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Going on holiday while kids are with the ex

(24 Posts)
TalkyWalky Sun 19-Mar-17 13:34:56

Would it BU to book a week in the sun with my DP while my kids are away for a week camping with their dad in the summer?

I am feeling guilty looking at holidays- it's a week off work that I could use to spend with the kids at a different time. It's money I could spend on a more expensive holiday when I take the kids away.

But my ex has had several exotic holidays kid free since we split and for a fortnight at a time. And I will take the kids away for a week in the uk and they will be having a week away with their dad too.

Is it just mum guilt or would you judge for someone doing this?

RueDeDay Sun 19-Mar-17 13:36:42

Mum guilt. Sounds very sensible to me, I might be jealous but I wouldn't be judging!! Go, and have fun xx

Avioleta Sun 19-Mar-17 13:38:37

I do this every summer.

Why would anyone judge you?

MrsTwix Sun 19-Mar-17 13:38:37

As a step mum I would be delighted if DH did this, just for once. I adore DSD, but we have never had a proper couple holiday ever. As long as you have a holiday with them as well I don't see a problem.

Ignore any judgy pants!

Toobloodytired Sun 19-Mar-17 13:39:46

You are still taking them away, it doesn't have to be abroad.

Like you said, your ex has had countless holidays without the kids & that's okay, you deserve a holiday too!

No one would judge you if you & your ex were still together & went away.

My mum and dad did it, why does your DP have to be their father not to feel guilty??

Go have fun!!

isupposeitsverynice Sun 19-Mar-17 13:41:12

Mum guilt - you need a break too, get gone!

EffinElle Sun 19-Mar-17 13:42:43

Go! I would.

TalkyWalky Sun 19-Mar-17 13:44:41

Yay thank you. I would love to take the kids abroad but it's too soon to spend a week with them and new DP and I couldn't afford to take us all anyway.

Mum guilt...it's a dreadful thing.

Wolfiefan Sun 19-Mar-17 13:45:22

It's just mum guilt! Why shouldn't you have a holiday? Enjoy it.

pinkhorse Sun 19-Mar-17 13:46:58

I do this every year. Enjoy!

SparkleTwinkleGoldGlitter Sun 19-Mar-17 13:49:00

Your children will be cared for and well looked after ( I assume) by there father so you should go away and enjoy yourself leaving the guilt at home

anothermalteserplease Sun 19-Mar-17 13:53:52

Go and enjoy your holiday. Don't feel guilty at all.

ItsOooohSoQuiet Sun 19-Mar-17 13:59:04

Do it!

nownownotnow Sun 19-Mar-17 14:08:18

I've done it and my ex has got more difficult about it. He doesn't think I should go away without them hmm

He can go, but mums shouldn't. angry

nownownotnow Sun 19-Mar-17 14:08:52

So yes, definitely do it. It's lovely going away as a couple without dcs in tow!

Twinchaos1 Sun 19-Mar-17 14:09:02

Enjoy, you need time for you as well. There is no need for guilt.

Againagain97 Sun 19-Mar-17 14:10:04

Go, relax and enjoy!

It'll do you the world of good, which is also good for DCs.

wine

Rainydayspending Sun 19-Mar-17 14:17:02

I had a honeymoon in NZ whilst my children were camping with their Dad. It was bloody marvelous. They were having fun. They go on big holidays with us and their Dad. You can bet they feel no guilt at that grin enjoy it. Your children will.

Charley50 Sun 19-Mar-17 14:23:15

Go for it!

SlothMama Sun 19-Mar-17 14:26:56

Do it and enjoy yourself!

KellyBoo800 Sun 19-Mar-17 14:48:14

DH and I have two holidays a year - a UK holiday where we take DSD and somewhere abroad just the two of us. Both are only cheap and cheerful holidays, nothing exotic, but we value them both.

DSDs mum doesn't ever go away without her children (apart from her honeymoon last year) but also doesn't go away with the children, holidays just aren't a priority for her. But if she wanted a child-free week away with her DH we would drop everything to accommodate it because she bloody deserves it.

I think you should go ahead and book something. I really don't think anyone would judge you at all and the pp who mentioned mum guilt has summed it up quite nicely!

Tinkerbec Sun 19-Mar-17 14:52:25

Yes I did this too.

Should not be one rule for one. You are not expected to sit in moping.
Enjoy it.

Underthemoonlight Sun 19-Mar-17 14:55:34

We went away when I had DS when he went away with his dad. They way I saw it was he was enjoying time away with his dad and I deserved a break myself his DF has been away several times abroad with just him and his DW so I didn't see why I couldn't do the same. We also went away on our honeymoon without either kids. Go enjoy yourself

RainbowsAndUnicorn Sun 19-Mar-17 18:35:09

I'd have a week in the UK in those circumstances but not abroad if the children weren't getting that experience. It would depend on if that week off work meant they would be in childcare for an extra week when I could be with them, if that were the case I'd be saving my holidays.

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