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Well is he?

(19 Posts)
IsHeADickOrIsItMe Fri 17-Mar-17 20:25:48

DP...Is he a total prick or AIBU?

We've both been working full time all week and have stresses of car and holiday (and issues with my DC behaviour) going on. I've been on hold to holiday company for over 90 mins while he was coming home from work. I have a massive headache and he's feeling stressed about car stuff. He's about to leave to get us a takeaway, and asks me to do some more holiday stuff while he's gone. I say I will but have a headache and really don't want to do it right this minute. He tells me 'Ok but I don't want to have to ask you again'! He then starts picking stuff up asking why it's lying there. I say it's not necessary to deal with it right now and he gets frustrated and begins raising his voice. I remind him I have a headache and he argues he's not shouting, while continuing to raise his voice. I tell him I've had enough and am going up to lie down. He then begins to properly shout as I'm on my way upstairs about how out of order I am. He then comes up and says he's sorry for raising his voice. I tell him it really wasn't on to continue to rise his voice when I'd told him I had a headache. He says he doesn't agree as he was frustrated and I have to understand his frustrations. He says he doesn't even know what he just apologised for and carried on ranting (that he thinks I should have just done the holiday stuff despite my headache and that he can't help commenting on stuff lying around) while I lay in silence on the bed, head pounding. I eventually lose my cool and yell at him to leave me alone. He goes downstairs telling me he has toothache so I have no right to yell at him.

So...dick or no dick?

dangermouseisace Fri 17-Mar-17 20:28:12

so he's 'sorry not sorry'

he's being a dick.

user1483387154 Fri 17-Mar-17 20:29:52


Pinkhousealreadyinuse Fri 17-Mar-17 20:30:13

Absolute cunt

Ellisandra Fri 17-Mar-17 20:31:48

I think there's a glimmer of hope that he spontaneously apologised - and depending on what actually happened (guess you had to be there...) you possibly through an olive branch back in his face.

I suspect his version would paint you as the dick.

Me and STBXH and picking stuff up? It wouldn't be petty nit picking but my utter frustration that he kept leaving our home a shithole.

If he's usually like this, he's a cock. But I can easily imagine a version where you're both nice people who handled a stressful day badly.

flowers for 90 minute call! shock

Ellisandra Fri 17-Mar-17 20:32:30


Rubberubberduckduck Fri 17-Mar-17 20:34:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IsHeADickOrIsItMe Fri 17-Mar-17 21:20:21

Thanks all! Update: He has now been up, lay on the bed next to me with his arm around me and apologised again for raising his voice and asked me to come back downstairs. I still with huge amounts of venom in my voice asked him did he understand what a prick he'd been. He said it wasn't all just him and that I was clearly still angry so he was going back downstairs. I stormed down 5 minutes later, flounced into the kitchen and dramatically took some painkillers and have now flounced back up to lie on the bed.

Neither of us have eaten and I am now desperate for that kebab he was going for before it all kicked off!

So tell I now a dick or no dick? confused

limon Fri 17-Mar-17 21:28:45

Yanbu.and he was a dick

You were a dick not to accept his apology gracefully though (dh does this all the time.-.wants to carry on telling me how wrong I am once I've apologised. I tell him I'll go and flagulate myself.if that's what he wants.

Ellisandra Fri 17-Mar-17 21:47:01

You're a dick.

Unless he has form for being an utter cunt and making meaningless apologies to shut you up.

You've now twice thrown spontaneous apologies back at him. He's right it isn't just him. And throw in your passive aggressive dramatic pill taking.

You were a bit dickish before, but less than him. This time, you outdicked him.

Crumbs1 Fri 17-Mar-17 21:58:07

Sounds ridiculous. If you have a headache take paracetamol.
If arranging a holiday is so stressful it creates conflict do something simpler or stay at home.
If you're child is misbehaving, sort that out rather than whining.
I would think if you were that poorly you wouldn't want a takeaway.
You sound like a moaner, to be honest.

Lovewineandchocs Fri 17-Mar-17 22:06:00

I still think he was a dick. There's nothing worse than having a sore head and someone going on at you about stuff. And he actually said tu should have continued to do the holiday stuff despite your headache then, despite having yelled at you, when you understandably lost your cool and yelled back, he tried to play top trumps with his toothache. Then he apologised again for raising his voice-not for the way he spoke to you and not for being unsympathetic about your headache. Then tries to get you to come back downstairs when clearly all you want is to lie in a dark room. You have my sympathies, hope your headache is better soon flowers

MsJudgemental Fri 17-Mar-17 22:07:54


MuncheysMummy Fri 17-Mar-17 22:12:28

You were the dick he's apologised twice and you continued to metaphorically beat him about the head! Know when you've won and shut up! He's apologising and it's not enough what do you want, it written in blood???

FeliciaJollygoodfellow Fri 17-Mar-17 23:06:00

I don't think OP was a dick at all confused

You were doing something, he asked you do another job while he orders a takeaway, as it's a) not urgent and b) you have a headache you say you might not do it tonight.

So he gets all pas-agg tidying up and tells you he doesn't want to have to tell you again before yelling at you! And he's given you a 'I'm sorry you're upset' apology, meaning learn you're place woman, when I tell you to do something I mean do it, even if you have a solid reason not to.

Get on Just Eat and order your own kebab. And tell him you're not his slave, or his child, and he's not your boss. So bossing you about is not on.

chitofftheshovel Fri 17-Mar-17 23:10:58

You actually sound like quite hard work. Sorry.

FeliciaJollygoodfellow Fri 17-Mar-17 23:18:13

Holy fuck, your not you're.

TheNaze73 Fri 17-Mar-17 23:21:19

He sounds like a dick, you sound high maintenance

DoJo Sat 18-Mar-17 00:31:15

If you're child is misbehaving, sort that out

This should be Mumsnet's new slogan.

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