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When you're away from your kids

(14 Posts)
rightyouarethen Fri 17-Mar-17 17:59:29

How often do you speak to them?

Ex went on holiday on Sunday. He last saw DS(11) on Saturday morning. Hasn't called him or texted since. I couldn't not speak to him in that time, so just wondered if there are others here who wouldn't feel it necessary? From the abrupt "nope" I received when I asked if he'd heard from him, I sense DS finds it a bit off, but I left it at that.

Annesmyth123 Fri 17-Mar-17 18:03:05

I didn't used to contact mine in between visits and neither did their dad unless there was something to tell.

Usually. Don't forget your pe kit or did you tell your dad you have music on Tuesday not Wednesday this week.

He used to go away all the time and not contact them. I went away on holiday with DP for a long weekend and a bit last month and other than texting to let them know I'd arrived and then again when I was at the airport leaving to come home I didn't text at all. They are now 18, almost 19 and 22.

MrsPussinBoots Fri 17-Mar-17 18:15:09

DD is only 3, so this is bound to change. But at the moment she visits her dad 4 separate weeks a year and I don't contact her during that time. He sends me updates and photos. I know she'd get upset if I facetimed - I've tried before. It would make me miss her more too.

nownownotnow Fri 17-Mar-17 18:20:29

My ex goes a fortnight without speaking to them. Sees them eow.

He's a dick and I hate him.

nownownotnow Fri 17-Mar-17 18:21:24

Just realised that's not what you asked as I'm resident parent. Sorry blush

WhooooAmI24601 Fri 17-Mar-17 18:24:17

DS1's Dad sees him once or twice a month depending on his work and DS1's activities (he does a lot of sports and some rugby matches and judo training sessions he refuses to miss). He calls him occasionally through the week but not often.

If I'm away from the DCs I phone every night to say goodnight. DH Facetimes them before bed every night he's away. No idea why we started it, I suppose so the DCs get to at least speak to him even when he's away.

Ex seems good at compartmentalising DS1 so it's a bit out-of-sight. For me and DH it's different as we live with them so haven't ever had to get used to missing them in the same way. It would drive me nuts not living with my DCs, I guess cutting yourself off a tiny bit might be considered self-preservation.

SaucyJack Fri 17-Mar-17 18:25:17

Can easily do a week when my older two are at their dad's in school holidays. They like their time with him- they don't want me ringing them up and wittering on.

We communicate a bit more now they're older and they have FB, but I still wouldn't ring them for a chat.

I must just not love them as much as I do DD3 who I talk to everyday as she lives with me and her dad.

sailorcherries Fri 17-Mar-17 18:29:49

Aside from his fortnightly visits to see DS the ex hasn't phoned to speak to him since December.

WavingNotDrowning Fri 17-Mar-17 18:31:04

I speak to mine via whats app that's all when I'm away from them (am a single parent too) That means I don't communicate with the younger 2 in that time.

I recently went away for 2 weeks without my children. Didn't speak to the younger ones at all although I sent her a photo and she sent me loads of emoticons (whats app). Communicated with the older ones via whats app and instagram.

I think that my younger 2 would have been upset by speaking to me actually (they're 4 and 8) and I know that my mum (who had them) would have phoned me if they were missing me. I missed them a lot by the end.

sailorcherries Fri 17-Mar-17 18:31:23

I speak to and see DS every day and phone in the night/morning if he stays at my parents (once in a blue moon). I never phone during exs time though although he does occasionally phone me.

rightyouarethen Fri 17-Mar-17 18:33:08

He normally stays with his dad at least twice a week, so technically speaks to him at least 4 days, and often his dad will phone him one of the nights he's not there to see how he got on at his sports activity, or just for a catch up. I think if he was used to not seeing him regularly, it wouldn't seem so obvious that's he's not been in touch all this time, if you see what I mean.

TheCakes Fri 17-Mar-17 18:35:47

Mine don't speak between visits, so EOW. Is DC upset by this or just you? Seems pretty normal on here.

OhDearToby Fri 17-Mar-17 18:43:21

My dd is nearly 7 and if shes with her dad for a week I would speak to her a couple of times, whether I'm away somewhere or just at home. Sometimes she uses his phone to text me, mainly the poo emoticon. I would text her dad most days to see how she is/pass on information I've forgotten to tell him. We're all very used to this arrangement as we've been separated since she was a baby.

If he's away for more than 4/5 days (works away a lot) he'll normally speak to her on the phone. He'll at least speak to me to check she's okay.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners Fri 17-Mar-17 18:46:56

If I am away with work I don't usually speak to my son unless for a specific reason, but then he's a teen and I'm rarely away for more than one night at a time. I used to miss him terribly when he was younger and I was away, or he went on holiday with my parents. I don't think I could have gone away and not wanted to speak to him when he was tiny.

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