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OH evil step mum

(14 Posts)
blondehair Sat 18-Mar-17 21:20:48

OH has a step mum who seems to be up herself, 2 faced and thinks she's so much better than everyone else just because she has a bit more money than the rest of us.

She constantly sits there slagging me, my mum and other family members off but will sit there pretending she's all nice when you see her. She will also drink so much that she starts fights with everyone and then makes out she hasn't done anything wrong the next day.

When she found out I was pregnant (obviously was going to be one of the first being married to OH dad) she managed to tell everyone, when I didn't want to make a big deal out of it.

She has never really got on with OH either, and kicked him out now god knows how many times when he was younger.

I haven't really bothered talking to her for a good year and a half now. I have never been rude to her but just don't see any point in having contact with her as she seems to come out with sarky and horrible comments every time.

She is now trying to make out she wants to be a massive part of the family again (although she was calling me every name under the sun when she found out) and is offering to buy things (the cot) etc.

I received a message the other day saying "get some advice off someone who actually knows what they're doing, and I will buy a cot" (she doesn't actually have kids and any kid in the family will not go to her). OH is now making out she isn't really as bad as what I'm saying and that I should let her get things now she's trying.. but I know it's all an act to make out shes had to get the big things and will just rub it in everyone else's face. I didn't reply to the message as I genuinely had nothing to say.

This is my first baby and I don't really want someone I don't get along with to buy the bigger things. I've told OH that obviously because she's married to his dad, that I wouldn't ever stop them coming to see baby when he's here and if they want to buy outfits etc then I don't mind but he's saying I'm unreasonable.

I probably sound pathetic but she does my head in!! X

QuiteLikely5 Sat 18-Mar-17 21:28:52

I would let her buy the cot. Sometimes war is necessary and I can advise you wisely that a cot is not worth the hassle

emmyrose2000 Sat 18-Mar-17 23:01:18

YANBU. I wouldn't let someone I don't like buy my child something important like the cot either.

blondehair Sat 18-Mar-17 23:44:10

Thanks for the posts x

It just winds me up because I'm not a bad person and now it's getting turned around on me for saying I don't want anything off her😕

Should be a time to be getting excited and I'm just getting wound up because she's putting on a big act so she can be involved x

youvegottabekiddingme Sat 18-Mar-17 23:50:58

Just buy the cot yourself first and all other big necessaties then reply to tell her that you have been getting advice from people who know what they're doing , just as she had, coincedentally, suggested.

youvegottabekiddingme Sat 18-Mar-17 23:51:16

But thank her too.

blondehair Sat 18-Mar-17 23:57:45

Yeah, I ordered the pram online the other day so I think this is why she's piped up all of a sudden.

I spoke to my mum about it all and she's said just to let her know that we've got all the main things we need too. Sounds like the best idea, and will just say thanks for offering. Know for a fact il be seen as ungrateful or something but she can get stuffed.

Just annoyed me at the fact she said "get some advice" ... on a cot, like I think I know what sort of thing I want my baby to be sleeping on😒

youvegottabekiddingme Sun 19-Mar-17 01:39:14

There is the possibility that she meant she'll buy the cot after you've got someone's advice, not her advice. Maybe she is trying to be nice.
I know it is difficult anyway to let anyone 'take over' preparations, especially when it's your first. Just try not to give much thought to her. Reply with thanks and smiles and get on with doing things your own way.

Crispbutty Sun 19-Mar-17 01:43:22

That reads to me that she meant she didn't have a clue about cots but wants to buy you one and you to let her know which you want.

Let her get it and maybe try to build a future better relationship between you all. If it's what your partner wants too then it may be easier in the long term.

ZilphasHatpin Sun 19-Mar-17 01:45:30

Yeah, I ordered the pram online the other day so I think this is why she's piped up all of a sudden.

How did she know? Sounds like you need to be more careful with who you say what to.

Otherwise, just don't get yourself annoyed by her. Either let her buy the cot or don't. Make a decision and stick to it and then keep contact as minimal as possible. Smile and nod when you have to see her and ignore everything she says. Honestly, you're just working yourself up for no reason otherwise.

fruitbats Sun 19-Mar-17 01:50:21

Evil - really?

Trifleorbust Sun 19-Mar-17 04:12:26

She meant advice from someone who isn't her, i.e. someone who has had kids. It was meant to be humorous...

SeaEagleFeather Sun 19-Mar-17 06:50:25

you cant ever win with people who turn stuff back on you. Smile, nod, let the small stuff go, with the big stuff thank her for the advice and tell her that you've got it sorted.

If she rolls up with something big and tried to force it on you, then say with dignity that she needed to check with you first. Cot counts as big to my mind (physically and metaphorically).

She'll make you out to be the bad guy, but try to let it roll off your back if you can. If she really is unpleasant, I guarentee that other people that she moans to will be quietly sympathetic to you even if they don't say so. They don't want to be involved.

justilou Sun 19-Mar-17 08:37:22

Find the most expensive cot on the market. Diamon-encrusted, platinum bars, good enough for WAGS and see what she does next. (If she buys it, you can return it and come out ahead!)

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