BIL isn't so I'll probably cook. I don't mind as long as I don't have to wash up and I insist of getting flowers.

FlyingElbows Mon 20-Mar-17 16:21:25

Nothing. Mr Elbows will mope because his mother is dead and I don't even know where mine lives (which is no great loss). It'll be a day like every other.

theworriedone Mon 20-Mar-17 16:24:03

This year we're travelling down to my parents and going out for lunch. I'd prefer a quiet day at home with a walk somewhere but we have to do what makes my mum happy.

TwatteryFlowers Mon 20-Mar-17 16:25:31

MIL isn't really bothered about Mothers' Day so we don't make a special effort to go and see her (though dh will most likely ring/text/email her at some point). My mum is happy with a card and bottle of port. I might nip through and give her some flowers or something but probably the day before.

As a family, dh usually sorts a card out from the dc (they're too young at the mo to buy or choose their own) and lets me have a lay-in in the morning. Then we usually go out for a walk or to a local NT or EH place. Then it's just a normal day: we still do the cooking/washing/cleaning etc that we have to do every day because it's not meant to be a day off is it? It's just meant to be a day of saying, "Thanks mum for all you do for us as our mother; we're really grateful."

Waitingonasmile Mon 20-Mar-17 16:27:52

Absolutely nothing. Husband works away a month at a time and I'm 5 hours away from my mum. Unless almost 2 year old is able to book a table somewhere I'll be spending it like any other Sunday.

PotteringAlong Mon 20-Mar-17 16:31:23

I'll be cooking lunch for mil and grandmil and sil because it doesn't occur to them to offer to cook and it's assumed by default they'll come to ours. They're in for s shock this year - no Sunday lunch; I'm doing a full on tapas feast grin

Garnethair Mon 20-Mar-17 16:36:29

Mother's Day here is for the old people. So for the last three decades I've cooked a big dinner for everyone. My turn will come. smile

Wolfiefan Mon 20-Mar-17 16:38:24

I'm taking the puppy out for the day. We are going to compete in our first dog show! grin

Talith Mon 20-Mar-17 17:33:59

YANBU to want a mother's day to yourself especially as you say you see the in laws all the time. You're a mother too!!! When is your turn?

I get a lie in and a nice lunch just me dh and the kids. If I'm lucky abunch of flowers and a card too. I send my mum a card and gift and dh does the same for his mum but we don't normally visit them then.

MissAdaSmith Mon 20-Mar-17 17:40:42

do what I always do on a Sunday. wash, iron, cook ahead for the week. just playing catch up. DH doesn't 'believe' in mother's day. One DC with severe LDs (won't know it's mother's day). basically nothing special a for me. feel always a bit chealous of my pampered friends that day and upset.

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