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How do you get over resenting someone?

(3 Posts)
Bukkaroo Sun 19-Mar-17 20:33:06

Sorry to be vague but don't want to out myself. Does anyone have any advice on how to get over resenting someone? I can't bear DH's sister. When we first got together she emotionally manipulated him into selling his flat to give her the money (her house was going to be repossessed) and I can't quite forgive her for this. He wasn't forced into it but she guilt trips him a lot. I feel she infringes on a lot of our boundaries too, silly things like always wanting to use our car and adding herself a profile onto our Netflix account. When I see her she's lovely to me and I can't work out of she's a nice person or not. I think she is but she's very clingy and needy with DH and he dotes on her. I don't think I'm jealous of her it's more I'm irritated by her and wish she would stand on her own two feet instead of always relying on DH, she feels like a burden to me but I know that's horrible as she's his sister. Really nothing will change she is single and says she always wants to be, I need advice on how to be OK with her in my head as loads of little things that shouldn't are irritating me and I think it's a build up of resentment. Speaking to DH is like banging my head against a brick wall he would do anything for her and can't stand me questioning anything.

TheWildRumpyPumpus Sun 19-Mar-17 20:41:19

What's the saying - resentment is like swallowing poison and expecting the other person to die.

If it's intolerable for you and your DH isn't interested in making changes then it's a DH problem you have. Forget the SIL as she's not going to change and you can't do anything about it.

Mumzypopz Sun 19-Mar-17 21:34:25

You need to mentally disassociate yourself from her. The more you think about her, the more you will get wound up by her. Just try concentrating on something else in your life. She means nothing to you. She will not change, because she doesn't want to, but you can.

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