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AIBU?

Someone said something at work...

82 replies

Gingernaut · 19/03/2017 09:37

...and I'm wondering if there's something in it.

Bear with me, this is a long one.

I have been diagnosed with dyslexia. I tick most of the boxes.

I have also been diagnosed with dysthymia, a form of chronic, low level depression. I tick most of those boxes.

Both have been the bane of my life. I underachieve, I'm disorganised, forgetful, lose interest in stuff (sometimes quite important stuff), have brilliant ideas which I forget moments later, have trouble articulating my thoughts even though I'm pretty knowledgable and have an IQ in top 3% of population, can't motivate myself even with deadlines looming, have such poor time management skills that I do virtually nothing outside of work apart from basic housework and personal care and just trundle along in low level jobs which don't normally require me to 'check in' and concentrate.

So far so diagnoses.

However, in these days of cutbacks, even relatively low paying jobs, like the temporary, hospital admin job I'm in now, are pretty demanding.

I'm not just filing, finding files and stuffing envelopes, I'm generating letters, booking appointments, minuteing meetings (very, very badly) making phonecalls to patients, booking meeting rooms and more.

My short term memory is poor. My mid term memory is pretty poor and my long term memory isn't up to much either.

Someone asked me to do something. I took notes and wasn't able to do it immediately so put the note to one side.

I was just leaving my desk, when I decided to tidy up and throw away the confidential waste, task note included.

I only realised when I went to do something similar to what I was originally told to do.

I had to ask for all the information again so I could finally perform the task.

The staff I work with come into contact with patients. Children.

Children of all shapes, sizes and diagnoses.

One asked if I had ADD as I behave like many of the patients she's seen diagnosed with it.

I'm 49 and she deals exclusively with children. I wasn't thrilled with the question but politely answered no, I'm dyslexic.

She left me wondering, though.

Over the past couple of days, I've been reading about ADD and ADHD and her question kinda, sorta makes sense.

I tick virtually all the boxes for ADD. I tick virtually none of the boxes for ADHD.

At 49, I still have almost 20 years (possibly more) of working life ahead of me and I need to get a grip on whatever's hampering me.

After nearly 17 years on antidepressants which have done little for me and cause physical side effects which have required their own prescriptions, would I be unreasonable to go my GP and ask for an ADD assessment?

OP posts:
SafeToCross · 19/03/2017 09:41

No, adult ADHD/ADD diagnosis has much more awareness now - take in a good list of all the things you struggle with. One of my colleagues was recently diagnosed. And not sure if you are female but lots of recent articles about how differently women and girls present, so often go undiagnosed. Good luck, hope you can find some good advice.

Lolipoplady · 19/03/2017 09:45

YANBU. A colleague of mine was diagnosed in her thirties. Apparently her mum was diagnosed the same week! She has now had adjustments made at work, snazzy software etc. to help her work more effectively.

Tiredbutfuckingfine · 19/03/2017 09:46

I think that would be perfectly reasonable, go and see the GP.

In my non-medical experience of colleagues with dyslexia and ADD, they usually are super intelligent and also they have a problem with their "executive function" it sounds like you have difficulties with that. That's the ability to manage time, tasks, juggle priorities, remember that important comment someone made in passing etc

Good luck Flowers

Gingernaut · 19/03/2017 09:47

Thanks. I suppose my big problem would be appearing to be one of the 'worried well'.

I just don't want to seem like I'm haunting the surgery.

Because of the antidepressants, I have to visit once a month and don't want to appear to be some sort of hypochondriac.

OP posts:
PrincessPlod · 19/03/2017 09:48

I don't think it you be unreasonable to ask go for ADD testing they may say no but you might be able to pay privately. I'm a police officer with dyslexia and I will be honest at times it a struggle but I was diagnosed 10 years ago. Work have just given me a laptop for statements but mainly I've got a diary I live by, lists everywhere and like you high IQ does help.

I've always jobs in admin and yes there is pressure but you can do it, just keep calm as flapping is the worst.

YerTiz · 19/03/2017 09:48

I think it could give you some peace of mind either way, so yes visit your GP. Wish you all the best Flowers

BeyondUnderthinking · 19/03/2017 09:49

Your history sounds very much like mine, I was diagnosed with asd at 30. Lots of crossovers between asd and add.

ClemDanfango · 19/03/2017 09:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gingernaut · 19/03/2017 10:01

Will Mumsnet cause an increase in the number of women going to their GPs for ADD or ADHD diagnoses?

Ok. I'll book an appointment. If I'm not referred, I can pay for a private assessment.

I just needed a second opinion before I saw yet another doctor for yet another problem.

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 19/03/2017 10:09

A friend of a friend had been treated for bipolar for years with limited success but was diagnosed with ADHD in her mid 30s; it's been a revelation now she's on the right medication.

