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to think this doesn't really count as a thank you?

(39 Posts)
Tindel Mon 20-Mar-17 09:28:53

Went to a joint birthday party for a couple I know. As it was a significant birthday for them both, wife wanted to go all out and make it special. I misread a text from her about a few weeks ago and inadvertently volunteered to help put together a slideshow of photos of the couple to show on the night. Despite working full-time with a longish commute and having a toddler, combined with the fact we didn't get many people sending photos (wife sent contact details just over 2 weeks before the event), I managed to put something together.

Party is Saturday night and once everyone has been welcomed, cake cut and Happy Birthday sung, wife spends the rest of the night hammered on the dance floor. When we leave, we say goodbye to the husband and he thanks me for putting it together.

Logging onto FB this morning, I spot a post from the wife thanking everyone for coming and thanking those of us who did extra bits. She doesn't tag anyone, so I only see it by accident.

Aibu in thinking that's not much of a thank you? I think if she had time to do a FB post, she could have sent individual texts? I wasn't expecting anything much, but a quick msg saying "hi tindel, thanks for the slideshow" would have been nice. I just feel a bit unappreciated - aibu?

Happyandhungry Mon 20-Mar-17 09:30:39

The husband thanked you personally and she thanked everyone collectively. Why do you want more thanks? Just take it. Most people these days dont even say thanks!

PutThatPomBearBack Mon 20-Mar-17 09:33:47

But they did thank you? Do you want them to donate their kidney?!

April241 Mon 20-Mar-17 09:34:05

The husband said thanks in person, that should be enough surely? Maybe the wife wanted to do one post rather than lots of individual texts.

Annesmyth123 Mon 20-Mar-17 09:36:35

Of course that's a thank you!

VivienneWestwoodsKnickers Mon 20-Mar-17 09:37:59

It's Facebook. Get some perspective. YABU.

CookieLady Mon 20-Mar-17 09:38:33

YABU. grin

Theresnonamesleft Mon 20-Mar-17 09:41:57

How many thanks do you want? You was thanked on the night. Possibly a quick thank you for doing this when you said you would do it, even in the original texts. Plus thank you on Facebook.
It was a party not the Oscars to stand on stage thanking a million people by name for everything they did. A Facebook message is a lot lot quicker than sending out shedloads of texts

Tootsiepops Mon 20-Mar-17 09:42:44


Why do you need or want a public Facebook thank you for doing something nice for a friend?

DubiousCredentials Mon 20-Mar-17 09:45:37


I don't get the obsession with multiple thank yous at the moment. I have friends who thank in person, via text message or whatsapp video message AND do a written thank you for dc's presents. Madness. They probably think I am a rude cow though as I think one thank you is adequate.

BackforGood Mon 20-Mar-17 09:46:00

You had a personal thank you.
If you want public acclaim, write a comment after he post just so you can be sure that everyone knows you did the slideshow. wink

ArchNotImpudent Mon 20-Mar-17 09:47:55

I think the wife should have thanked you personally, since she approached you to create the slideshow. Not so much on Facebook, but before she got hammered on the night. I think she's taken you for granted, and I'd be less keen to do anything for her in the future. YANBU.

HecateAntaia Mon 20-Mar-17 09:50:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Birdsgottaf1y Mon 20-Mar-17 09:50:47

You did something nice for a good friend on a significant Birthday, why do you want more thanks than you got?

If you don't have time to do this for your friends, then don't agree.

As for "hammered on the dance floor". Did you want her to stay sober and play host?

ilovesooty Mon 20-Mar-17 09:50:56

If you had a personal thank you on the night it sounds perfectly acceptable.

sonyaya Mon 20-Mar-17 10:01:20

Hmmm. The FB thing isn't a proper thank you. The husband DID thank you though.

However if I were the wife and it was my party you did it for, I would have sent a proper thank you text, and probably a card (though I accept most wouldn't send a card). I actually don't think you're being that unreasonable given the effort you put in.

TheFirstMrsDV Mon 20-Mar-17 10:01:59

You want a massive thank you because you didn't want to do it, didn't enjoy doing and are resentful that you did it.

They think you were happy to do so a personal Thank You seems adequate to them.

I am not having a dig at you, you feel how you feel.

But they don't know that.

TheFirstMrsDV Mon 20-Mar-17 10:03:23

Plus she is probably still hungover

TheTurnOfTheScrew Mon 20-Mar-17 10:04:52

I'm pretty keen on sending thank yous, but agree that they're generally needed if you've not been thanked in person, and you were.

Also if people are doing a fair few proper written thank yous then I reckon a grace period of a month is reasonable, so maybe something will arrive in the post a little further down the line?

rightsofwomen Mon 20-Mar-17 10:05:31

You want tonnes of thanks for something you resented doing in the first place?

It all sounds quite miserable tbh.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Mon 20-Mar-17 10:06:25

Christ, you sound needy OP, you've had 2 thank you's, if that isn't sufficient then you need to get a grip.

isittheholidaysyet Mon 20-Mar-17 10:07:05

Did you do it for the thanks?

Or because of your love for your friend?

pepperpot99 Mon 20-Mar-17 10:11:09

I think they should take put a full page in the newspapers to thank you publicly wink

DevilsDumplings Mon 20-Mar-17 10:13:04

People in general don't give/show thanks anymore.

A couple of years ago my db got married and in with the invite was a request for cash wedding gifts. We gifted £150.00. Not a thank you, not a card, nothing. Same db doesn't even acknowledge other cards and gifts that have been sent for Birthdays and Christmasses.

From this year and here on in I'm not buying/sending anything else.

NavyandWhite Mon 20-Mar-17 10:18:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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