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AIBU DH wants to visit SIL & BIL - instead of a holiday

(49 Posts)
Working24x7 Thu 16-Mar-17 17:39:01

DH wants to take me & DS 11 to see his family in Canada. Will cost £5k + and won't be a holiday for me. I had planned a holiday in the Med - much cheaper but SIL on annual leave at the same time. I am paying for all this and work really hard all year to keep family going financially- we have many debts. We have no real family in the UK at all so I get it but so hurt that what I feel doesn't count.

Floggingmolly Thu 16-Mar-17 17:41:34

Why would visiting Canada not be a holiday for you?

PurpleDaisies Thu 16-Mar-17 17:42:28

Canada is an an amazing country. Why doesn't it count as a holiday?!

unfortunateevents Thu 16-Mar-17 17:42:46

How long is it since you saw your DH's family? Understandable that he wants to see them and have your DS stay in touch with them. Why would it not be a holiday for you to go to Canada?? And why are you paying for it - does DH not work?

Dozer Thu 16-Mar-17 17:43:30

More info needed!

lessthanBeau Thu 16-Mar-17 17:44:43

Can you even afford it?

rookiemere Thu 16-Mar-17 17:45:01

Ok few things here.
Is your DH not working ?
How much are your debts? Tbh if you have a lot of debt then holidays should be UK based and caravan sized rather than Med or Canada

RunRabbitRunRabbit Thu 16-Mar-17 17:45:22

Lots of debts? Well then, if you can't afford a 5k holiday, you can't afford a 5k holiday. Opinion hardly comes in to it.

Does DH not work?

Working24x7 Thu 16-Mar-17 17:47:32

His family are from the Middle East and only socialise with their nationality so it won't be meeting the locals. It will be in a humid busy city and not the rest that I need. I had thought of DH and DS having a boys trip but DH not very vigilant re safety etc

MadMags Thu 16-Mar-17 17:49:21

Is your dh a SAHD?

Surely he can visit any time then? Midterms etc.

If this is going to be your only holiday then I think it should be somewhere you want to go.

Working24x7 Thu 16-Mar-17 17:53:37

DH has a business that makes a loss - I agree uk holiday better but DH only child and hates kids clubs etc. We don't have anyone to go with. Had planned activity holiday in the Med - realistically probably shouldn't do this either but need the sun and a rest from stress

Dozer Thu 16-Mar-17 17:54:10

You don't trust your (SAH) H with safety?

Can you afford the trip? Could DH go alone and have a family holiday in addition?

LIZS Thu 16-Mar-17 17:54:49

Can you go but take a holiday separately there during the time you are in Canada. Not sure why it would be so much if you stayed with family.

Working24x7 Thu 16-Mar-17 17:55:17

Yes SAHD as bankrupt- nearly list our home of 20 yearssad

2014newme Thu 16-Mar-17 17:55:51

If you have a lot of debts then unfortunately neither option is a good idea

neonrainbow Thu 16-Mar-17 17:56:32

You can't afford a holiday. You might as well tell dh to stop talking about it.

Working24x7 Thu 16-Mar-17 17:58:45

Flights are 3800 premium economy - We are both over 6ft and then petcare, spending money etc for 2 weeks and gifts for his family

Dozer Thu 16-Mar-17 17:59:40

You can't afford either trip IMO sad

Working24x7 Thu 16-Mar-17 17:59:54

Thanks - I am going to go over finances with him - I know we can't afford either

MadMags Thu 16-Mar-17 18:02:35

Well he's being a bit of a knob really.

He should know it's impossible!

HecateAntaia Thu 16-Mar-17 18:06:02

tbh id pay debts off before going on holiday anywhere.
he is being unfair , unrealistic and his priorities are a bit fucked up.

fuzzywuzzy Thu 16-Mar-17 18:11:45

I'd do a uk break for much much less we went to Devon and stayed rented a self catering place for four of us was about £600 including food and activities.

We needed a break but have debts to pay off. No way would I dream of adding £5k to our debts, they should be a priority to pay off as quickly as possible!

MrsWooster Thu 16-Mar-17 18:17:13

Why do you people think holidays are some sort of god-given right and necessity? Book leave and spend time with your ds having fun and picnics. Net cost bugger all.

ImperialBlether Thu 16-Mar-17 18:17:15

He needs to stop working for a bloody loss and get himself a job that earns some money before deciding what he's going to spend your money on.

Working24x7 Thu 16-Mar-17 18:17:54

Thanks for your help - I like the 'priority' idea - I can do a list and then rank them - that will be clear in black and white

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