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To feel uneasy with him turning up everywhere?

(19 Posts)
MadJeffBarn Sat 18-Mar-17 13:21:01

A few years ago I had a cheeky snog with a guy in a pub. Dh knows and was fine about it. This guy added me on Facebook after but I told him straight up it was a drunken mistake and that nothing would ever happened. He got abit creepy, sending me pictures of him clearly pleasuring himself. I promptly unfriended him and didn't think about him again. He popped up in my messages 3 weeks ago after we bumped into each other in the same pub. I ignored him completely, but perhaps stupidly engaged in small talk as not to seem rude on facebook. I've stopped replying but I was getting several messages a day, so I blocked him. Now he seems to be everywhere. Baring in mind I hadnt seen him in years, hes turned up in my area, in my local shop, on my bus. He doesn't live round here. I stupidly told him the area I lived in the first time we met when he seemed relatively normal. Maybe I'm just noticing him because he's started messaging me again though? I'm probably being paranoid for no reason and obviously I don't know him well enough to know why he'd be in my street and perhaps he has friends round here but it makes me feel uneasy.

KinkyAfro Sat 18-Mar-17 13:53:31

I'm still surprised that DH knows and was fine about it I'd have kicked your arse out!

WorraLiberty Sat 18-Mar-17 13:56:38

If you had even the slightest hint of maturity about you, you wouldn't have added him to Facebook in the first place and even though you did, the second he got 'creepy' you would have blocked him and kept him blocked.

Is there a chance you enjoy the drama a little bit?

Genuine question.

DrunkenMissOrderly Sat 18-Mar-17 13:56:48

When someone adds you on Facebook there is an option not to accept the request. Why on earth did you accept his friend request?

DrunkenMissOrderly Sat 18-Mar-17 13:58:08

And he was sending you dick pics but you kept chatting to him on fb as you didn't want to seem rude? Hahahahaha!!!

Italiangreyhound Sat 18-Mar-17 14:01:23

Mad please speak to your local community police officer and find out what the best course of action is.

Kinky unless you are married to the OP I'm b t sure how your comment is relevant!

Italiangreyhound Sat 18-Mar-17 14:02:06

Sorry that should say I'm not sure...

MadJeffBarn Sat 18-Mar-17 14:16:44

I knew I would get flayed for a few points here so I'll explain a few of them..
Yes, DH knows and was fine about it. Because he used to go out and do it too. We never slept with anyone but forgave the odd drunken snog. We don't do it anymore, simply because we're older, more mature, and don't drink often.
Yes quite right, shouldn't have accepted his Facebook request.
And yes, quite right, should have blocked him alot sooner.
No, I don't enjoy the drama.
Please bare in mind it was 4 years ago, I was alot younger and more stupid. Now I realise the implications of how it sounds.
Now can we get back on track?

Iamthinking Sat 18-Mar-17 14:26:14

Are there reasonable explanations for why he is where he is? Is it reasonable that he is on your bus, for instance?

Maudlinmaud Sat 18-Mar-17 14:34:13

The way I read it the op isn't aware of any details of his life now, so he may have moved to her area so that may be why she sees him around more often. Ignore him op and don't get into coversation.

suzy2b Sat 18-Mar-17 14:58:37

no she said she unfriended him when he sent picturs

DameDeDoubtance Sat 18-Mar-17 14:59:42

He sounds as if he is stalking you which can turn nasty. Keep a record and completely disengage, don't acknowledge him in any way, shape or form.

elodie2000 Sat 18-Mar-17 15:23:22

Now can we get back on track? hmm
Open relationship or not, Have I got this right...you were sent explicit pics by this man, unfriended him, saw him again, ignored him and then engaged in small talk on FB?
Why?

HermioneJeanGranger Sat 18-Mar-17 15:35:32

Why don't you just block him?

TheApeOfDeath Sat 18-Mar-17 16:20:18

Doesn't really matter what happened before imho. If he's giving you the creeps he's probably being creepy.

Have you told your DH about the recent events? Seeing him and stuff?
Make notes of when and where you see him. It's so easy to forget things day to day. Might help you get the situation clearer in your own head. It shocked me when I started making notes.

I dealt with the hell of being stalked for over 3 years. Years of constant terror I will never get back.

I'd had a relationship with my stalker. Who cares if you drunkenly snogged him. Fucking hell!! No one has the right to terrorise you whether you friended them on FB after they sent you penis pics or not!!

I wish I'd recognised the signs as the weirdness ramped up.

This may turn out to be paranoia or seeing him more often because he's on your mind but it could be the start of something more sinister.

There are organisations who can help too if you feel it's too early for police involvement. Advice online etc.

deloresclaiborne Sat 18-Mar-17 16:46:48

if this happened 4 years ago and its only now you have started seeing in your area could he have met someone who lives in your area and its just a coincidence

Topseyt Sat 18-Mar-17 17:03:18

Just block him on FB, keep him blocked and do not engage in any "small talk" under any circumstances, whether on social media or in the pub. It isn't difficult.

If you end up feeling that he is stalking you then speak to the police on their 101 number.

Italiangreyhound Sat 18-Mar-17 17:11:33

Mad I do 't think you owe us an explanation. , You had a Snog, so what, don't deserve to be stalked for it.if your Dh accepted it so be it. Your business.

If you think this man is stalking you, speak to the police about what to do.

Italiangreyhound Sat 18-Mar-17 17:12:01

Don't think

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