My dd1 is nearly 13, and was diagnosed with ASD just over a year ago. She has had a rough few years - she had a bit of a breakdown in the last year of primary, and wasn't going at all for a while. When she did go back she wouldn't join in with lessons, she'd just sit with her head on the desk. She didn't have any friends at all and would spend all break times sitting on her own.
When she started secondary, there was a massive improvement. The school have been really good and supportive, and she has made a couple of friends which is groundbreaking for her. But she's mentioned a few times that the other kids think she's a 'loser', and this week went into a bit more detail about that.
One example is some boys walking past and saying 'hey dd, do you want to go out with xxxx?'. Dd said 'no', and the boys pissed themselves laughing and said to the boy in question 'haha, even dd won't go out with you'. Another example was she was eating her lunch by herself and a group of girls said 'hey dd, do you want to come and sit with us'. Dd thought that was nice of them and went and sat with them. Then one of her (2) friends (who wasn't there at the time but is friends with the girls she was sitting with) said later that one of the girls had been filming dd eating her lunch on her own and posted the video to snapchat, sending it to all her contacts, with the caption 'loner'.
It seems like it's low level stuff like this going on all the time. Dd is doing so well, she has massive anxiety problems so even going to school is a massive thing for her, and she's come so far from where she was a couple of years ago, and those little scotes at school are just chip chipping away at the little self confidence she has.
I don't know what to do about it, I think there's so many kids doing things like this to her that it wouldn't be a case of taking a few kids to one side, it's pretty much everyone. I feel so desperately sad for her, at home she is so bright and funny, she has a very dry, mature sense of humour, but at school she's just like a nervous little mouse. I've offered to home school her but part of her anxiety is based on a massive fear for her future, so I think she'd be hesitant to do something which would mean she probably wouldn't get such good results. I don't think moving her would help, for a start she's terrified of change and just doesn't want to go to another school, and also the school she's at is comparitively small and gets excellent results (it's a state boarding school), so sending her to a bigger comp would be like chucking her in the lions den.
Just wanted to vent really.
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AIBU?
AIBU to want to never send dd back to school?
54 replies
WildBelle · 16/03/2017 19:16
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