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People on public transport...

(23 Posts)
BlueNeighbourhood1 Thu 16-Mar-17 18:37:18

I live in the North East and started a new role in January. As part of it I need to travel into Newcastle city centre each day, so to save on parking costs I drive to a Metro station and get the Metro system the rest of the way (about a half hour journey)

The way the seats are laid out, you have four seats, two banks of two facing each other. And the way in particular men invade your space either sat next to you or opposite you infuriates me. I'm a slight girl, then again a size 10, but long legs so I spend a lot of it hunched up. But examples include:

1) An old man sat opposite me, his legs spread as far wide as he can with a backpack in between. So I can't put my bag down on the floor as he's taking all the floor space. Arms wide as reading the paper - and smells badly of BO

2) Tonight (which is what prompted me to write this) a big guy plopped himself into the seat next to me, and must have bashed into me about twelve times over the course of his journey. Squished me right practically against the window and was taking up almost two thirds of the seat.

Most people on that Metro won't give up a seat for anyone older or pregnant, I was amazed when people bury their heads in the newspaper rather than offer a seat! The layout of the tube in London is perfect. Seats side by side all the way down the carriage and also plenty of room to stand. Metro is terrible for this.

So, AIBU for expecting people to respect people's personal space and actually make an effort with hygenie on public transport?! Or have I just had a super long day at work and everything is annoying me sad

mumonashoestring Thu 16-Mar-17 18:50:07

Stop squinching - if you're a size 10 chances are you've got good sharp elbows grin

I honestly think it's some kind of coping mechanism - we're not meant to spend so much of our lives all squashed up together in artificial light so we block out the fact that we are in a public space. Or something. Would certainly explain some of the behaviour you see on the tube, trains, buses...

Deadsouls Thu 16-Mar-17 18:53:37

I've experienced this on crowded tubes being squashed between two men, spreading legs, using both arm rests, really taking up space.
People eating smelly food, leaving rubbish. Feet on seats and so.

helpimitchy Thu 16-Mar-17 18:57:35

Geordies not giving up their seat for pregnant women or elderly people? sad

They're well letting the side down there.

I used to travel on the metro many moons ago and it was always nice and civilised.

TyneTeas Thu 16-Mar-17 19:02:00

If you are on Twitter and use the Tyne and Wear Metro, you should follow @Metro_Manners grin

Vinorosso74 Thu 16-Mar-17 19:13:13

I live in London but use the metro when I visit my parents in the north east a few times a year and I have see a lot of bad metro manners. People pile on the train before people have managed to get off, no moving down the aisles-let's just congregate in and block the doorways instead, people sitting with feet on seats, people sitting on aisle seats and making it very difficult for anyone to get to window seat, my dad (in his 70s) got up to let a woman sit down one day-she was well in her 80s but nobody else got up (DD and I were already standing).
Not saying the tube is perfect but there is an etiquette which the metro doesn't have.

peukpokicuzo Thu 16-Mar-17 19:16:13

Always go for an aisle seat. Then if the person in the window seat is a bit broad you are just slightly over to one side in your seat but not being squished against anything.

StorminaBcup Thu 16-Mar-17 19:19:38

I used to get the tram to work (Manchester) and the absolute worst thing I ever saw was someone clipping their nails. People are so crammed on that no one has any personal space but the worst offenders are those that don't take off their backpacks. They either clout the seated people on the head as they walk through the carriage or take up more room if they're standing.

Sharpen up your elbows OP! Or start clipping your nails wink

GlitterGlue Thu 16-Mar-17 19:25:32

I give no fucks these days and will take my full seat and ask men to close their legs if they don't automatically move up. If their legs must be that wide apart then they must have a serious medical issue.

Some really hate being asked (politely) to budge up and sometimes get quite aggressive. Same as when you walk towards them, but don't swerve to let them charge past. I've been called a cunt and told to get of their way a couple of times.

DJBaggySmalls Thu 16-Mar-17 19:28:09

Agree with PP who said elbows and aisle seat, and take no prisoners.

LeggyLinda Thu 16-Mar-17 19:31:57

On my train you can't even see a seat never mind sit on one. So part of me thinks YABU. However, I have experienced the same as you when I have sat so YANBU to want a bit of respect for your personal space and is one of the reasons I now prefer to stand regardless of whether seats are available. It's just the way public transport is during rush hour I suppose.

