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to send our neighbors a little something?

(75 Posts)
passmethewineplease Fri 17-Mar-17 13:21:20

We live in a semi detached house and the walls aren't all that thick.

I have three DC, two of whom regularly wake up crying in the night and are incredibly noisy. Like stupidly loud. They are a bit behind development wise and as such their understanding is a bit limited. One goes out of her way to make loud bangs and noises whilst the other likes to squeal. They're 2 and 3.

I'm really worried we're pissing off our childless neighbors. We are trying to discipline them accordingly and remove certain items which cause the noise but somethings we can't remove so we try to remove them though this creates a loud tantrum in itself.

Would I look a bit weird if I dropped a little something off for them? Just like a sorry about the noise at the moment and a little
bottle of something?

Or would they think WTF? I can't decide!

passmethewineplease Fri 17-Mar-17 13:22:02

Oh and I turn we often tell them off. It I'll admit sometimes we do raise our voice which I know doesn't help matters but sometimes after a full day of it, my patience wears thin.

viagrafalls Fri 17-Mar-17 13:24:14

I think that would be a lovely gesture.

BirdPerson Fri 17-Mar-17 13:24:29

Are you on speaking terms with your neighbours?

sonyaya Fri 17-Mar-17 13:25:04

I have been the childfree neighbour on the receiving end, and while I appreciate there's nothing that can be done to keep children silent so didn't resent our neighbours for the noise, if they'd sent a little card I personally would have thought that was a lovely thing to do!

Starlighter Fri 17-Mar-17 13:25:19

That's a great idea! I often cringe at my noisy kids as our neighbours next door are retired and very quiet. I might do this too.

What was you thinking? Ear plugs and sound proofing materials?? grin

harderandharder2breathe Fri 17-Mar-17 13:27:42

That's a lovely idea.

Most people will realise that children are sometimes loud and living in semi detached you will get some noise.

Schwifty Fri 17-Mar-17 13:30:16

Bottle of vodka and some ear plugs, job done! You sound like you're doing your best and I think this is a lovely idea. Do you talk to each other already or are you shy / worried? This might be a nice ice breaker.

Schwifty Fri 17-Mar-17 13:31:34

This reminds me of a discussion around handing out bites and sweets on aircraft before long flights with children, which tickled me can you tell I don't have kids

Schwifty Fri 17-Mar-17 13:31:58


5foot5 Fri 17-Mar-17 13:33:21

I think that is a nice thing to do and a little gesture like that might go a long way towards keeping the relationship cordial. How about making them a cake?

BirdPerson Fri 17-Mar-17 13:33:42

Bottle of vodka and some ear plugs, job done! You sound like you're doing your best and I think this is a lovely idea. Do you talk to each other already or are you shy / worried? This might be a nice ice breaker.

Ah, so that's who took my username wink

BeetlebumShesAGun Fri 17-Mar-17 13:38:20

We did this when DD2 was going through a waking in the night screaming phase. She is the loudest baby I have ever heard anyway. The screaming was horrible. DH nipped round with a box of chocs and explained. They really appreciated it and said she was no louder than their dog barking anyway (which isn't true but it was nice of them to say!)

BackforGood Fri 17-Mar-17 13:44:14

Not sure you need a physical gift, but apologising is a nice thing to do - it's all about having a chat, asking them to pop in for a cuppa or a glass of something, getting to know each other, etc., and letting them know you are aware, and are doing your best.

pringlecat Fri 17-Mar-17 13:51:18

As the neighbour, this would increase my tolerance/patience considerably, especially if the little something came with a note saying "we are trying to get this to stop; we understand the noise is unpleasant for you." The knowledgement that the noise won't last forever would really go down well.

aaaaargghhhhelpme Fri 17-Mar-17 13:55:42

We took a bottle of wine over for when dc2 was teething and sleep training.
They were incredibly grateful and repeatedly said it wasn't a problem (bless 'em the walls are paper thin)
A few months later they were building a wardrobe and asked me when nap time and bedtimes were so they could avoid doing any work when the Dc were trying to sleep.

passmethewineplease Fri 17-Mar-17 13:55:42

Thanks all, I think I'm going to go for it, we're not on big speaking terms just a smile/wave/hello.

I like the cake idea but I'm trying to be nice not punish them. grin so I might buy one, I'm not sure if they're drinkers anyway. But surely everyone loves cake!

IHeartDodo Fri 17-Mar-17 13:57:27

I think it's nice, my neighbour sent me a card when her dog had puppies! It didn't help with the noise obviously but (a) I knew why it was so noisy, and (b) I felt considered smile

ComeOnSpring Fri 17-Mar-17 13:57:37

Wonderful idea. I think it would be a good thing to do.

cjt110 Fri 17-Mar-17 13:58:05

Our sons bedroom adjoins our neighbours lounge. At one time when he was in his cot, he would stand up and bang on the wall when he woke up because he wanted to get out.

I caught lady neighbour in the lift one afternoon and apologised if she ever hears him. About a year on she still gently reminds me she cant hear anything whenever we see her and I apologise incase our son has disturbed them at all.

I think sometimes, the fact that you even acknowledge your children make a noise and mention to your neighbour you're sorry if it disturbs them will likely be thanks enough because they know you are aware of it and trying to keep them from being disturbed. I know I'm less likely to get annoyed if (other side) neighbours knock to say theyre having a party and hear music late at night than just hearing music blaring as they are being considerate.

KingLooieCatz Fri 17-Mar-17 13:59:00

Slightly off topic, the letting agent was showing the flat downstairs to some potential tenants last week as trombone practice kicked off in our flat.

The downstairs flat comes with dire warnings that if you're noisy you'll get evicted, so the irony wasn't lost on us.

I ran down to tell them as DS is 8 the trombone will never be heard for more than about 10 minutes or after about 7pm.

isthishouseamidden Fri 17-Mar-17 14:10:56

We did this. We never saw our neighbours (very quiet, kept themselves to themselves) I left a card and some hot cross buns for them to apologise. It was very well received and we got a lovely letter back.

cockadoodledude Fri 17-Mar-17 14:14:42

Agree OP that would be a lovely gesture.

I similarly share thin walls with a neighbor, who allows their dog to bark non stop for hours on end (morning, noon, and night!). She's mid twenties, not hard of hearing but content with letting the dog bark to it's hearts content.

We're 33 weeks into our first pregnancy and I can't tell you how excited I am for baby to arrive and revenge to ensue!


GeorgiePeachie Fri 17-Mar-17 14:16:52

send earplugs?

LorLorr2 Fri 17-Mar-17 14:26:53

I thought this was going to be about earplugs too! Haha

I think a note/small gift would be much appreciated and it's a very nice idea. You might end up being good friends smile

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