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AIBU to think mums net should not be about bullying

(112 Posts)
ZanStable Thu 16-Mar-17 15:20:31

I want to start by saying that I know this will get me called every name under the sun by a lot of you but I will take the bullying on the chin.

I have noticed a theme happening in thread where if you disagree with someone's point people have started resorting to name calling and mocking which to me is a form of bullying so I have to ask is this what you are all teaching your children?

I understand not everyone will agree but everything is posted yesterday either regarding myself or on someone else's thread resulted in at least one insult to my character or just mocking nasty comments.

I have been called an idiot, stupid, a princess, cold hearted, just to name a few just yesterday alone.

If your child came to you and said they had posted something online and was mocked and called names what would you think?
Is this acceptable from children? If not why are grown adults who are supposed to support each othere in raising said children resorting to this behaviour.

I don't see why some of you need to make yourselves feel better by insulting others or even comparing how "great you are" to others. I feel bad that you need to do it. If you do not know your own worth then I guess it might help you feel better to attack others if that is the case I send you a lot of love because you need it.

I was hoping mum's net would be a safe supportive place as I said even if you don't agree with someone there is a way of expressing yourself without lowering the tone to insults. I for one find it all very saddening as we all struggle with something about ourselves and I hoped that it would make this group of people more understanding.

I won't post again regarding anything and will advise other new parents to do the same. Read the articles yes but express anything on a forum no as some people might not have the thick skin needed to cope with the reply.

miserableandinpain Thu 16-Mar-17 15:25:02

I agree with you. Someone asks if they are being unreasonable. Leaving it open to opi ions. But if soneone doesnt agree with your opinion then you are the soawn of the devil! Makes you wamder is there any point any more. Im thinking of leaving the site

miserableandinpain Thu 16-Mar-17 15:25:27

That was awful spelling. I apologise

TimeforANewTwatName Thu 16-Mar-17 15:29:52

Did you report the name calling? Mumsnet doesn't allow personal attacks

miserableandinpain Thu 16-Mar-17 15:31:47

No point rising to it. Its just people feleing big behind their keyboards. I wont loose sleep over it. I would rather it there for people to see what they are like

Sparklingbrook Thu 16-Mar-17 15:32:56

Is this a TAAT?

AIBU is a joke topic on the whole, do you post in other toipics?

Dontactlikeyouknowme Thu 16-Mar-17 15:34:41

PA are deleted if reported. Did you report the 'bullies'?

GoodnightSeattle Thu 16-Mar-17 15:36:32

I see what you mean although it seems like yesterday was particularly bad. Some absolutely bizarre bullying I saw yesterday, really unpleasant. I don't find it's usually that bad.

Gowgirl Thu 16-Mar-17 15:38:32

I don't know about bullying but there were some peculiar threads In the last couple of days.

Dontactlikeyouknowme Thu 16-Mar-17 15:40:36

You asked if you were being unreasonable and most posters thought you were.

thecatneuterer Thu 16-Mar-17 15:41:12

I've just had a look at the thread you are talking about and I can't see any evidence of bullying at all (but I only skim read so maybe I just didn't see it). A few people said you were over-reacting. And I would say you are over-reacting now to those responses.

And yes this is obviously a TAAT.

I think though if you only want people to agree with you and/or commiserate then avoid AIBU.

ThymeLord Thu 16-Mar-17 15:41:28

Somebody disagreeing with you isn't bullying. Who says we all have to support each other? Why? Is this an "all mummies together" thing?

If you are the victim of a personal attack then report it to HQ.

phoenixtherabbit Thu 16-Mar-17 15:42:43

Disagreeing with someone is fine, calling them names etc because they disagree with you is not fine. And no, a lot of it doesn't get deleted actually.

ZanStable Thu 16-Mar-17 15:43:00

@Dontactlikeyouknowme

My thread was fine it was more what I saw last night on a few others I was reading that got out of hand

thecatneuterer Thu 16-Mar-17 15:44:31

Ah right. Sorry I misunderstood. I must have missed the threads you're talking about then.

Dontactlikeyouknowme Thu 16-Mar-17 15:44:40

Well yes ,sometimes there is a pile in.Did you challenge on the thread?

There were a few odd threads around yesterday.

Oblomov17 Thu 16-Mar-17 15:45:13

Oh purlease. I disagree with at least someone on practically every thread I go on. Isn't that the point?

ZanStable Thu 16-Mar-17 15:45:57

@catneutever not my thread one I posted in yesterday ended up getting a bit crazy last night

Underthemoonlight Thu 16-Mar-17 15:46:47

I'm confused there was no bullying on your thread but on another? I would take what people say with a pinch of salt there's many people in walks of live that either in families or the workplace and even the internet that aren't very nice only you can their words affect you.

Sparklingbrook Thu 16-Mar-17 15:47:36

I think people have differing views of what bullying on MN is. Having a few people disagree with you in AIBU doesn't not equate to bullying or a 'pile in'.

Backt0Black Thu 16-Mar-17 15:49:56

These threads are pretty much daily now and all follow the same timeline.

1 - post to AIBU
2 - be told overreacting or unreasonable
3 - disagree
4 - start new post crying bullying and that its not like the old days, or that mumsnet should be safe / supportive, voice vague notions of leaving.

I think pp's have it. We don't have to agree all the time, and certainly someone disagreeing isn't bullying. I do think MN on the whole IS safe and supportive, you just have to be prepared to hear you that your perception isn't as another persons. AIBU can get a bit boisterous, but I think bullying is rare - in fact I've received great advice on money, parenting, family issues. ... you just have to actually want advice / opinion rather than blanket agreement on your view.

Gowgirl Thu 16-Mar-17 15:52:04

Isn't there a corner for flouncing......

ZanStable Thu 16-Mar-17 15:52:16

Some of the stuff last night was a bit bad admins did step in eventually but just curious
why people think insulting someone is okay when most of us would tell our children not to do it.
I don't care what people call me personally most people disagreed with me yesterday on my own posts and that's fine I own it.
However some threads last night where a bit much just to read.

Dontactlikeyouknowme Thu 16-Mar-17 15:53:57

Sometimes posters get a bit carried away on AIBU and like to stick the boot in especially if everyone else is.

Usually someone will come on and say 'give the OP a break"

Unless the OP is being a complete arse grin

ImFuckingSpartacus Thu 16-Mar-17 15:54:17

Yeah, thats not what bullying is.

So people are robust in their opinions, so what? There are endless spaces on the internet for uber niceness and supportive language, but we're not all delicate little flowers who can't cope with people saying your're wrong, and swearing while they say it.

Why do people think its ok to shut down all kinds of conversation that they don't personally enjoy rather than just move on to something they do like?

Having a forceful opinion on a thread is not bullying, its silly to suggest it is. Some very strange posters had repeated pops at me last night, very nastily, because they didn't like my opinion or how I phrased it, so they thought it was ok to be far worse in response.
I don't give a fuck though, its the bloody internet. If it bothers you, go elsewhere.

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