John4703 Thu 16-Mar-17 19:32:13

I hate people who take up more than the right amount of space. I had a real argument with a woman on a train, we were both in booked seats and sitting next to each other. I put the arm rest down and she asked me to leave it up to give her more space. I said "no" as any extra space would mean she was partly on my seat.

Janey50 Thu 16-Mar-17 19:36:49

I'm a tfl (London transport) user of many years standing. In my experience,men do the 'manspreading' thing wherever they happen to be in the country. It's certainly not unique to Newcastle! I am a larger built woman,but I do try to ensure that I'm not spreading over onto the adjacent seat on a bus. Not so the men I have the misfortune to sit next to. Many is the time I have found myself sitting half off the seat, or squashed into the side of the bus due to some twat man spreading his legs wide apart. But...it's not just men. I have noticed that many women have this odd habit,that when they sit down,they don't direct their backside in a straight line to the seat. They do this thing where they position the side nearest to me at an angle,so that they bash me with their hip as they sit and sometimes end up half sitting on my lap! It wouldn't bother me so much,but as well as having 2 types of arthritis,I have fibromyalgia,so I don't appreciate being bashed about by someone sitting next to me. Regarding your comment about the layout of the tube trains on London,yes I agree they are well designed,but unfortunately their design doesn't make anyone more likely to offer a less able passenger a seat. I have experienced this many times,despite hobbling onto the train using one,or even 2 sticks. I'm usually standing right next to the priority seats,but not once have I been offered a seat by anyone using them!

BlueNeighbourhood1 Thu 16-Mar-17 19:44:14

Pleased to hear it's not just me!

I'm just far too polite to ever say anything but the guy tonight did get a look of disgust when he apologised for the millionth time for banging into my arm. It's the layout, if they were like the tube I don't think there'd be as much of a problem as every single seat is defined as that users seat. The metro is different, it's just people taking up as much space as they want and expecting everyone else to fit around them.

It's the guy with the bag that infuriates me more, he's a typical Benidorm type guy, backpack I had at school in the 90's, thick gold chain, polo shirt buttons open and perma tanned chest complete with white chest hair on show. And the smell! Yuk. I'll make sure I'm in a seat far away from him tomorrow.

TyneTeas Thu 16-Mar-17 19:51:26

I use the metro daily. For the most part people are decent but there are still too many who aren't

PonderLand Thu 16-Mar-17 19:54:43

In Leeds a few weeks ago a guy made his dog sit on the seat next to me and he sat in the spare seat in front. On the top deck! The dog was so so smelly and I'm allergic! Yet I never said anything blush I need to learn to speak up a bit more I think!

AnyFarrahFowler Thu 16-Mar-17 19:55:49

My experience is totally the opposite - no one offered to give up a seat to me on the tube when I used to visit my brother when heavily pregnant (I was 7/8 months and it was blatantly obvious that I was pregnant and not just fat!) but I've never had an issue on the Metro when visiting my grandparents.

gunsandbanjos Thu 16-Mar-17 20:05:07

I hate the bus, I take it to work daily and some people are so inconsiderate.

Sniffers, urgh, please just stop
Smelly people
People who take up more than their fair share of the seat
People with big ass rucksacks who don't take them off, been smacked in the face/head many a time
People who stand in the way when there's loads of seats further back

I'm sure there's more...

CeciledeVolanges Thu 16-Mar-17 20:49:59

People not filling up the centre of tube carriages are the worst. Just the worst.

NotCarylChurchill Thu 16-Mar-17 21:13:28

I love going to war with manspreaders. Tactics:
1. Silently shoving/pressing (except occasionally you'll get a guy who quietly presses back against you as hard as he possibly can).
2. Fake sneezing all over them.
3. Carry coffee cup and pretend it's full of hot coffee which will spill all over their crotch if you're bumped.

WankingMonkey Thu 16-Mar-17 21:15:44

Man-spreaders are almost an epidemic on the Metro. I feel your pain. no advice..I tend to not sit. But then you get the people who 'accidentally' grab your leg, or your boob or something angry

BillyDaveysDaughter Thu 16-Mar-17 21:18:07

I was a daily London commuter and had a Facebook page called "Commuter of the day" especially for those people. I don't do it anymore but the page is still up so if you find it there are some corkers. grin

EnormousTiger Thu 16-Mar-17 22:04:45

I have years at practice of this in London (and am from N/cle so know the Metro well too). I have a very large wheelie bag which is very good to use against manspreaders. I also read the FT which can spread out quite a bit depending on how I choose to hold it!
Also get in early on as soon as you sit to get control of your territorial air space as it were.

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