To finally give my honest opinion

(5 Posts)
mrsfuckedoff Fri 17-Mar-17 23:23:00

Have NC for this as quite identifying. A very close friend keeps asking my opinion on the troubles she's having her marriage and if I'm honest I just skim over it because I really don't want to lose my friend. But she's asking me regularly now and I feel that she might just need a push in the right direction, or to know that someone else thinks the same way she does.
Here goes:
Her husband has cheated on her several times, and because of the dc she's always taken him back. She's now mum to one of his dc due to an abusive ex.
She's not allowed even an occasional night out, because she used to get really pissed in her younger days (im talking ten years ago) and for want of a better term was a little bit 'loose'
She's never even looked at another man since she got with him and he bloody well knows it.
She's not allowed male friends, only acquaintances i.e. work mates and even then she has to be extremely careful how she behaves towards them. Yet he can have female friends and go places with them like shopping or accompany them to things they ask for example picking up something they've bought on for sale or swap. His reason is that they're also friends of hers - which is true but if she pissed off out with them it would have to be convenient for him i.e. Kids fed and watered, house clean and more than an hour or two would cause him to be funny with her.
She does 95% of the house work and things with the dc even though they work similar hours - her just one less day a week. She's just had a really bad bout of illness which needed a hospital visit and she didn't even get 24hours before she was back on her feet cooking his tea and washing fucking pots.
Next time she asks me do I just tell her I think he's a piss taking chauvinistic cunt? Probably in better less harsh words like 

WorraLiberty Fri 17-Mar-17 23:30:47

Why wouldn't you have said this already?

The fact she's asking your opinion, probably just means she wants you to confirm what she already knows.

And if that's not the case, it's all the more reason to tell her.

mrsfuckedoff Fri 17-Mar-17 23:40:22

He would definitely try and come between us and I'm so afraid of that 😞

user1489189598 Fri 17-Mar-17 23:58:36

Don't give "advice" . In RL people don't want it and they generally blame the messenger.

Just keep gently trying to move her round to a position where SHE admits what's going on and says she wants things to change.

And then be ready to help her facilitate this.

Look into what her options might be, so if she ever feels ready to leave you can help her go.

mrsfuckedoff Sat 18-Mar-17 00:44:35

I would love to just tell her that I think he's a cunt and she deserves sooooo much better 😭

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