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To think I don't have to show people my arms?

(11 Posts)
march2017myname Sun 19-Mar-17 17:00:05

I've got a counselling session tomorrow morning. The therapist knows I self injure and in my first session asked to see . She examined and then wrote notes .

Occupational health doctor also asked about methods , to see , and wrote notes.

The only person I have let see without feeling very very uncomfortable is my DM and GP who handled it OK and didn't make me feel like I was doing something strange.

I don't like showing other people or discussing it. I don't cut , I do it discreetly so it's a private thing that others won't question.

Can I refuse to show my counsellor or doctors, tell them it's uncomfortable for ?

march2017myname Sun 19-Mar-17 17:10:59

It sounds like I am being ungrateful but I'm trying not to be , I want the help but I can't bear them touching my arms and analysing them. I don't touch them myself except in a bad way and I don't want others to. Just talking is OK talking isn't.

ImperialBlether Sun 19-Mar-17 17:13:17

I think it's always right to refuse to show any part of your body to someone. How can it not be? Just say, "I'm sorry, this is something that's very private to me and I don't want to show it you."

Heirhelp Sun 19-Mar-17 17:13:35

You need to tell your therapist or others that ask to see them that you don't want to show them and ask why it is important that they see them. Only then can you make an informed decision about showing them.

highinthesky Sun 19-Mar-17 17:13:48

It won't be necessary for the therapist to touch your arms.

It would be wise to allow them to look, and ask relevant question if they are to be able to help you properly. That's the only reason they would want to, you're not being judged on any way.

abbsisspartacus Sun 19-Mar-17 17:15:08

I would rather you saw me the person before the self harm

Would be my starting point with them

march2017myname Sun 19-Mar-17 17:34:43

Yes, that sounds like how I feel.

It was the way the counsellor asked me:

'How do you self harm? .. can I see this please ? .. how often do you do this, when did ? Have you ever caused serious harm to yourself or wished you could have? '

She said if she had concerns about my ability or desire to do damage to myself she would phone my GP. I harmed yesterday and I'm scared she will phone my surgery and tell them. I would rather I tell GP in my own time.

When I showed my GP her reaction was very different, maybe it's because I trust them more/known longer.

I just don't feel she can understand it , I'm sure she can but I feel she will be thinking I'm very ill to be doing this so often and weak willed for not stopping.

I was meant to do homework for this session tomorrow and I've not done it yet.

ImsorryTommy Sun 19-Mar-17 17:50:11

I've never asked someone to show me their harming. I might say 'do you want to show me? are you able to keep everything clean? Are you worried that anything may be infected?' but I wouldn't directly ask to see unless the person looked physically unwell.

And if they showed me I wouldn't touch without asking them.

I would never ask to see immediately but having seen some very serious injuries when I've approached it gently and sensitively I also understand why some people ask even if they approach it in a cack-handed way.

And it's absolutely your right to say no if asked. That can be documented so your therapist/counsellor is known to have asked.

Meekonsandwich Sun 19-Mar-17 21:07:40

Honestly im shocked they asked you straight away!!! My doctors, therapists, psyhciatrist have never ever asked to see mine! They just asked if I did it regularly, how I did it, if I was safe and knew to how to sterilize and had knowledge on wound care.

You are completely completely within your rights to say "I don't feel comfortable showing you" its such a personal thing. Only dh has seen mine.

harderandharder2breathe Sun 19-Mar-17 21:35:24

You absolutely can refuse

Please do be honest with them about it, but you do don't need to show anyone you're not comfortable with. You can say you know how to keep safe and you will show your GP if you need medical help.

Rinoachicken Sun 19-Mar-17 22:13:16

I self harm. No psychiatrist or therapist over the many years I've been in touching with them (15 years +) have EVER asked me to show them. I would be really uncomfortable at the type of unfeeling questioning you had. In fact I think I would have got up and walked out.

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