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To think DP should stay home today?

(116 Posts)
newnamechange84 Sun 19-Mar-17 09:06:34

So, I've been ill since Thursday morning - yesterday I woke up in agony, body aching and in pain, very swollen tonsils and headache - I thought either viral or flu. Couldn't, and still can't, stand up on my own. So as not to drop feed this has probably been exacerbated by the fact I have a physically degenerative condition which has flared up. My DP went to work at 8.30 yesterday and by the time my dad had popped in, at 12.30, my three children, youngest 3, had been left to sort themselves out. DP arrived home at 5pm and my parents took kids up they're house. OOH GP came very late and confirmed flu/virus. I've woken up this morning still unable to do anything, I've been in bed since 10 on Friday night - normally I'll carry on through anything but this has really hit me for six. DP has his kids every Sunday - this means that as I can't be on my own I've got to go to my mums all day, he's often not home till after 10pm. I'm not exaggerating, I'm in absolute agony and can't even get to the toilet on my own. I know it sounds selfish but AIBU to think that DP should be staying home with me today? Or should I 'man up' a bit?

Chloe84 Sun 19-Mar-17 09:12:28

YANBU. You can't manage your own 3 and DP's 2 on your own and it's alot to ask your mum to take on.

Do you always have DP's kids on a Sunday while he's working?

DP needs to man up and take a day off.

PaperdollCartoon Sun 19-Mar-17 09:14:04

It doesn't sound like he's working, it sounds like he's out seeing his kids. Is that right?

newnamechange84 Sun 19-Mar-17 09:15:10

DP's kids live half an hour away. Normally he picks them up and brings them back to our house and we have all five together. He doesn't work Sundays. My parents spent all day yesterday sorting stuff out here, house is a mess cause it's just me that really does anything, although DP has done some bits since last night - probably due to the fact he's been allocated his own washing basket since I got fed up a fortnight ago.

GirlElephant Sun 19-Mar-17 09:15:28

YANBU. He needs to find someone else as a minimum to look after his own children. Would your parents keep your own DC for another day?

If he can't find someone else to take his DC for the day he needs to take an emergency day at work

Hope you feel better soon. Flu is horrid and as you have health issues it must be even worse for you

newnamechange84 Sun 19-Mar-17 09:15:29

Yes paperdoll, that's right.

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered Sun 19-Mar-17 09:15:47

Do you mean 'take a day off' from seeing his DC or work? The latter YANBU, the former YABU.

Lilaclily Sun 19-Mar-17 09:16:24

Can't your mum come to you ?
I wouldn't stop him seeing his kids tbh

CherieBabySpliffUp Sun 19-Mar-17 09:17:25

I don't think it's fair on his kids to miss contact because you are ill. Can't your parents come to you?

newnamechange84 Sun 19-Mar-17 09:17:29

My parents were here most of yesterday, my mum was working too but kept popping in, she can because of the job she does. I think they want some time in their own home.

Rainatnight Sun 19-Mar-17 09:18:07

You poor thing, I've had that kind of flu thing and it's awful.

I'm not sure I understand why DP seeing his kids means he has to be out till 10? Could be not have them at home and look after all the kids together?

CaptainBraandPants Sun 19-Mar-17 09:18:09

I don't see the problem. confused. Am I missing something here?
He stays home and looks after all 5 DC.
Hos DC shouldn't miss out on seeing their dad because you are ill.

newnamechange84 Sun 19-Mar-17 09:20:58

The kids Mum often doesn't come home till very late - on occasion it's been around midnight. We're both ft students but at the moment I'm mainly trying to support us all financially - DP is still continuing to pay an excessive amount of cm

NapQueen Sun 19-Mar-17 09:23:55

Cant you just hide away upstairs and sleep and he can have all the kids either downstairs or take them out and about?

khajiit13 Sun 19-Mar-17 09:25:35

Can't DP the kids with him?

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Sun 19-Mar-17 09:25:40

I agree captain, he just picks them up a usual and brings them home, what's so complicated about that?

If the OP means he should not see his children and just stay home with her and their children together just because she is ill then that would be unnecessary and incredibly unreasonable.

khajiit13 Sun 19-Mar-17 09:25:46

Take the kids with him sorry

Graphista Sun 19-Mar-17 09:37:30

I don't think his dc should miss time with dad BUT he needs to get his arse in gear and do a lot more than his own bloody laundry!

This was first of 2 threads I've read in 5 mins with ill mners with what sounds like the virus I'm just getting over.

Headache, sore throat, catarrh-y cough, fever, dizziness, nausea, stuffy nose.

If so...

Usual lemsip/paracetamol for the headache/fever, decongestants if not lemsip for stuffy nose, drink loads (NOT milk avoid dairy) plenty tissues (as once the catarrh starts coming out there's loads!), don't lock bathroom if in loo/shower as the dizziness can hit hard and fast.

Normal throat sweets useless for me this time what worked better was...toffees! Weird I know!

Hope you feel better soon flowers

Meowstro Sun 19-Mar-17 09:37:58

Provided I'm understanding you correctly, can't he stay at home and look after all the 5 DC so he can be around to help you if necessary? You can stay in bed all day. For drop off take your kids with unless he can put them to bed before he goes.

If you're asking him not to see his kids because you've got the flu then you're being unreasonable.

Penfold007 Sun 19-Mar-17 09:40:13

He's a father of five and needs to step up and care for all five.

MuncheysMummy Sun 19-Mar-17 09:48:09

Yes I also have no idea what the issue is? He nios out and picks up his kids brings them back to your (and his) house and looks after all the kids at home whilst you stay in bed?? Takes them out to the park etc does their lunch and tea etc etc just generally behaves like a dad!

mickeysminnie Sun 19-Mar-17 09:48:29

Are you saying your partner is working today or that he is going to his ex partners house to see his children?

SookiesSocks Sun 19-Mar-17 09:48:29

DP is still continuing to pay an excessive amount of cm

What does this have to do with anything hmm

He should collect his kids come home care for everyone then take them back later.

Why should he take the day off from seeing his children?

MuncheysMummy Sun 19-Mar-17 09:48:46


HermioneJeanGranger Sun 19-Mar-17 09:53:06

He needs to take all the DC out for the day. He is a father of five, after all.

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