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Beauty Treatments & DD's

(33 Posts)
FairytalesAreBullshit Fri 17-Mar-17 12:30:25

I was wondering what people thought about girls getting beauty treatments. I was talking to my sister and her 16 year old, she was saying how it's nearly payday, so fake tan, waxing, nails the works. At 16 I don't see it as that much of an issue, but it is something that she's been doing since 13/14 with waxing and nails. I kind of get eyebrow waxing at an early age, I can't see nails helping at school with the practical stuff they do.

Should we teach young women to embrace natural beauty, or support all these treatments and makeup from 13/14.

I know make is an age old thing that we had to scrub off in my days at school. But as I'm getting older, I want to promote natural beauty to DD. Although maybe DS needs it too as he's obsessed with his hair and having muscles, hoping he can grow an epic beard one day.

What do others think?

BirdPerson Fri 17-Mar-17 12:37:19

To be honest, I think the best message we can pass on to young girls is that they can do whatever they want, as long as they are doing it for their own happiness and not the approval/acceptance of others.

I started wearing make up from the age of about 14, purely because I felt that I looked prettier without it, and it made me feel more confident about myself. And now, at 25, I wear it when I can be bothered, because I acknowledge that, although there is such a thing as natural beauty, I don't possess it.

TotalPineapple Fri 17-Mar-17 12:40:05

I'm hoping I can raise DD to appreciate her body the way it is (she's 6 months, so I've got time), but if she wants to modify it my questions (after why?) will be 'is it safe, is it practical, and is it allowed at school?'

I don't 'get' eyebrow waxing at any age to be perfectly honest, unless they're particularly out of the norm and the poor girl was getting bullied or something, even then I wouldn't be normalising trips to beauty salons, I'd be handing her the tweezers or buying home kits.

But I think the 'beauty industry' is just a really good way to waste money and lower self esteem, so I'm probably biased.

HarryPottersMagicWand Fri 17-Mar-17 12:44:50

😁😁 at epic beard!

YANBU. I think 16 is too young for this.

whatsfair Fri 17-Mar-17 13:11:56

It's not really a free choice though is it? The pressure on girls to look a certain way is huge.

I would allow some things, bit of waxing, make up and hair dye. However no nails as they can't be removed for school and only minimal make up for school (tinted moisturiser and a little mascara for example). It's good for young women to experience having to be make up and enhancement free at least some of the time. I knew too many girls as a teenager who wouldn't leave the house unless caked in make up. In most cases it's not a fun form of self expression - it's the crippling lack of self esteem that can come with puberty, being exploited by the beauty industry and the media - IMO.

specialsubject Fri 17-Mar-17 14:16:59

More of a worry is that it only happens near payday, which indicates too much month at the end of the money and a very poor choice of financial priorities!

Eyebrows can be plucked with a £1 pair of tweezers. The oompa loompa look. Is bloody silly. And elaborate nails stop you doing much.

DonaldStott Fri 17-Mar-17 14:38:12

While I understand the pressure on girls today, I am really going to try and raise my dd with the values my mum raised us all with. Instilling self/body confidence.

Eyebrows can be plucked with a £1 pair of tweezers

I disagree with this though. It is definitely worth investing in a decent pair of tweezers if you are going to pluck at home.

ShowMePotatoSalad Fri 17-Mar-17 14:57:36

I think eyebrow waxing is a good idea. Grooming is a good thing - it's what humans have done for millennia. It doesn't mean you're fake or beauty obsessed.

I would say it's better to get a professional to do it than leave an inexperienced young teenager to do it themselves.

Giddyaunt18 Fri 17-Mar-17 15:32:21

I have a 16 yr old. I take her to the hairdressers a few times a year, nothing else. she chooses to wear make-up, never does her nails and not bothered about tanning. I don't encourage these things. I've always done my own nails,brows and hair removal .

Giddyaunt18 Fri 17-Mar-17 15:33:51

Oh and she plucks her own eyebrows, very well I might add. There are so many tutorials on youtube, she does her own make-up really well.

VestalVirgin Fri 17-Mar-17 16:00:52

To be honest, I think the best message we can pass on to young girls is that they can do whatever they want, as long as they are doing it for their own happiness and not the approval/acceptance of others.

It is not always possible to tell the difference between those two.

Especially as for a teen, the approval of others = happiness.

And the beauty ideals you have in your head are always put there by others, unless you live in the forest and never read magazines, see movies or read books with descriptions of what people look like.

I wouldn't encourage or enthusiastically support any "beauty" treatment, but also not make a big deal out of it.

FairytalesAreBullshit Fri 17-Mar-17 18:23:28

I can remember fads at school like the perm, so I totally understand feeling like you need to do something because others do.

When I wear make up now, I'll say to whoever, can you see anything different, all excited, they honestly can't because it's so subtle. I'm one of these who has a million shades of makeup I'll likely never use. My DN would have a field day with my make up collection.

I hold my hand up and say when I've got my eyebrows waxed, they never look how I want. A bit like the haircut joke we have, where we compliment the stylist but are screaming inside.

Ericaequites Fri 17-Mar-17 18:33:02

Fake nails are neither sanitary nor appropriate for school.

