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Can I have a hand hold?

(16 Posts)
fairysparkletale29 Sun 19-Mar-17 08:05:03

I don't feel my life is on the right track. My days are hectic, split between my 2 DC (2 and 4), my dog, a full time job & my house which obviously needs to be cleaned, laundry to be done, food to be cooked.

I am a single mom with no family support (my parents live in Spain), my dog is actually a 6 month old puppy who still needs proper training, my children are small.

My job is incredibly demanding and for the next month is going to be approx 12 hours a day. It is good money, I can afford all we need and a bit of what we want, but I am tired.

I do sleep at night, but it's not resting sleep, is just sleep and that's it.

Also got a diet from my dietician as I need to lose a stone and that also makes me feel weaker and hungry which might influence my thinking.

WWYD? How can I sort my life a bit?

Lilaclily Sun 19-Mar-17 08:07:28

Sorry to ask but what we're you thinking buying a Puppy?,
Who looks after it when you're out 12 hours a day

Anyway my tips would be stick with the diet it will make you feel better and more able to cope, make sure you have good childcare in place, get a cleaner if you can afford it, try to get some me time even if it's using a creche for the kids while you go to the gym on a Saturday morning

fairysparkletale29 Sun 19-Mar-17 08:09:10

@Lilaclily I used to work part time until 2 months ago until they basically forced me to either move on full time or quit.

The cleaner tip is amazing, asking for recommendations today actually! Thanks!

missyB1 Sun 19-Mar-17 08:13:52

I was a single parent working full time for five years it's bloody hard so I totally sympathise! flowers

Can you seriously cope with this puppy? I'm not going to berate you for getting it I just think you need to ask yourself if keeping the pup is feasible.
Do you have a cleaner? If not get one. Also do you ever get a night out? Ask for recommendations of good babysitters. Try not to spend your days off fretting about it all, just enjoy the kids and remind yourself what an amazing mum you are.

fairysparkletale29 Sun 19-Mar-17 08:20:48

@missyB1 my last night out was 7 months ago... I just feel exhausted. The puppy's fab, bless him, we've done training and he progresses so much every day!

How did you survive those 5 years? It sounds incredibly tough!!

SmileEachDay Sun 19-Mar-17 08:26:05

The puppy can help with the weight loss. Join an agility class - helps with training and you get some exercise!

Unless it's one of those tiny dogs. They struggle with agility....but could probably do a modified version grin

SetPhasersTaeMalkie Sun 19-Mar-17 08:28:19

If you can afford a cleaner then ask if they do ironing too. My mum's cleaner does and it is so helpful.

Look into booking a babysitter if not for a night out perhaps a lunch with friends. Or perhaps a hobby? You need down time.

These are all ideas involving having a bit of spare cash though.

I've been a single parent for many years now but have every second weekend to myself which I am so glad of.

CoffeeBreakIn5 Sun 19-Mar-17 08:30:56

A diet to lost a stone shouldn't be making you feel weak and hungry, you should be feeling less sluggish and have more energy. Can you follow something like slimming world instead? A stone isn't a huge amount to lose so being a little less rigid with the diet won't hurt and it might just take a little longer to come off but you won't have to make such huge changes.

Look at the Victoria Stilwell Positively website, there are loads of helpful tips on positive dog training and crate training so the puppy will feel secure even if you aren't in. You'll definitely need a dog walker or sitter if you're leaving it for long periods of time though, it's not fair if you're working 12 hour days. They can be expensive but totally worth it, they can help you with training too.

Plan, plan and plan, know what meals you're having and when. Definitely get a cleaner, preferably one who does washing and ironing too. Have more sets of uniform than the dcs need and then you won't need to do emergency washes, give yourself some time off by using a crèche or a babysitter and going to the gym or something (or even nothing!).

SetPhasersTaeMalkie Sun 19-Mar-17 08:35:53

Yes more sets of uniform than needed is a great tip. Also the meal planning. I did that when DS was younger and really enjoyed it. I would make double what we could eat and freeze the rest. He also got used to having the same thing to tea twice in a week if I forget. It's a small thing but frees up head space which is vital when you are so busy.

hannahbanana2007 Sun 19-Mar-17 08:40:01

Agree with all the previous tips, and as well as the meal planning do your supermarket shopping online - if you are flexible when you get it delivered slots can be really cheap. Means you can shop from the comfort of your sofa with a film rather than dragging kids round the supermarket

SchnitzelVonCrumb Sun 19-Mar-17 08:47:12

No tips as I am a SAHM with no extra income to hire a cleaner

But do what ever you can to catch a break. Cleaner, dog walker, meal plans sent to you anything!

Have a solid bedtime routine

Lilaclily Sun 19-Mar-17 08:52:06

I'm glad you're looking into getting a cleaner today smile that work situation sounds horrid
Perhaps you could get a dog sitter too?
Agree with batch cooking and stocking up the freezer at the weekends
Use the weekends to chill and catch up, don't feel like you need to put in loads of activities, don't accept every party invite going, we did that when our two started nursery and reception and made ourselves miserable making small talk in soft play places every weekend for about a year !

LorLorr2 Sun 19-Mar-17 08:54:57

It may help to keep your purpose in mind. It might actually help to sit down with a piece of paper and really think about who you want to be to your family and your workplace and what you want to bring to the people in your life. It might make you feel less burnt out and more confident in why you do what you do.
For the house, a hired cleaner would be a great addition! Make it clear to them what you want done. Also you could try batch cooking on the weekend, which is where you cook some meals to be frozen then during the week you just pull out what you want to eat that night and heat it through like a ready meal but homemade. The kids could help too?
You are doing really well so give yourself credit smile

fairysparkletale29 Sun 19-Mar-17 10:22:54

@SmileEachDay oh jeez, he's an english bulldog, far from tiny!!!😂😂😂 amazing tip!!!!! Looking for an agility class!

fairysparkletale29 Sun 19-Mar-17 10:23:18

@SetPhasersTaeMalkie thanks! You people here are amazing...

fairysparkletale29 Sun 19-Mar-17 10:24:21

@CoffeeBreakIn5 i guess it's just the fact that i ve been eating so much crap before the diet that ofc my body feels weak on 1300 kcal/day! Thanks for all the advice!💐

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