AIBU re contact/child arrangement order

(3 Posts)
Littlemissindependent Thu 16-Mar-17 17:36:40

Exh has a child arrangement order which states dd spends every other weekend with him, and 50% of his annual leave. He instigated this as the petitioner.
However, he is becoming increasingly unable to stick to this. Not through choice, but due to work (forces). However, when the court order was agreed he told me the army would have to allow him his weekends off when he was due contact with dd.
My main concern is that dd will become confused, not seeing her Dad for a month etc at a time and then him expecting her to be fine when he does show his face. She's been excited about seeing him this weekend and then he's called to say he probably won't be able to come back for another 2-3 weeks. And muggins here has to be the one to break the bad news to her.
Short of exh leaving his job I don't see this changing anytime soon.
AIBU to consider returning to court to have the child arrangement order reviewed and contact changed to once a month? I am absolutely NOT trying to restrict contact, I just want some stability for dd and also, maybe selfishly, to know where I stand with regards to when I can make plans.

Amibeingtoosensitive Thu 16-Mar-17 17:39:44

Is it worth going to the hassle of changing the residence order? Cab you not just come to a verbal agreement whereby he tells you when he is due back for a weekend so he can have dd?

Littlemissindependent Thu 16-Mar-17 17:59:51

We could, but he was the one who wanted the order. Also, he only seems to know fairly last minute if he's coming back or not, which isn't good for dd to not know what she's doing, and it leaves no room for planning anything. For example, if I booked tickets for myself and dd for a weekend I thought she would be with me, and he then rang and said he wanted her that weekend, he would expect me to ditch my plans. And if I didn't then he would become aggressive (as he has done in the past)

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