Really good tweezers are best for plucking eyebrows. I had a unibrow, so started at 13. Too often, waxing can leave you surprised and like a boiled egg in appearance. It's much better to have a professional wax than waxing anything at home.
At 21, I tried waxing my shins and calves at home. My legs looked boiled, and it hurt rather. My mother, my maternal grandmother, and I laughed at the box instructions. It advised using "care" when waxing the "bikini area." If it hurt that much on my shins toughened with field hockey...

ipkin Fri 17-Mar-17 18:44:00

I know of 12/13 year old girls who have regular fortnightly/monthly beauty treatments, seems to be eyebrow threading/waxing manicures and highlights, and full make up. These are mostly dance/stage school pupils, but this is not for the stage. The parents (mostly mothers) seem to do the same, so perhaps they're just following example.

nannybeach Sat 18-Mar-17 12:40:19

Too much too young, guess if you are out at work, 16h makeup, you dont need fake tan etc. these things soon become an obsession or adiction. Look after your skin yes.

HunkyDory69 Sat 18-Mar-17 14:38:44

With regard to OP's original question about what we should teach teens re beauty, may I suggest taking a look at

bodyimagemovement.com/see-embrace-uk/

which is a recent documentary about women's self image and self esteem and how it is shaped by the beauty industry, fashion, ads, etc.

QueenOfTheCatBastards Sat 18-Mar-17 14:56:40

My daughter periodically goes to get her tache ripped off by someone in debenhams. It bugs her so she gets it done. She can't be bothered with much else.

I wouldn't be happy with her going all out beauty queen purely because it's a fuckton of money and time to be wasting at 14 and I'm not prepared to fund it.

BitchQueen90 Sat 18-Mar-17 15:10:59

I don't have DDs but I don't see anything wrong with beauty treatments if it makes them feel good. I don't know where people get the idea that fake nails stop you doing stuff, I have long fake nails and I manage fine. I get my eyebrows done because I like them a certain way and I can't do them myself. I get spray tans when I go on a night out (which is rare to be honest!)

If the parents can afford it then I think it's fine. 16 is old enough IMO. As long as the school allows it of course.

MrsJayy Sat 18-Mar-17 15:18:57

Why can't girls choose to look nice if they want a bit of nail polish isn't doing much harm is it ? Personally my dds didn't tan but shaved and waxed from young teens I think women/girls can wear to much make up but as long as they are happy what harm are they doing? You can instill self worth in teenagers as well as them wearing make up and getting their nails done

MrsJayy Sat 18-Mar-17 15:21:07

Dd2 went to get her nails done with a bit of nail art at 14 not my thing but she enjoyed it

remoaniac Sat 18-Mar-17 15:27:00

I think it's very sad that a 13 year old is so worried about her eyebrows that she goes off to get them waxed or threaded.

Men don't put themselves through pain and discomfort to look nice for women.

But until all mothers stop all their daughters from doing it, it will continue to happen because of peer pressure, bitchiness and the feeling that everyone else is doing it.

I was 17 before I shaved my legs, although I did shave under my arms from the moment a hair first appeared there but I just didn't and don't like hair there. But I have always felt I am only removing leg hair because of social constructs.

MrsJayy Sat 18-Mar-17 15:40:50

So if you had a Dd was being teased to the point she took scissors to her eyebrows you wouldn't take her to get them waxed? Why is underarm hair different to eyebrow or leg hair.

MrsJayy Sat 18-Mar-17 15:46:44

There has been upteen posts from women who said my mother stopped me shaving/waxing as the poster was to love herself for herself and these women were miserable teenagers I would much rather listen to a girl saying i want to shave my legs than stop her or she cuts herself on a blunt man razor like i did because I wasn't allowed oh and only tarts wore make up

christmaswreaths Sat 18-Mar-17 21:23:13

It surely is all about balance.

I was always very hairy and at 11 years old I cut myself with a blunt razor and caused a huge scar on my leg I still bear today. When my own daughter was 11 her legs were very hairy/dark and she told me she hated wearing shorts/going swimming and could she use a razor.

I tried putting her off for a while as she was young but in the end she started to freak out and remembering how I felt I bought her an epilator. She has been epilating for a year now. She feels so much happier and the hair is already growing finer so doesn't use it very often, probably one a month if that.

Make up - only came up because she has spots and is worried about them. Having tried lots of remedies/creams, etc...with little result, she now wears some tinted moisturizer when they are very red. It makes her feel less conscious at school.

There are girls who go for the whole tanning/Mac makeup/waxed eyebrows, but it becomes an obsession and they spend ages in front of the mirror/at the beauticians/doing themselves up when they should be investing time in more fun things to enhance their lives.

It's a balance really, but it is hard to achieve as there is a lot of pressure.

Sillybillypoopoomummy Sat 18-Mar-17 22:17:17

With regard to the beauty market - the world wants to sell us stuff. The way they (mostly) do this is to make us feel unhappy with ourselves, to invent or exaggerate appearance problems and try and sell us the panaceas. Teach acceptance and cynicism (within reason) to the beauty market and help children realise that if they are confident and happy, they don't need such things. had this disturbing coversation with 8 year old DS today, and then watched him kick ass in his karate exam grin

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