Olympiathequeen · 19/03/2017 10:12

Ex DH has ADD. Never been diagnosed and refuses to address his issues. He ticks every box for the disorder and I tick none. He was so difficult to live with and his disorganisation cause us both unbearable stress.

There are coping mechanisms which help mental health and life skills, so I would look at getting diagnosed.

NormaSmuff · 19/03/2017 10:19

i have a note pad, which i dont throw away, so i am able to refer to it and double check that I have done all that is needed.
if that is any help op.

Gingernaut · 19/03/2017 10:27

I have notepads, post its and online calendars and my phone.

OP posts:
NormaSmuff · 19/03/2017 10:29

but if it is all written on the notepad there is less chance of losing the vital information.

NormaSmuff · 19/03/2017 10:30

but surely we All forget things op?

NormaSmuff · 19/03/2017 10:31

you said you put the note to one side?

RupertsMum2 · 19/03/2017 10:32

When I read your list of symptoms I immediately thought you sounded just like me. I have never been diagnosed but have ds1 with ADHD, ds2 with ASD and ds3 with no diagnosis but a bit of a mix of both and I have no doubt I also have a mix of both. You should certainly go to you GP especially as you may be on medication you don't need.

BlossomCat · 19/03/2017 10:37

I went out on a works do, we all got quite merry. Late on in the evening, a psychologist I'd worked with for years asked me how I cope with my ADHD.
It was news to me, but made so much sense! (Having a son with it should have been a bit of a clue...)
Even having that thought put in my head has made the way I manage my scattiness and going off on a tangent easier to deal with, as I can see theres a reason for it, not just me being a bit shit at life.
Good luck with getting a diagnosis.
Maybe look at this thread adult adhd

FallenSky · 19/03/2017 10:38

DH was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 28. This was after going through the assessment process for our DS and him realising that was him as a child. He went through the assessments himself after taking a list of his symptoms to the gp. He was diagnosed with severe attention difficulties and moderate hyperactivity. The change in him since starting medication has been nothing short of amazing. He is still the same person, to be fair he is still quite "hyper" but our house a busy one anyway, but his memory and focus has improved massively.

It's never too late, op. DH says his only regret is not having been diagnosed earlier as he has flitted from job to job over the years never really understanding why everything was so difficult for him.

OhTheRoses · 19/03/2017 10:52

DD started to get depressed and anxious in Y10 as GCSEs ratchetted up. Self harming by cutting and small overdoses by Y11, anorexia by Y12. Never quite fulfilled her promise but very, very bright and quiet so nobody ever noticed. Dropped out of Y12, restarted the following yr at a more pastoral 6th form. Started AD's first time in Y12. Took an overdose in run up to Y12 exams due to stress and anxiety. Diagnosed two weeks layer with ADHD ADD variant. Diagnosis took 18 months and £4k privately. There were a lot of issues caused by it that had to be dealt with. All crystal clear now. I think I had traits and my father may have had it.

There was no NHS support available for DD of any worth. Ifcwe had had to rely on the NHS she would be on a downward spiral and would have dropped out. She's also mildly dyspraxic.

Am sure much teenage self harm is related to underlying conditions such as this and the importance now of exams and qualifications. In my day dd would probably have done a secretarial course.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 19/03/2017 10:58

As has been said, there is much more awareness now and many adults are going on to get diagnoses of ADD/ADHD/ ASD etc., and finding that they explain so much that previously they've put down to "being just a bit shit really".
So yes, go to your GP and start the process - it's a good idea.

OvariesBeforeBrovaries · 19/03/2017 11:10

I'd definitely ask for an assessment. One thing to point out is that technically ADD doesn't "exist" - it's ADHD-PI, ADHD-PH, ADHD-C (primarily inattentive, primarily hyperactive, combined). ADHD-PI is what would have been classed as ADD.

I always thought I was just disorganised/messy/rude/weird. All through school I was high achieving but lacked focus, wandered around a lot. I believe the phrase was "Just because you can get good grades without effort doesn't mean everyone else can so stop distracting them" Blush but - probably because I was a girl, and this was the 00s when it was all about diagnosing boys with ADHD - it was never picked up on through primary or secondary school.

I read a MN thread and realised that a lot of things rang true. Went to the GP, had a psychiatrist appointment three weeks later and was diagnosed and medicated the same day. The medication has made such a huge change to my life and is helping me to develop coping methods. I so wish someone had picked up on it earlier.

This is a pretty good article about ADHD in adult women, although it is American I think.

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Gingernaut · 19/03/2017 17:20

Thanks everyone. Sorry for the delay in getting back to you, I've been gardening.

I'll make a non-urgent appointment as soon as I can.

OP posts:
MrsTwix · 19/03/2017 17:46
Gingernaut · 19/03/2017 17:49

Thanks MrsTwix. Much appreciated.

OP posts:
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