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AIBU?

Foolish move on my part but who's BU?

77 replies

Mummybear8 · 17/03/2017 16:46

Parked my car in a car park to local shops on way to school run. Nipped in for one thing which took 2 minutes. Left my 18mo in the front seat, half asleep, strapped in, doors locked. Car within my view, due to large glass window at front of shop/till area. Come back to a man and a woman stood outside my car taking pictures of my car, my baby inside it and taking down my reg. He then proceeds to lay in to me about how dangerous it is leaving a child in the car, he's reporting me, I'm disgusting, can't I see what I've done etc.
I know that I probably should not have left my sleepy baby in the car and that it was a stupid thing to do and obviously won't be doing it again after this incident, I am bloody beside myself and petrified I'm going to be in trouble with the SS. I have been furiously googling and, whilst I'm yet to find any info saying it's actually illegal to leave a child in a car unattended (however foolish it was to do it, please go ahead and prove me wrong if I am and it is illegal), it is illegal to take pictures of other peoples children.
On the same note, what do you do when you're getting petrol? Do you leave your kids in your locked car on the forecourt whilst you run in and pay or take your child in every time?
Thank you

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SparkleTwinkleGoldGlitter · 17/03/2017 16:49

If I can't pay at pump I take my baby in with me, I've never left her in the car.

Leaving the child in the car isn't what I do but I can't imagine social services would be interested as it was only for a few minutes so I'd stop worrying

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NavyandWhite · 17/03/2017 16:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Whathaveilost · 17/03/2017 16:53

Bloody hell! Havthat couple been watching The Replacement by any chance!!

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CanIGoToBedNow · 17/03/2017 16:54

Pah - I do it all the time, SS will not do anything and those people can bugger off!

If you'd done a full shop then I'd have an issue with that but you didn't. Stop beating yourself up over it.

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Pinkheart5915 · 17/03/2017 16:54

If there is no pay at pump I take both my babies in with me, I've never left them in the car.

Having said that I honestly don't think social services would be interested and I'm not sure how the person would report you and even if they did look in to it the cctv will show you only being gone a matter of minutes. So I'd not give it another thought

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Annesmyth123 · 17/03/2017 16:54

There is no law about taking photos of other people's children In a public place.

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Factorysettings · 17/03/2017 16:59

Well the photo will be time stamped and you will have a receipt so it should be fairly easy to demonstrate that you just nipped in. I can't imagine ss would be the least bit interested. As you say, most people leave their kids in the car when they pay at the garage.

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Mummybear8 · 17/03/2017 17:00

Yes I did tell them I was only two minutes and his reply was "no you've actually been five, I've been sat here the whole time". When he said he'd report me I said "ok fine"

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sonyaya · 17/03/2017 17:01

Social services will not give a shite. They might issue you with "advice" about doing it in future but they are overstretched enough dealing with the children that are actually at risk and won't have the time, money, or inclination to get involved with you (assuming as I do that your child is otherwise well cared for).

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EeyoreNeededMedication · 17/03/2017 17:02

I don't think it'll come to anything and I've done very similar to you.

I also wouldn't change what I feel is good parenting because of a couple of busybodies.

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PutTheBunnyBackInTheBox · 17/03/2017 17:03

Mummy I wouldn't let it worry you. I'm sure I did the same thing once or or twice when DC were young. And I agree with pp, I really can't see SS being interested in this. Flowers

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1981trouble · 17/03/2017 17:05

So, they were worried enough to take the time to take a photo and note registrations, but not worried enough to try and find the parent/carer or get help like call 101. Misguided priorities and overdramatic so based on that, they are bu in how they handled it.

I am one who always leave the kids in the car at petrol stations or if I can see the car directly at all times from the shop and it's a short queue. I perceive Trying to shepherd three across the Car park is more dangerous than them being strapped into a car seat in the car. I Wouldn't if it meant being out of sight (so I would have seen a commotion around the car from the tills?).

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Mummybear8 · 17/03/2017 17:07

Yes absolutely he is well cared for, never ever had SS involved before and he is not my first baby.
Typically on this day though, he had fallen asleep whilst eating a bloody chocolate biscuit (which I removed from his hand before I got out of the car) and his face was covered in it, so of course - he looked grubby and uncared for which probably didn't help!

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Mummybear8 · 17/03/2017 17:12

Yes but I (wrongly) presumed the person who took the photos had gotten out to talk to the other two people who I presumed they already knew, who were standing on the other side of my car. I didn't notice he was taking photos so this must have been whilst I was in the process of paying that he did that.

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Witchend · 17/03/2017 17:16

The police got involved on our estate with someone who was doing it regularly. They actually had someone waiting at the time they normally did it.
I don't know if there was any other issues involved, but I was surprised how seriously they took it.

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allegretto · 17/03/2017 17:18

I wouldn't worry about it OP - they sound like a couple of busybodies. You did nothing wrong.

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unfortunateevents · 17/03/2017 17:21

If the car with your child was in sight the whole time though, why didn't you immediately go out when you saw them looking in the windows and taking photos?

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2014newme · 17/03/2017 17:23

You were in the wrong.
My rule of thumb is I don't leave my baby where I wouldn't leave my handbag.
Its not against the law to take a photo in this case.

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Pixilicious · 17/03/2017 17:28

There were being ridiculous, you've done nothing wrong. You could see you child the whole time, I wouldn't worry about it. Bloody busy bodies.

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chloesmumtoo · 17/03/2017 17:32

It is not something I ever done personally and wouldn't want too, remember the story at the time about a car thief who drove off with someones baby.
But I never drove much when my dc's were little - just to playschool/school. Hated driving and dp always filled up with petrol so I had it easy tbh. I still would be paranoid though and would worry about any risks. I am that way inclined. However I saw this topic on 'this morning' I think recently and was surprising how many mums do/did just the same as you.
Try not to worry, I am sure nothing much will come of it.

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Aridane · 17/03/2017 17:33

This isn't The Replacement!

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contractor6 · 17/03/2017 17:33

I did this once the other day, parked car directly in front of shop window and was in view the whole time. Don't think there is a one size fits all.
People used to leave kids in prams outside shops, at least car they are locked in.
Wouldn't risk it in hot weather though.

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Isitjustmeorisiteveryoneelse · 17/03/2017 17:33

Jesus, didn't you watch The Replacement? Also, it's not illegal to take pictures of other people's children, it's not illegal to take pictures of anything/anyone in a public place, unless of course they could be considered indecent. I get what you're saying, baby asleep, you could see the car etc, but things that go wrong happen very very quickly. Another car crashing into your parked car e.g. I like the pp reference to never leaving a baby unattended where you wouldn't leave your handbag unattended.

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knowler · 17/03/2017 17:35

Busybodies. They should save their concern for a situation that actually warrants it. Locked in a car while asleep for 2 mins within your sight? Give me strength.

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Occadodo · 17/03/2017 17:43

I've got three with gaps of 23 months and 20 months. They are now 5,7&9.
I have ALWAYS left them in the car when paying for petrol!!! Only a lunatic would. Insider getting 3 kids out of a car to pay for petrol.
DS7 is disabled so st one stage I would need to have strapped 1 into a sling, 1 into a wheelchair and hold the hand of the third. Jacob st to pay for petrol!!!!???? It's much safer to leave them in the car!!!! In fact I have never in 40 years seen someone with a kid in a petrol station!
I've done the same with a shop... 2-3 minutes.... some people are ott! Social services not the police will be interested !

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