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AIBU?

AIBU DH wants to visit SIL & BIL - instead of a holiday

48 replies

Working24x7 · 16/03/2017 17:39

DH wants to take me & DS 11 to see his family in Canada. Will cost £5k + and won't be a holiday for me. I had planned a holiday in the Med - much cheaper but SIL on annual leave at the same time. I am paying for all this and work really hard all year to keep family going financially- we have many debts. We have no real family in the UK at all so I get it but so hurt that what I feel doesn't count.

OP posts:

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Floggingmolly · 16/03/2017 17:41

Why would visiting Canada not be a holiday for you?

PurpleDaisies · 16/03/2017 17:42

Canada is an an amazing country. Why doesn't it count as a holiday?!

unfortunateevents · 16/03/2017 17:42

How long is it since you saw your DH's family? Understandable that he wants to see them and have your DS stay in touch with them. Why would it not be a holiday for you to go to Canada?? And why are you paying for it - does DH not work?

Dozer · 16/03/2017 17:43

More info needed!

lessthanBeau · 16/03/2017 17:44

Can you even afford it?

rookiemere · 16/03/2017 17:45

Ok few things here.
Is your DH not working ?
How much are your debts? Tbh if you have a lot of debt then holidays should be UK based and caravan sized rather than Med or Canada

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 16/03/2017 17:45

Lots of debts? Well then, if you can't afford a 5k holiday, you can't afford a 5k holiday. Opinion hardly comes in to it.

Does DH not work?

Working24x7 · 16/03/2017 17:47

His family are from the Middle East and only socialise with their nationality so it won't be meeting the locals. It will be in a humid busy city and not the rest that I need. I had thought of DH and DS having a boys trip but DH not very vigilant re safety etc

OP posts:

MadMags · 16/03/2017 17:49

Is your dh a SAHD?

Surely he can visit any time then? Midterms etc.

If this is going to be your only holiday then I think it should be somewhere you want to go.

Working24x7 · 16/03/2017 17:53

DH has a business that makes a loss - I agree uk holiday better but DH only child and hates kids clubs etc. We don't have anyone to go with. Had planned activity holiday in the Med - realistically probably shouldn't do this either but need the sun and a rest from stress

OP posts:

Dozer · 16/03/2017 17:54

You don't trust your (SAH) H with safety?

Can you afford the trip? Could DH go alone and have a family holiday in addition?

LIZS · 16/03/2017 17:54

Can you go but take a holiday separately there during the time you are in Canada. Not sure why it would be so much if you stayed with family.

Working24x7 · 16/03/2017 17:55

Yes SAHD as bankrupt- nearly list our home of 20 years

OP posts:

2014newme · 16/03/2017 17:55

If you have a lot of debts then unfortunately neither option is a good idea

neonrainbow · 16/03/2017 17:56

You can't afford a holiday. You might as well tell dh to stop talking about it.

Working24x7 · 16/03/2017 17:58

Flights are 3800 premium economy - We are both over 6ft and then petcare, spending money etc for 2 weeks and gifts for his family

OP posts:

Dozer · 16/03/2017 17:59

You can't afford either trip IMO

Working24x7 · 16/03/2017 17:59

Thanks - I am going to go over finances with him - I know we can't afford either

OP posts:

MadMags · 16/03/2017 18:02

Well he's being a bit of a knob really.

He should know it's impossible!

HecateAntaia · 16/03/2017 18:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fuzzywuzzy · 16/03/2017 18:11

I'd do a uk break for much much less we went to Devon and stayed rented a self catering place for four of us was about £600 including food and activities.

We needed a break but have debts to pay off. No way would I dream of adding £5k to our debts, they should be a priority to pay off as quickly as possible!

MrsWooster · 16/03/2017 18:17

Why do you people think holidays are some sort of god-given right and necessity? Book leave and spend time with your ds having fun and picnics. Net cost bugger all.

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ImperialBlether · 16/03/2017 18:17

He needs to stop working for a bloody loss and get himself a job that earns some money before deciding what he's going to spend your money on.

Working24x7 · 16/03/2017 18:17

Thanks for your help - I like the 'priority' idea - I can do a list and then rank them - that will be clear in black and white

OP posts:

ILikeyourHairyHands · 16/03/2017 18:18

Get your bloody debts paid off woman before you consider holidays. We had a considerable debt due to a mid-life crisis failed business venture by DH so I feel your pain, but we battened down the hatches, paid it all off and came out the other wiser and a little poorer (but DH at least got it out of his system...).

Planning expensive trips when you still have that hanging over your head is madness.

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